Pages

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Of Baddies and Hum Tum and so on....

Have you ever noticed how baddies in movies get all scared when they're about to die?! This is a universal truth in all Holly,Bolly,Golly,Tollywood flicks. I mean, these villain guys (it can be women too. I make no distinction between the genders here)shoot,loot,defile,ravage,rape throughout the movie; but when the hero points a gun at them, they suddenly start cowering and begging. Huh? I'd think that if you heartlessly kill and maim for a considerable period of time, you'd either

a. have thought about the fact that someone is prone to do the same to you or
b. devote sometime to the concept of dying and how your victims would feel during their last moments since you spend so much of your time bumping them off.

After all, they can't be successful villains without some intellect! Actually, let me extend this observation of mine to something else too. This might be rather controversial and I might be called a FCS (Female Chauvinist Sow- courtesy ethiri. Supposed to be the opposite of a Male Chauvinist Pig). But honestly, this is just a general observation and I am sure many guys would agree with me.

Now, we all know that guys in general (and the 18 somethings that are in college, in particular) will tease/pass comments/jokes on girls' appearance rather indiscriminately. These comments are often humorous, funny and might not necessarily be extremely harsh but nonetheless, they are at times unwarranted and hurt/provoke girls. Usually, girls ignore such things or cry (if particularly sensitive) to their girl friends (Face it, guys. What's a non-issue to you might be a BIG issue to us..:)). Oftentimes, the guy involved might walk up and say "Naan joke-ku dhaane sonnen. Adhai yen serious-a eduthukittu azhara?" and it will assuage her feelings.

But if the girl just turns around and says, "Dhoda, comment adikkara moonji-ai paaru! Enakku sirippe varalai. Konjam improve pannikko" or something to that effect, the guy (s) usually gets totally incensed at this. I don't think a simple "Naan joke-ku dhaane sonnen. Adhai yen serious-a eduthukkara?" by the girl would work here..:) How dare a girl (after all, a girl!) insult him? It is tantamount to blasphemy, heresy! Aren't you supposed to be able to take back as good as you get?! How is it that people don't realize that the same thing that they do day in and day out might not be as palatable when it happens to them?! I spent four years of undergrad trying to figure that one out..:)

Well, I've seen similar situations in other places too. For example, guys in a big crowd and a few girls. Suddenly guys crack a joke and laugh raucously amongst themselves and the girls are left to wonder if it is about them. Ask them and they'll tell you, "Hey, why does everything have to be about you? We are just having some guy-talk!" and girls are supposed to be satisfied. If they persist in asking, they are called nags. Now turn the situation around. Girls start giggling about something amongst themselves. Immediately the crowd goes silent. Somehow, the dialogue about it just being girl-talk doesn't work here....:) If the men persist in asking what's going on, well, they're just being curious, that's all! After all, what is girl-talk anyway? Guys usually think girl-talk is just a subset of guy-talk; they are the universal set; we are just a poor little subset and they'd know what we're talking about anyway....:)

Hmm..I guess what I am trying to say, in general, is that people who know to dish it out should well know how to take it too! Oh well, I guess I've added my portion of the fuel to the "Hum Tum" debate. Guys, no offense and gals, you know what I'm talking about! :))

29 comments:

Priya said...

I perfectly understand subha :)

Summa illa - samayaa sonna!

Subset concept observation is totally true. I too have noticed that.

Infact, girls enna pesuvaangannu theriyaamaye avangala estimate (mostly thappa) vera pannuvaanga!

