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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Taking stock...

The end of the year is approaching and everyone is taking stock. Have I grown in some way this year? Have I learnt some things? Have I changed a lot?

- I've learned to consciously walk away from certain relationships that hinder my peace of mind. Its not easy and often, I want to just forget and go back. But I've realized that its unhealthy and consciously stayed away.

- I've cut down on phone talking and consequently, become mentally more calm (Yaay! That's quite an achievement).

- I've given up afternoon coffee..:(

- Most importantly, I am learning to forgive - even when something's not my fault at all; even when the world knows that someone else is wrong; even when I am hurt; even when I'd rather kick and scream. I always thought that anger took more energy to manifest. I've realized that forgiveness is the toughest art to master in this universe and he who does this is truly divine.

- Gotten back to my Carnatic music roots and learnt some new krithis.

- I've become more conscious of the levels of human resource consumption thanks to a lot of conversations amongst friends here. Maybe I can contribute to the betterment of the world? Maybe I can't? But at least, now I am aware and that's always the first step.

- I've learnt that friends will stay friends no matter what you do or don't do. And those that leave because of something you did or didn't do were never friends in the first place. I know that sounds like a Hallmark card but I think this year is when I really realized that fact! :)

- I've learnt that few people remain "friends" because of some incentives. The moment that incentive vanishes, they'll walk away and not care a tuppence.

- I realised that being "good" (whatever that means), is purely principle-based. Being good doesn't guarantee a return favour. I had a bit of soul-searching in the middle of the year about this topic. I guess we still adhere to good behaviours for our own peace of mind.

Lastly, there are so many things to see, learn and do in this world! And there are so many colorful characters that make this world what it is - including heroes, villains, comedians, jesters, heroines, vamps, relatives, well-wishers, hangers-on, passers-by, friends and props! :) And in each story, each person takes on a different role. He who was a hero in one story becomes a comedian in another. When we have all these characters in a play in the right mix, we have an interesting story. Otherwise, it would become drab, wouldn't it? :)

17 comments:

Aarthi said...

truely a heart touching write Subha :)

Anonymous said...

Hope u remain the heroine (atleast the side one) in most cases of ur and ur friends (the real ones who dont depend on incentives) life. Got 12 more days for the new year and u have finalised ur new traits of the year list. Hmm... interesting. I guess u fear of being busy during that time. Anyway just in case Merry Christmas and happy new year. Any resolutions?

Subha said...

Aarthi, thanks!

Desiguy, I guess I will also seem like a "villainess" to certain people even though I might not be one..:) No resolutions..I suck at keeping them!

Anonymous said...

quite the blog...invariably wat happens is these kinda blogs sets me off to write something in my own...

Prabu Karthik said...

Dhoda, another 'retrospective' post!

u r spot on about 'the changing characters in each story' part.

>>I've cut down on phone talking and consequently, become mentally more calm

pochu...telecom stocks ellam rate kuraya pogudhu.. :)

Anonymous said...

Great commentary on life in journal. I accidentally came to your blog and I am glad that I did

Anonymous said...

summed it up pretty well.. reduction in phone conversations :)
and more importantly, a tad better, would you say, in recognising friends from foe..
all the best to everyone for the new year!! and keep your posts coming!

Uma Srinivasan said...

very well written..I used to wonder before when the "so called" friends disappear from my life, ...but no more, I'm "naive" no more..thanks to the lessons of life! But yes, sometimes I feel sad that the time spent in that friendship is all gone waste..

Adiya said...

very valid statements. nice post.

//- I've learnt that few people remain "friends" because of some incentives. The moment that incentive vanishes, they'll walk away and not care a tuppence.
//

romba correct. romba correct. and the next paragraph also.

wish you a happy X-mas and cherubic new year ahead.

Anonymous said...

Hi Subha,
nice post. I can relate to most of your realizations. The part abt being "good", forgiving.. Like Tiruvalluvar said "Nanri marapathu nanranru, Nanrallathu anre marapathu nanru", I often used to concentrate on the first part of the kural, nowadays I am concentrating on the second part! Wish you a healthy and fun-filled 2007. Viswa.

Anonymous said...

facts of life, in a nut shell..
well written..

Subha said...

Viswajith, danke..

PK,

Enna panradhu vayasu aayitte pogudhu.."retrospection" jaasthi aagudu!

anon, :)

Sriram,

hmm..I'd rather that I don't have any foes at all! I prefer that friends be friends and people I don't like just be acquaintances..:)

Subha said...

Uma,

I am not sure I regret the time spent on certain relationships..I sure enjoyed it while it was good..and even now, I just regret that it didn't continue..sigh

Adiya
Thanks and wish you the same!

Viswa,
thanks! You have a happy new year too!

Subha said...

gopal,
thanks..

Anonymous said...

Hi Subha,

Came across your blog from Deepak's blog....very good writing indeed....read through your vancouver diaries....amazing...neenga adha pathi oru book publish pannalam...:)

Rahul said...

hi subha,
Used to read ur blogs from a long time, but never thought of leaving a comment, but liked this part very much, it looked as if i am writing it myself. Anyway nice work...
keep up the good work. I started writing blogs recently, so if ur free then leave a comment.

Priya said...

ennavo periya periya pechu ellam pesara!!!kalakku