I went to Starbucks with a long-time friend this evening. It was just the two of us and I was all tingly with anticipation because she'd told me she had "special news" to share! Outings with girl friends are just so much more fun in some ways! You get to bond about a lot of things a guy is never, ever, ever going to get (even if it is one's husband). Back in college, Shailu and I used to regularly do this -- just hang out and do "girly" things. I miss that so much in the US! I had an awesome time just catching up on old times, talking about her guy, wedding plans, moving plans, the whole works.
Some questions just become difficult to ask as we get older. Especially, topics about marriage and salary packages even with good friends. People get defensive about their choices and even if you were just asking most innocently, the conversation goes all awkward. Can words really mean so many things? I wouldn't mind if someone I know well asks me a similar question but different people come with different baggages, experiences and responsibilities. So these days I've drawn an invisible lakshman rekha with most people (Of course, there's still the few people I take that liberty with!). Does it bode well for those relationships? Do we need to risk asking hard questions sometimes? Or does not asking very personal questions somehow strengthen the relationship? I guess the answer to most of these questions is "It depends"..:)
Speaking of relationships, I've agonized over a lot of friendships that "could have been". You really like a person and you want to get to know them well. But sometimes expectations aren't always balanced on both ends. Sometimes, people want more or they want less. Or maybe one blurts something that'd have been better left unsaid! The situation gets awkward and a once promising friendship fades away into obscurity. I've had my fair share of these and I've spent a lot of mental energy wondering if it could've turned out differently.
But these days I've had a lot of perfectly normal, conflict-less, amicable friendships fade into oblivion as well! These are due to the more practical demands of physical distance, work, school, family etc..
I've reconciled myself to the fact that if long-time friendships can fade into nothing, losing a few budding-friendships isn't so bad.