Anand Ramamoorthy said...

an observation that is correct in most if not all respects.
I too had such ideas say around 4 or 5 years ago until I came to know some girls who were extremely influential in my development during the first few years of college..of course they were much older and serious. one of them a mathematician was so good ( at whatever she did and to me who was just a scientific fledgling), that I adopted her as a sister..(she's married now and in the U.S but when she was in chennai I was in the habit of referring any and every hypothesis of mine to her ). another person was a chemist who introduced me to mathematical modelling. I also came to understand that this universal set attitude ( as you have caled it) was still dominant among most of my contemporaries ( don't get confused, my earlier attitude had something to do with the giggling and other strange behaviours and not with the position of women in general).
however I have undergone certain remarkable changes ( BHAGAWAD SAMKALPAM, NOT MY DOING ANYWAY), and I can stand up and say that this attitude is not something I can be found to have .
I have certain observations here
1. we all find something amusing and ridiculous about others and promptly make fun of these things publicly or atleast in private,
little do we know that we are likely to find ourself at the receiving end, this is the reason why I limit my remarks (about others) almost always to impersonal ones.
2. the problem of U.S.attitude (not the states, but universal set)is something partly physiological,
3. men and women are equal..but let all intelligent defenders of this slogan understand that they are also different, not just physicaly but more importantly in the emotional and psychological domains.
(I should learn something about brevity)
SARVAM SRIKRISHNAARPANAMASTHU!

Sriram C S said...

How dare a girl (after all a girl) make such observations about guys!!! ;)

Arvind said...

Subha,
is this your idea of 'entertaining' :P ?

If we continue to build up on the argument, parents can say the samething about children - how about when parents start crying and throwing tantrums, when they don't have their way with children ;)

And recursively apply that, what would HE (no genders applicable) do ?

vyhk7tfvi48zmky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
RS said...

Subha - looks like you are geeting spammed too - what is FCPG?

Anyway - entertaining post :)

Part of what goes into the aphorism - "Boys will be boys" :)

Zeppelin said...

subha,

interesting post..

just wanted to add some view/opinions and some other tit-bits of info on this topic. :) (pardon me for occasional digression, if any)

Most of what you have mentioned happens, especially when guys/gals are in the teens and/or just out of it. Now, i am not trying to justify the actions of either the boys or girls...

Some guys do it for the following possible reasons: (from UG experience..:))
1. Insecurity
2. Creating grounds to finally talk to that girl that he always wanted to... :)
3. Being Mr.Smarty Pants (or so they think)
4. To have a sense of belonging among a gang of peers.. i.e giving in to peer pressure..

now, some of the guys who actually do the bad mouthing realise that the women folk have taken it rather personally and try to apologise and make-do... but when some his mate sees this..END OF STORY ! 'machi, andha naai poyum poyum ava kitta poi sorry solran da...blah blah...'.. So the story continues and the guy does the so-called 'innocent' name-calling and whatnot just to impress his 'gang'.. :)

as for others who do not fit in the above sample set, no words to describe...:(

again, I feel all this happens in the turbulent adolescence period.. once out of that, most guys realise that girls are equally human...

Hope all this makes sense... so dont give up on the would-be-gentlemen.. is my humble request.. ;)

TJ said...

Yappa sariyaana kaaram!
Aamam neenga yendha college??

Half the girls might cry, and the rest half will go to Princi or Director or HOD, saying that the guys is teasing.

Adhukku dhaan andha direkson laye thirumba koodadhunu periyava ellam solli irukka. Aedhavadhu pesuvane, apporam insensitive MCP nu tag vaangikuvane.. ;)

Subha said...

Priya,
subset concept thambi lerndhu, best friends varaikkum ella pasangalukkum true..:)! Hmm..I wouldn't say all guys would "estimate" girls..more often, I've found men rarely ever take the time to *estimate*..they are occupied with other things! LOL

Subha said...

Anand,
Agree with all your 3 points especially your last one..:) I think its fun that men and women are different..otherwise, this world will be a uniform monotone of cliched behaviours..:) And we wouldn't have funny shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond"!!

Subha said...

@Agnibarathi,
LOL
RS,
Looks like I am getting spammed! Help!
Arvind,
I am not seeing how you extend the argument to parents and children..?!ennoda brain konjam slow..:)Manichukkonga!

Subha said...

Arun a.k.a zeppelin,
What you say is very true. Ipdi panraangale nu manasu varutha patta kaalam ellam 1st year oda pochu! :) I came to realize what guys tend to say and what they mean are usually two different things! As I said, mostly they are decent and they come and apologize. Hmmm..but I've seen some remnants of this behaviour always carry on past the teens. But anyways, I am not giving up on the few gentlemen of this world! You see, I do believe that even if Nice Guys Finish last, they end up last with the best girl in town..:))

Subha said...

tj,
azhudhuttu HOD, director kitta poradhellam LKG-la..:) College-la vandhu idhai endha ponnum panni naan parthadhilleeengo! Naan Trichy-la padichen.

kamal said...

