Change...

A lot of my friends are moving on to a new phase in their lives. Some are getting married, some are moving to new places, some are starting a new job; the common thing that faces all of them is change.

Everytime I encountered something new, I used to panic: new people, new places, new customs and norms; the very high learning curve in all areas; the feeling of being the "outsider" in a land of natives. I never got any mollycoddling. If a school bully harassed me at a new place, I used to run to my dad crying. He used to say that I should take care of it myself. Not much comfort when you are totally scared and want someone to take care of you badly ( I used to wish I had an elder brother)!! Of course, now all that seems ridiculous and trivial. But back then, it was of paramount importance. In retrospect, I think my dad's approach was the best.

I remember the number of times when I had to learn stuff the hard way just because I was new to a place. It hurt; it was painful and not at all welcome. But it taught me to adapt and to learn. It taught me that no matter how difficult a situation is at first, it gets better as time goes on. There's no place on this earth that you can hate forever and nor are there people whom you can despise always.

Change is scary. But I've found that it is the tool that forces us to confront new things and master them. Without change, we are doomed to be static beings. Changes and problems call forth our wisdom and courage. Pain is the precursor to progress.

I am not that wise or old enough to give out suggestions. But, those out there fearing where life will lead them in the near future, you can discover new lands only if you lose sight of the shore. All the Best.

"The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open rain
And always got its share and rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing...
Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees."
-DOUGLAS MALLOCH

I think...

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."- Mother Teresa.

I think we become less embarassed as we get older. If we live long enough, I suppose we'll all become "soranai ketta janmams". Stuff that used to embarass me when I was younger fails to do so now.
Anyways, there were lllooooots times in my life when all I wanted to do was bury my head in the sand and wish that I'd just vanish off the face of the earth! One thing I really vividly remember was an incident in high school. I had just started Grade 11 in Vancouver. I was kind of like a "thiruvizhala tholanja ponnu" (kid lost in a fair). A guy called Dennis and I used to have a lot of classes together. He used to guide me through a lot of stuff and put up with me a lot(You wouldn't believe that I didn't even know how to get to classes right because they had a complicated block system..)!
One day, after class, he came upto me and asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with him that night. I was so ignorant of such things at that time and the uppermost thing in my mind at that point was that I never get veggie food if I go out in Canada. I casually replied: "Sorry Dennis, I eat only vegetarian food." He had a puzzled look on his face and said that it was okay with him. The fool that I was, I still didn't get his meaning and I was like, "you might want to eat meat but I don't". He simply looked confounded and told me that I could give him an answer tomorrow.
When i was going home that day, I confided in my friend M. I told her casually that I told Dennis I didn't eat non-vegetarian food. She was shell shocked and started rolling on the ground with laughter, "You idiot, he is asking you out on a date and here you go talking something else!! I can only picture the look on his face." Well, I was so embarassed about my gaffe that I wanted to just vanish off the face of the earth that night! I thought I'd just burn with embarassment if I even saw Dennis the next day and was picturing what a laugh he must be having with his friends about my stupidity! And I was even more petrified because he was a good friend of mine and I thought he'd not even talk to me after this.
Well, the next day, he came to my locker at lunch with a big grin on his face. He asked me if I was ready to get some vegetarian food. I said no anyways but we remained good friends till I left high school.
Then, I thought I'd never live it down.Looking back, I think it was really funny and pretty interesting. Of course, I had many more such gaffes but more on that later...

Yesterday night, K was talking about his friends network. He said that almost every other person his friends know happens to be his classmate/friend/acquaintance either through school or college. How lucky! I've never been in one school for more than 4 years. I've been in and out of all sorts of places-cities/towns/mofussils.Sometimes places challenge you to change your perspective. The one thing I always used to hate about moving was that I had to adjust and make friends all over again. The change (at that time) was painful but in retrospect, very interesting and rewarding. I've had all sorts of experiences and got to meet different people,places and cultures.
I guess the downside is that I can't talk about friends' friends and school alumni like Kay does. I always used to feel envious when two totally unrelated people started talking casually and suddenly they'd say, "hey, unakku avanai theriyuma? namma senior.."..I think that's a great feeling.
There are lots of people who envy me and say they'd rather have spent their childhood traveling than be in one place. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

Get "Hitch"ed!

