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Friday, March 17, 2006

I haven't been posting frequently. I have figured out that there's a direct relation between my reading and writing. The more diverse the topics I read about, the more ideas I have to write about. Of late, it has been a dry run. I haven't picked up a book and devoted time to it in the past two months. The last book I read was "Udaiyar" by Balakumaran when I was in India. I really do yearn for the feeling where I can just lose myself in the yarn spun by the lines of a good book! Ahhh! But then, there's also this little something called concentration that has to oblige..:)
I have put aside Jane Austen's "Emma" for my next read. After reading too many contemporary, practical essays/books, I yearn for a bit of old-world-charm and romance! Perhaps, the direct result of watching "Pride and Prejudice" last weekend...:)
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I was standing in queue at a bank when this quote flashed on a display screen:
"A man in love is incomplete until he marries. Then he's finished"- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Brought a smile on my face..:)
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As if there wasn't enough controversy over abortion, now we have this. I confess I'd never even imagined such a point of view! So this article made me raise my brows. Male readers, what's you take on this? Just curious.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

If wat Dubay saying is correct, then its unfair for him to pay the child support money. I guess its the lady's responsibility to see if the guy is ready for a child. With choice, comes the responsibility. She made the choice and she should be responsible for it.

Anon - I


PS: No surprise the marriage system works excellent in India. We are not taught to conceive a child before marriage.

Anonymous said...

As a man I will agree with Dubay. I guess he has half the right to demand the termination of foetus. If the other half really wants the baby then it's her responsibility. Natural laws of justice no ?

as the previous poster said in many the nature of Indian society with all it's drawbacks really helps avoid such nuisance.

Hellboy said...

Mr.Dubay's case doesn’t stand a chance, at least in my court. All he is doing is running away from his responsibilities. If you can’t take responsibility of your actions then you better make sure you don’t do it in the first place.

He was lax because his girl friend assured him that nothing will happen - Mr.Dubay, that’s as weak as it can get. your girl friend assured you, come on. Case dismissed, now own up and pay up.

Karthik S said...

hellboy,
I think u've got the issue wrong. If Mr.Dubay wanted the child aborted and the girl did not heed him, is he still on the hook for payments...... the point to note is that Mr.Dubay "wanted" the child to be aborted. He is not disowning the child

Prabu Karthik said...

to me the guy is helpless in this case, but he is more of an exception than the norm.

if guys r let go scot free then all the guys would seek shelter under this judgement /provision.

then it will be all the more difficult for the womenfolks to prove otherwise later on...

Naan indian culture pathi ellam edhuvum pesa thayaara illai:)

ippo rencent trend padi women who seek divorce rarely make claim for settlement. "vitta podhum" nu dhaan irukaanga..

Courtesy: SUN TV sirappu parvai

Karthik S said...

cases like these are just a front to a bigger agenda. I think they are targetting Row V Wade and are trying to overturn it.

Hellboy said...

Oh, i got the issue correct karthik. When i said being responsible i didn’t mean offering the solution of aborting to the girl, I was referring to the responsibility on his part of realizing that there is a good chance that he will be impregnate the girl. that’s what i call being responsible. It starts way before conceiving.


Just suggesting the girl to abort doesn’t exonerate him from paying up or from anything. He was trying to patch up his irresponsible behavior by even saying like that. You know what kind of precedence it will set, a scary one. Any one who doesn’t want to pay child support can always claim that they suggested aborting and the girl didn’t heed.

So Dubay wants the same right that roe vs wade granted women, goodness gracious I don’t even know what to say.

We all talk about the right of dubay and the girl. I don’t think anyone thinks of the little kid Elisabeth. Imagine how it will be to grow up when ones own parents fight over their very existence.

And I am sorry I didn’t get this “the point to note is that Mr.Dubay "wanted" the child to be aborted. He is not disowning the child” :)

Karthik S said...

hellboy,
He accepts he is the father. He just doesn't want to pay childsupport. That's what I meant.

Now let us think of this scenario. Man and woman have sex. Woman thinks it's during the "safe" period and encouranges un-protected sex. But she gets pregnant. She wants to abort but the guy wants to have the baby and is willing to provide child support. Now on whose favor will u rule ?