FCS is actually courtesy - ANM. Giving credit where its due :)

Kishan said...

Subha...

Can you pls translate when u write something in tamil !!!....This poor guy is a telugu ...

F e r r a r i said...

Indha madhiri vishayangaL makes life interesting :)

Indha madhiri edhirmaara yosikaradhu naala dhaane opposites attract aagaradhu? ;-)

Zeppelin said...

yes you are right, there are remnants of such behaviour well beyond college years... but hey, there are exceptions to everything, right ?

abou the nice guy finishing last, I agree.... but ending up with the best girl in town ? hmmm..that I dont know.. :)

btw, have you read this ? Ode to The Nice Guy

cheers!

Anonymous said...

I rarely find girls dishing out what they get and that emboldens the attitude on guys.

If they respond immediately and directly in a non-confrontational approach i think that would inculcate some sense in these kind of people.
-vv

Arvind said...

Subha,

Still in the 8086 days ? :P

You summing up...

"..in general, is that people who know to dish it out should well know how to take it too.."

Me comments...

"If we continue to build up on the argument, parents can say the samething about children - how about when parents start crying and throwing tantrums, when they don't have their way with children ;)"

any bells ? count bells ? :)

Zeppelin said...

@ arvind,

enna machi, same comment again ?

uda maata pola ? ;)

Anonymous said...

Indha madhiri edhirmaara yosikaradhu naala dhaane opposites attract aagaradhu?

indha maadhiri edhirmaraya yosikkaradhu naala opposites attract aagudhO illayO opposites attack aagudhu.

Arvind said...

@arun,

in response to Subha's query

"...Arvind,
I am not seeing how you extend the argument to parents and children..?!ennoda brain konjam slow..:)Manichukkonga!
"

Subha said...

Kamal,
Thanks. ANM, thanks for the new acronym..:)
Kishan,
Oops, Didn't know I had a Telugu reader on my blog..:) Will try to keep it strictly english.
Ferrari,
I guess so..:)
Zeppelin,
Will check it out!

Subha said...

VV,
see, the thing is girls are generally non-confrontational which is why no girl makes a big deal of these things..but we are like Mt. Vesuvius..:) We hold all these things in our mind and explode one fine day to the confusion of the guy in question..!

Subha said...

@Anonymous,
yaarungo neengo?

Arvind,
well, the argument cannot apply to parents and children..and first of all, the people I am talking about are NOT children..:) It is a question of reactions when everybody is on a peer-level interaction.
But what are you trying to say? That 'an eye for an eye makes the entire world blind"??

Arvind said...

Subha,

You almost got it there ;)

"..in general, is that people who know to dish it out should well know how to take it too.."

Bottomline : most people are not equipped to handle what they dish out :-). If for a second, you assume, everything was the same - there will not be any gradient and nothing changes - ONLY coz there is a gradient, everything happens....and the gradient will continue to be there :-)

Note - the direction of gradient not specified.

If your question is - why should the gradient be not bi-directional - perfectly valid point - just a matter of time ;)

If your question is - why should there be a gradient - then i don't have a point :P

Guess, have confused you all now :-D

Anonymous said...

ungaLukku konjam therinja anonymous thaangO.

yaarunnu reveal paNNa round katti adikka pOreengaLaa?

ippavE onnu clear paNNikarengO:

oppositeS-nnu paNmayila thaan sonnenungO. so it applies to both sex-ngO. :)

Priya said...

sama kaara saara discussion pola ...hmnn..
"oru vazhiyaaga ella kelvikalukkum bathil alitha Ms subhashini avarkalukku 100 mathipengal!!!" :)-

thennavan said...

Subha, although you bring a female's perspective to relationships, I must say in my experience, it is the men at the receiving end these days :-)