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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Confessions of a mellowed mind...

Ages 6-10: (Cranky, smirking kids' voices) "My Dad can beat up your Dad!"
Ages 11-20: (Angry, embarassed, annoyed adolescent voices) "You don't know anything, Dad; you don't know anything..."
Ages 23+: (Nostalgic, wistful voices) "My Dad used to say..."

Once when I was up in arms against my Dad over some matter during my teen years, my exasperated father repeated the above dialogues to me. I guess he couldn't stand his little girl arguing against everything he said. He said that one day I'd reach the last phase when I'd see the value of his advice. The cranky kid that I was, I shouted that I'd never, ever state that my dad had taught me anything useful! After all, what special thing had he taught me and why did he have to think that he was the best judge in most matters?

Well, those days are gone. Curiously enough, today, I think about the hundred times over the past few months I've prefaced my utterances with, "My dad used to say..."! A sign that I have grown up?! A sign of maturity?! Perhaps it is a sign of acknowledgement that as the years have rolled by, I've come to see the wisdom and temperance in my father's and mother's words...:) A wistful smile creased my forehead as this thought crossed my mind today. You know, my Dad used to say....

11 comments:

Priya said...

hmnn ennavo po!!..ipdidhaan solva.. aana appa kooda gusthi dhaane innumum:)

F e r r a r i said...

You crossed 23 recently?
Happy birthday :-D

Zeppelin said...

yen ellarum ippidi malarum ninaivugal phase la irukkom nu therila...

ippidi sentiya pottu thaakara ?!

nice post... very true !

Anonymous said...

Yes,very true indeed.

Btw, 21 & 22 are missing .. Avuthu vitta kazhuthaya?

-Vasu

Barath said...

Completly understandable...My dad used to say the same thing!

TJ said...

Very important observation. After 23+, or when the children become independent, there is a lot of change in the parents perspective also. IN the 11-20, if the child quarrels with the parents, they take it very lightly but if it is 23+, the impact on the parents is more.
By then they would have started moving into the 'old age' phase and psychologically start getting the 'i am getting dependent' feeling.
Infact i started calling my dad 'vango pongo' nowadays. Though initially it looked very artificial, once u get used to it, it expresses lot more love and respect.
"Nee Konojam pesama iruppa" creates completely different impact when it is said by a 15 yr old and a 30 year old.
Annayum pithavum munari deivem :)

Anand Ramamoorthy said...

I kinda feel odd commenting like this,

I do disagree with my dad over a lot of things but I have also always been attributing some of my values to him.
I speak of my dad everytime people tell me that I am too straightforward or conscientious. I must say that I too have mellowed down, but this has only changed the way I speak to my father ,though not as respectful as TJ has described (for me respect in personal conversations implies distance as well).
why are you suddenly sounding different? one post speaks of mortality and now you have "mellowed down"
SARVAM SRIKRISHNAARPANAMASTHU!

Sriram C S said...

Ages 6-10: (Cranky, smirking kids' voices) "My Dad can beat up your Dad!"
Ages 11-20: (Angry, embarassed, annoyed adolescent voices) "You don't know anything, Dad; you don't know anything..."
appadiyellAm nadukkumA? enakku theriyAthE. nAn romba nalla paiyyan!!! ;)

Subha said...

Priya,
naan samathu! adhellam kidaiyaadhu

Ferrari,
Good guess..yes, I did cross 23 recently..

AK,
ellarukkum vayaasagi pochu illai..adhaan.

Subha said...

Vasu,
amaam, unnai maadhiri avuthu vitta kazhudhai..

Barath,
again a "my dad used to say.."?! :)

TJ,
karuthu kandasaamiya maritiya?..just kidding..what you say is true.

Anand,
Hmmm..i think people don different hats at different moments of their life..:) Perhaps I am donning my serious hat for a while.

Agnibarathi,
indha kadhaiyellam inga vendam..:)

RS said...

I have never really disagreed a lot with my dad but it's true that nowadays (distance, age?) I find myself saying "My dad says..." many times in a day!