My friend and I went to see "Hitch" yesterday. Guess it was a way of celebrating Women's Day. Really enjoyed the movie. Will Smith plays the "Date Doctor" who knows all about women. Helps guys who are otherwise shy get their dream girls. Eva Mendes is Sarah Melas, a gossip columnist. The movie sort of reminded me of "How to lose a guy in 10 days". Eva Mendes didn't look all that hot but Will Smith positively lights up the screen with his presence.
The dialogues were awesome. Some dialogues that made me sit up, giggle and take notice:
"Don't ever lie, steal or cheat; but if you must, lie in the arms of your beloved; if you must steal, steal your lover's heart; if you must cheat, cheat death;"

"Without guile or a game, there is no woman. To win a woman, you have to have a game, a plan;"

"Women always think they know all they want to know in the first kiss;"

There were a lot of other good ones that I forgot. But anyway, you can get "Hitch"ed to the movie for a good 2 hours and not know time passing by. But does this happen in real life? Would be cool if it did but I think not....

Why are men uncomfortable with powerful women??! I've seen this syndrome from middle school till now. For some reason, men tend to view women who are smart, independent and quite willing to take a few knocks as haughty, proud and shrewish. In fact, these sort of comments in college corridors used to drive me mad. Another thing I found was that if a girl doesn't cry in response to some problem, then she is considered a shrew. And somehow, men derive satisfaction and are willing to help the same girl when she breaks down under stress. It is as if men prefer women to be vulnerable, helpless and dependent! Hillary Clinton was viewed as a bitch till she accepted and played the role of a victim of Bill's philandering. And she won a seat to the senate just on that score! Ditto with Martha Stewart. Somehow, going to jail has softened her bitchy image and made her more palatable.
And another thing I find often is that men find disorganized, scatterbrained (at least a bit) and tantrum-throwing girls much more attractive than a very cool, organized and independent girl. If a girl intones in a overly honey sweet voice over the phone that she can't drive her car to the supermarket because she is such a horrible driver and she can't get her shopping done without him, a guy will drop every important thing he has to do and rush over to her help. But if the same girl tells him in a cool voice that she is going to shop at the supermarket, she could pick him up and would appreciate some help, the guy is probably going to refuse.
Beat that!

Krishnavatara

Someone asked me which book deeply influenced me. My first brush with books was way back when I was in the fourth grade. I came across my dad's classic edition of Bulfinch's Greek Mythology. I was thoroughly fascinated with stories of vengeful gods, goddesses, romantic trysts, heroic deeds. In Purasawalkam, Chennai, there was a lending library called Kumaran's. I remember reading a LOT of comics from there (Mickey Mouse, Amar Chitra Katha, Tintin, Archie etc..) Then I chanced upon Mario Puzo's Sicilian. Not that I understood anything from it when I was some 9 years old but nonetheless I plodded on for some pages before I threw it away in disgust! Then came a period of Enid Blytons. I really enjoyed the Secret Seven stories. After that, it was Agatha Christie for a while (and still is , in some respects). Of course, later I branched on to other books.
But if there was one book that really fired up my imagination and encouraged my reading, I should say it is K.M. Munshi's Krishnavatara. I chanced upon it over a summer vacation. I started reading with not much idea. Till then, Lord Krishna was a distant, awe-inspiring god prone to take revenge if I didn't say my daily prayers dutifully (and not eat my vegetables properly!). I guess this book changed my entire perspective about Krishna and his life. Written in simple style, lucid even to a child of 9 years old, it beautifully brings forth the god-like yet human existence of Krishna, his childish exploits, his growth into manhood, loves of his life and his struggle to always uphold Dharma at the cost of many things in his life. The vivid imagery and simple style caused my imagination to fire up and I could image the scenes before my eyes in great detail. I guess I could say I truly fell in love with the characters in the book, especially Krishna. From a distant God, he became a warm friend with his usual share of problems, dilemmas, troubles and happiness.
It is easy to capture the imagination of an adult because by then we have greater powers of analysis, understanding and taste. It is much difficult to hold the attention of young minds, much less inspire them to read more! Hats off to K.M. Munshi-ji for an awesome treat!

There are seven volumes in the book: The Magic Flute, The Book of Krishna, The Five Brothers, The Book of Bhima, The Book of Satyabhama, The Book of Yudhistra, The Book of Vyasa, the Master. They should all be truly part of a child's bookshelf.

