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Friday, July 21, 2006

Roti, Kapda Aur Makaan

Wanted: A leasing agent at a very nice apartment house who can be snobbish, patronizing and efficient. Duties include being rude and condescending to the new tenant, smiling emptily, ensuring that they realize our worth by acting as hi-fi and snooty as possible. If you don't have these qualities, our training will help you.

It is my opinion that's how apartment houses advertise for positions..:)

Scene 1: I go to a plush, nice apartment house looking for a new house. After initial niceties, I ask about an apartment I am interested in.

Girl: Ah, we don't have that layout for you to look at now. We have another if you'd like.
Me: But I want Layout I.
Girl: I am sorry you can't look at it because we don't have any.
Me: When does it become available?
Girl: Aug 12
Me: Ok, can I have a hold on that apartment but confirm after I've seen it once?
Girl: You can have a hold but it costs $200.
Me: Will I get it back if I don't like it?
Girl: No. That's penalty for changing your mind.
Me: Penalty? But I haven't even seen the apartment. How can I decide if I like it or not?
Girl: I don't know, Ma'am. I am sorry but those are the rules.
Me: So I can't see the apartment until Aug 12 but I have to agree to take it now without seeing it?
Girl: Yes. If not, we will lease it to someone else.
Me: But how will that someone else decide to take it if they've not seen it?
Girl: [smiling patronizingly] They do.
Me: I don't believe this!


Scene 2: We are at an apartment looking at it.

Me: Will the management change all carpets and damaged items in the apartment before I move in?
Girl: Yes.
Me: How can I be guaranteed that I will have a new carpet?
Girl: [smiling icily] You can't.
Me: ????!$#$#$# So it is at the management's disposal? What if I am not happy with it?
Girl: Oh, we can't help it.


Scene 3: Apartment office. Working out details of the rent.

Girl: You have two choices. If you take an apartment with a washer/dryer then its $30 extra per month. Otherwise, it is just $X00.
Me: Hmm ok. So if I take the apartment with the washer/dryer, how much does it amount to? [I know the math but I just wanted to confirm.]
Girl: [looking blank] Err..it is $X15.
Me: [confused]. Are you sure?
Girl: Of course. I know.
Me: For washer/dryer, it is $30 more?
Girl: uh-huh
Me: [unakku kanakku podave therlai. Idhula "uh-huh" vera!] Ok, if it is $X15, I will take it.
Girl: Hang on. Let me get a calculator.
[Does calculation]
Oh, I am sorry. It is $X30.
Me: But you just said $X15.
Girl: hehe..I can't do math without a calculator..hehe.
Me: Siri..adhu onnu dhaan kuraichal.

Scene 4: I decide to take an apartment and I am signing the papers.

Girl: We have a 3rd floor apartment and a 1st floor. The 3rd floor comes without washer/dryer.
Me: Hmm..I think I will take the 3rd floor. I plan to buy my own washer/dryer.
Girl: Ok. If you can sign here please....
Girl: I need you to put down your salary.
Me: Why?
Girl: We need to make sure you can pay your rent.
Me: [Offended] If I can't pay my rent, i wouldn't move in here.
Girl: We need to decide that. I also need your paystub.

[Podi. Enga amma appa kooda idhu varaikkum ennai paystub kettadhillai!]

Me: Grumble..grumble...ok..humph.

Girl: I need your manager's number.
Me: What for??
Girl: I need to make sure you work where you say you work!
Me: You will have my paystub, right?
Girl: We don't like to evict our tenants. So we make sure of everything before they move in. Your manager has to fill out a form.
Me: What if he is too busy?
Girl: You can't move in.
Me: $#&&#$^#$&#$&#$&#$^!

Scene 5: I am at work smug and satisfied that finally I finished my house-hunting affair. I am dreaming about having vaulted ceilings and chandeliers and soft lighting....Phone rings.

