Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Telephone guilt

The Mr. is gone to a traffic class all evening today, the result of getting a speeding ticket about 3 months back. You get to escape the hefty dollar fine by signing up for a 3.5 hour class. PB told me once that this lecture was actually quite engrossing. I'll find out from S tonight..:)

I hate cooking alone without conversational company. So I dialed a few friends I haven't called in ages. I always dread calling people after a looooong time. I can never tell what the opening gambit will be:

a) a gushing "Wow! How are you? I have so much to tell you...!" OR
b) a sarcastic "Oooh, you actually remember me?!! Glad you could spare a few minutes from your schedule!"

With a), the conversation just flows and you never feel the long gap in communication. With b), everything goes downhill from the first moment. This happened today. My friend tried to make me feel very guilty for not calling. I spent time justifying myself and explaining in detail my busy, daily schedule. In the end, I was exhausted and he was frustrated and neither of us got to really catch-up on our respective lives.

I've played this game myself sometimes. But that lasts for 30 seconds. This lasted 30 minutes. I think that sometimes it pays to take some things for granted -- like friendship. If a person's commitment/trust is continually called into question and one has to prove oneself almost daily, it becomes annoying. This is precisely the reason I don't call relatives as well!

Sometimes, when you have face-time with a person, all these guilt-games fade into inconsequence. Do telephonic conversations play-up insecurities and maybe, hasten the end of some relationships?


pb said...

As far as I know, They normally dont waive the fine fee. Only thing is there wont be any points on your records and you can save some money in insurance.

prabukarthik said...

you can only sustain a friendship via phone.. which means its primarily maintenance work and like all maintenance work.. it's got to be done regularly, not once in a blue moon:D

Calling a friend after a loooong while is like trying a borewell in chennai... sometimes you will get nothing but air.. if you are unlucky, you will hit drainage.. and if you are very lucky you will get precious water.

PS: If it's you who'd done the calling after ages, you should be the one to start the cribbing.
Attack is the best form of defence.

The Doodler said...


Don't agree with you..:-)

Priya Venkatakrishnan said...

okay..ippo another tag subha!!

Badhri said...

One from me too! :) sorry. Its up to you.

More details @

Kishore Reddy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Badhri said...

I have friends with whom I have not called for months. But after that I helped a few with jobs, and a few others helped me with accommodation.

I guess its basically not being a frog in a well.

200% Disagree with Kishore.