Anonymous said...

Yup Karthik. I agree with you. I guess its high time people look at issues by avoiding their natural bias towards females ,which is quite natural because usually females end up as victims. But being a female doesnt entitle them everything. And now, I am not anti-feminist ...

Anon - I

PS: Hope subhashini doesnt mind we aruguing over her space. Thanks subha.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Finished for life? LOL :)

How about a Woman??

Subha said...

Everyone,
I've not yet absorbed all your comments fully for me to reply. Will do so in a few hours..:)

@Anonymous,
Someone has been posting caustic comments about Narayanan Venkitu's observations. Although I respect your opinion and readership very much, I feel rather uncomfortable when my blog space is being used to needle a fellow blogger. I'd be interested to know your opinion on the issue but not your opinion on Mr. Venkitu's comment! Hey, after all, we all have our own ideas..:)I am sure you understand..:)Thanks!

I know there are a lot of anonymous-es posting comments on my blog. This comment is directed at one particular anonymous. Not sure how to clarify this since I have NO clue who this person might be but I think the person concerned will know! I apologize to all the other anonymous commenters..:)

Hellboy said...

we can discuss multiple scenarios but my stand remains the same. Responsibility is the same for guys and girls.

As partners they should talk whether they are ready for parenthood, planned or unplanned. I either one is not ready then as responsible adults they should use contraceptives, no taking risk during safe periods or believing in conditions (like Dubay). It gives an immediate 95% prevention from conceiving. Even thats not foolproof, they should still have a Plan B if they had to unfortunately fall in the 5% bracket and conceive. In that case they should question whether they will follow through and give birth, if the answer is no, this may sound radical – then they shouldn’t get together.

I am not making this as a simple mathematical equation or talking from the comfort that I am not the one that is going through all these. I may not totally understand the medical side of the whole thing but I do feel strongly that they can prevent themselves from getting into a situation where abortion is an option. I do have a fairly good idea what I would do and these comments closely reflect that.

And sorry for cluttering this space, I am resting my case here.

A. Noname Moose said...

1. The guy didn't want a child.
2. The guy trusted the conniving girlfriend.
3. More power to her, but, when the shit hit the fan, the girlfriend refused to 'fix' the 'problem'.

The woman in the case made a conscious choice in the face of alternatives. It is really stupid for her to hold someone ELSE responsible for her obstinacy.

In my court, the woman would be jailed for fraud. For "stealing" the man's fatherhood.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Sorry Subha, never thought a one line comment ( that I thought wasn't too harsh) would have such an impact on someone.

Karthik S said...

Narayanan,
I don't think I get ur first post. Finished for lifenu edhai mean panreenga ?

Also sorry to hear about this blo(g)stalking....

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Karthik: Subha wrote:
"A man in love is incomplete until he marries. Then he's finished"- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I just added flavor...and said 'Finished for life'...no harm meant..!! Just a casual remark.!!

Anonymous said...

Hello Narayanan Venkitu,
I seem to have go you entirely wrong. Communication Mistake. I wish to apologize profusely.

dinesh said...

I think this is a never ending argument. Never put too much thought into it before today, I must confess. But here's my opinion.

The guy that's being talked about here is definitely a victim of circumstances. He did not have a choice and asking him to pay child support in a decision that he had no choice in, seems certainly unfair. Having said that, he cannot be relieved completey of any responsibility, because of 2 reasons. 1. He should know where to place his trust. If you place it in the wrong people, you have to pay for it and 2. This would set a scary precedent like somebody here mentioned. My solution to this problem: Pay a small portion of the required child support. As for the girl, it was her choice to keep the baby, and so, it's her responsibility to find ways to support the baby. And yes, she should be punished for stealing the guy's fatherhood.

I was wondering what you were going to write about ! :)

"A man in love is incomplete until he marries. Then he's finished"- Zsa Zsa Gabor - Brought a smile to my face too :)

And you owe me one, for making me retype the whole thing :)

Arvind said...

Subha,

Even though i "pass"ed this article along on cnn's site, now i did read it - and it has left me confused...

like many of the commenters pointed out (and Dinesh) - you pay for misplaced trust -in THIS case.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Anon.
You are very welcome!.