Me: Hello..
Girl: Hi, this is J here.
Me: Oh, hi!
Girl: You can't have the third floor apartment.
Me: What? Why?
Girl: I was wrong. The tenants don't move out until November.
Me: But you said they would in Aug?
Girl: No. I am sorry. I was wrong.
Me: But I don't want the first floor apartment.
Girl: Sorry, ma'am. That's the only one available.
Me: Are there any other apartments I can look at?
Girl: No.
Me: Can I have my deposit back?
Girl: No. it is non-refundable.
Me: But I put down a deposit hoping I'd get the 3rd floor apartment! This is unfair.
Girl: Hmm..maybe I can take off $20 from the rent?
Me: That's it?
Girl: That's all.
Me: grumble..grumble...ok.

That, my friends, is what you've to go through to get a nice apartment. Sigh..

17 comments:

Prabu Karthik said...

enna pethal idhu subha.
unakke indha nelamaya??

pesama case potru avanga mela!
if u have any proof for what they promised earlier

Anonymous said...

I wonder how come a girl who cant do simple addition be a realtor agent

Zeppelin said...

me thinks the 'girl' was having a pretty bad day.. may be her boyfriend dumped her the previous night... or may be you were looking really pretty and she was not dressed really well..

maybe..

Or..IT JUST WASNT YOUR DAY.. :PPPPPP

next time, try talking to a guy agent and see how things change.. or take some guy with you and let him do the talking while you are actually controlling what he asks..cos left alone most guys would end up asking the 'girl' for a date..or maybe..atleast a coffee..;)

ok - i think i need to go home..:D

cheers!

Anonymous said...

Subha..

I dont aggree with u at all..may be because u stay in Lexington..the agents in Chicago were really nice and good...House hunting is always a Pain...I guess u r too choosy

K

Anonymous said...

Till today I thought it was my ineffectiveness in dealing with a leasing agent that caused me so much trouble finding the right apartments...Girl, I can relate your experience to the dot..and I've always wondered wheter I don't have it in me to negotiate with these snobbish ladies. well, now I find someone whom I could relate to onthis matter....:-)

Anonymous said...

okay I think there's some racism here. I have faced very similar snobbish agents out here in westcoast and almost all Indians have faced these suckers.

Anonymous said...

i too had a similar experience like this in AZ. they tell you something over the phone and when you go there the same evening they tell you that the market rate has increased by 30 $ ..one of the silliest excuses they gave me for not able to enter the amount & the required number of months (i was renewing my lease by 9 more months) is that their s/w would not allow to enter 9 months...it allows for all numbers from 1 to 12 except for 9 is what she gave me a crap ..huh ..

Zeppelin said...

seri... makan ok... roti kapda enga pochu ?? :P :P

Kay said...

"Roti, Kapda Aur Makaan" partha udane etho hindi pada review nu ninachi bayanthupoiten.

neways, After giving hard time to the leasing agents, glad u decided to take up an apartment :)

Subha said...

PK,
adhu enna "enakke" indha nilamaya? :) aana solla mudiyadhu, en neram enna venum na nadakalaam...hummmmm...

Anon,
yeah!:)

zeppelin,
I tend to agree that guys should be left to deal with girl leasing agents...:)

K,
I am not choosy! Maybe you were lucky!:)

Subha said...

Anonymous 1,
:)

Anonymous 2,
I don't think its racism..that's the way these people are..

Anonymous 3,

they are money suckers! :)

Subha said...

zeppelin,

Well, if you wanna hear my story about roti, that'd have to be another blog...hehe..

Kay,
:)

யாத்திரீகன் said...

:-)))

Venky Krishnamoorthy said...

You should take them to BBB

IBH said...

$20 off of monthly rent? then it is a good deal and a good house :)

just kidding...but u really become frustrated at times to get a nice apartment with all our likes and dislikes

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Gopinath Sundharam said...

very funny.. :) LOL