Betwixt Insanity and Reason...

There's a bit of insanity in everyone. There have been moments of blinding range when I've felt like throwing things at the first person I saw. There have been moments of depression when I've felt like an island in this sea of humanity. I've also been known to ruminate on quite unnecessary things like conjuring up imaginary hurts/insults offered me (Oh, what if she thinks I am stupid? Oh, what if he thinks I am clumsy? Is that why he said that word at --------'s party?) and worrying about them.

I still consider myself sane (for the most part). I've recovered from these occasional fits of frustration, depression, loneliness, hallucinations to look back and laugh about it. And I am sure most people go through these phases once in a while.

The line between sanity and insanity is quite thin. I still don't know where that shadow exactly falls. I know a lot of utterly lonely, angry people, talking to oneself out of sheer frustration and imagining the world's against them. I've known quite a few characters who have grand hallucinations and think that the universe revolves around them. Most of these people are extremely intelligent.

But are they mad? Or are they just eccentric? Should I just report such characters to the authorities in the fear that they are potential candidates to turn completely mad? When do people go over the edge? Why is it that of two people who go through excruciating hardships, one turns into a seasoned, mellow person whilst the other becomes a psycho? I still don't know. I am still contemplating it as I read the aftermath of the Virginia tech murders.

P.S: I stole the beautiful picture from Arun's photoblog. He captured the essence of it when he titled it "The thin line between Good and Evil". Thanks, Arun!

Gandhi-giri : Munnabhai style

On a much-despised Monday morning, when one's rushing to work, muttering and cursing on self's lack of ability to wake up early, the last thing one wants to see on the outside panel of the door is a long, trailing, splotch of someone's saliva a.k.a spit.

I happened to witness this wonderful sight last week as I was locking my door. Aha! I was indignant. I wasn't going to have to clean up someone's spit ??! But when stuff happens on one's premises with none claiming responsibility, there's nothing much one can do except clean up the mess. Never mind that it is someone else's mess. That evening, I dutifully took a cleaner and scrubbed the offending sight from my door. I sprayed some disinfectant for added effect.

Next morning, I step out the door and there it is again: the same old splotch on a different spot on the door! I had my suspicion on the two wild things in my opposite apartment. So, what did I do? Did I go and knock boldly on their door and deliver a stinging slap for their unmannerly behavior? Unfortunately, no. I decided to do Gandhi-giri.

I dutifully took the cleaner and went to work again. The next day, I was relieved to see no spit on my door but when I inserted my key into the lock, it didn't go in. After several seconds of jiggling the key around, I finally locked the door. And now, the key refused to come out! I had to pull with all my strength until I tottered over backwards. Someone seemed to have tampered with the door lock. Sigh.

After putting up with more of this nonsense for a week, I figured I'd to do something. So I went to the apartment office this morning and lodged a complaint to fix the lock. The apartment guy urged me to go ahead and file a complaint against the suspects. But I've desisted for the time being.

Lest some of you might think that I am some enlightened soul, I did it out of sheer helplessness..:) There's no way that puny me is going to stand up to two strapping, drunken men. And if tomorrow, these guys decide to vomit on my door, its me that has to clean that up too!

It is at epiphanic moments like these that you realize why Gandhi chose "ahimsa". At times, there's just no other way! Oh and by the way, I am halfway through Gandhi's "My Experiments with Truth". Serendipity? Gandhiji, if you're watching this, I'd like some brownie points please!:)