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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

What ifs...

My man has a problem with hypothetical questions. I think many men do. Its like God has turned off the "What if.." switch in men's brains. Which is just fine with me because I don't think it would be fun to have another person in the house come up with crazy scenarios all the time. But it sure would be nice if he answers my hypotheticals..:)


One of our first fights was -- believe it or not -- about Angelina Jolie. I was browsing "People" magazine at a supermarket checkout line.


"Angelina Jolie seems to have such a fun life with lots of travel! How cool is that. Would you like to be Angelina Jolie?"


S gave me a blank stare.


"What? What would you do if you were Angelina Jolie?"


"But I am not Jolie."


"Yeah, I know. But imagine: what if you could live Angelina Jolie's life for one day. What would you do?"


S decided to be mulishly stubborn.


"But I am not Angelina Jolie. I don't want to be."


"Ack. Just imagine you are..I know you're not."


"I can't imagine something like this."


"Why not?"


"Why?"


"What do you mean 'why'? Can you imagine being someone else -- like maybe Gandhi?"


"No. I am S. I don't want to be anyone else. I can't imagine being anyone else."


Okay. I thought that was a very conceited answer. So you can imagine the conversation went south after that point. I accused him of being unimaginative and he told me I was crazy. This was 4 years ago.


Yesterday, we were watching "Monsters Vs. Aliens" featuring a 50 ft woman called "Gynormica". Her boyfriend dumps her because she becomes a 50 ft freak. So I turned to Sujan and said,


"Will you dump me if I become 50 ft tall?"


"I refuse to answer that question."


"Why? Its a simple question. All you have to do say is 'No, honey, I'll never, ever dump you'."


"I refuse to answer that question because its improbably stupid and its not funny."


"But why? What if I get hit by a meteorite tomorrow and become radioactive or something?"


Silence.


Why do I even try? Grrr. Ack. Thbbbtt.


13 comments:

RS said...

lol! Am all with you -- hypotheticals rock!

Rahul said...

hahhahah nice but if a man ignores the question like S it means that he doesn't want to hurt u by saying an answer which you wud not like.......

Ex: he wud leave u if ur a 50ft gaint, and he does not want to say that.....

being silent is better than hurting u......
Thatz wat i do atleast when my girl asks me such questions....

The Doodler said...

RS, :-)

Rahul, sorry to dash your conjecture but he did say that he won't ever leave me even if I was 50 ft tall..:)

Rahul said...

but u did say he was silent.... may be u forced him for an answer and he replied that

The good life said...

hehhehe...this one had me cracking...
I am so sorry for you but right now cannot stop laughing

Maayaa said...

roftl..i am laughing aloud in the library here..he he

well, i have seen that with a lot of men. I have fought with some friends exactly for not being able to put themselves as another person..

VeeKay said...

I really think you sometimes have some weird imaginations and stupid questions arising from those.

I am fully with S in not answering or even offering to imagine such weird scenarios or comjuring such what if situations

The Doodler said...

Dear VeeKay,

how stupid is it that you are vetti enough to read my "stupid imaginations"? And you are hiding behind a veil of anonymity to post rude comments like this one. I'd suggest you get a life and maybe start your own blog before you start being rude to other people.

expertdabbler said...

Actually, i think many men will like answer those what ifs.. when its interesting...

for e.g chances of you getting a good answer for 'what ifs' would've increased dramatically had you asked him, 'What if you are the CEO of your company for a day'

or What if you are Sachin, or something like that..

I do ask the same question to my team mates... reg. my senior manager..

'Avan nelaimai la irundhu paaru.. what if you are the senior manager, how do u tackle that problem...

aana nee konjam bejaarana kelvi ellam kekkare :)

Vasan said...

Possible replies to your question put to "S: could have been something like this:
1)Yes I would dump you.2)I would cage you and exhibit you as a weird show piece and earn some extra bucks on the sides.
There could have been many more in the same refrain-none of which would have been pleasing . You are wrong in assuming & stating that men have problems with hypothetical questions. Men have posed many hypotheses and also found satisfactory solutions to them .History is replete with any number of examples. If men keep quite it is because of consideration to their spouses-nothing else. I think what "S' has done is laudable. Isn't there a saying that discretion is the better part of---?

sb said...

S says...
I dont have any problems answering such questions nor am I going to dump my wife in any count. The problem with such questions are that these are not as fun and innocent as they sound. They kinda gives birth to more hypothetical questions and lead me into trouble.
So my theory is that it is better to be perceived dumb and unimaginative than to answer 10 such questions and get into trouble in the end!

But Subha to answer your questions
If I were Angalina Jolie I would be taking care of my "Jolie"
If you were 50 feet tall, "boost complan kudichu valara mudiyuma nu pakkanum".

Rahul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rahul said...

see subha thatz wat i meant may be did not put it in correct words there. I meant wat dabbler and vasan said