Deja Vu

Have you ever had this feeling that you've lived this exact same moment before sometime??! I was talking with my friend today. He was telling me something that had happened today. At one point, I felt as though I knew the exact thing he was going to tell me. And he did!! It was a weird, disorienting feeling. Funny thing is, in The Matrix, a deja vu means that something is not quite right in the system...
Anyway, other funny thing is that V finally started a blog. Funny because not too long ago, he was the first in reviling me for writing a blog. V, if I remember right, you said it was a "vetti" person's work? So, do I take it you are totally vetti now?

When haircuts occupy primetime....

Day before yesterday, LA Times ran a frontpage article about the plight of barbers in Iraq. They are getting killed by the droves by the insurgents because they don't want people to shave their beards or cut their hair. What those insurgents hope to achieve through killing poor barbers is more than I can imagine. I don't see how long it is going to take people to take a scissor and chop off their own hair! Anyways, I didn't start out to blog about this...
Regardless of how ridiculous it seems now, I believe there's a reason why shaving was prohibited. Sardars in India don't cut their hair or shave their beards. Sardars are a martial clan. Shaving causes a weakening of the nerve cells and contributes to a drain of energy. So to prevent even a miniscule drain of strength, Sardars were prohibited from shaving or cutting their hair. I suppose the same logic could be applied to the Arab nations where Islam was born. The territory is hostile, harsh and unforgiving. And wars among the nomadic clans there, I suppose, must have been quite frequent. Maybe, that's why the men folk were asked not to shave???!! Over the years, I guess the original reason was obscured and it became a matter of faith to follow the injunctions.
I don't know. But whatever be the reason, I don't think it is strong enough to warrant killing of another human being.

Digital Fortress

I finished reading Digital Fortress over the weekend. I think perhaps that Dan Brown should be read just once. All his books start out the same: with a gory murder. Then follows a 24-hour marathon of mystery, assassins, powerful enemies, a cross-country dash that's almost always in Europe and finally the uncovering of an insider. With The da Vinci Code, the story was quite believable and the plot interesting. With Angels and Demons, the plot seemed a bit contrived. Digital Fortress didn't appeal to me that much. Deception Point was the worst amongst all, I think. Anyways, I am through with the Dan Brown series.
Planning on reading Anna Karenina and War and Peace sometime soon.
Other than that, life's been too busy to experiment with anything new. My car hunting woes seem to be finally over. Hopefully, I am going to have sometime to myself in the coming week...

Re-search...

I wonder why they call finding new things as research. I was sitting in a tele-conference today at work and there was this lady who pronounced this word rather emphatically (reee-search as opposed to ri-search). If we are only re-searching, then why do we apply that term to discovering new things? I read in "The Road Less Traveled" (Scott Peck) that all knowledge in this universe is latent within us, submerged in our subconscious. And when we learn something new, our conscious mind is re-discovering what our unconscious already knows. Perhaps, that's why they call it re-search as in searching for something that we already know but don't realize..

The magical dance of the pixels

I work with computers all the time. I am supposed to love, revere and praise the computer and its myriad uses sky high. I do that to a certain extent. But sometimes, the observer in me steps outside myself and tries to take an objective view of what everyone does. And I find that we sit in front of a machine all day and live, communicate and work to create a virtual web of illusion. We create software and see the result on our screens. We laugh, applaud and take pride in what we have done. What is it, after all? Just a web woven by the magical dance of millions of pixels. Take away the electrical power cord and there goes your creation right in front of your eyes! Of course, it can reappear again on some other machine or whatever. But still the fact remains that it is just an ephemeral creation, nothing solid or concrete. And what annoys me is that we get so carried away by the technology that we neglect our voiceboxes as the primary means of communication with our fellow human beings. We ping them on instant messenger, e-mail them incessantly, page them.....man, what a sorry way to live!
I love my work. But I just think that techies should step away from their work sometimes and see it for what it is and not get thoroughly carried away by it! "The future lies in technology..." is the corniest phrase of all time. The future is always in the hands of the kind of people who write that technology and always will be.

All Great Ideas...

I get all these ideas for interesting things to blog about when I am busy doing something else. That too, I get all these brainwaves when I absolutely have a lot of work in my office. Then, in the evening when am really free, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. I finally got some of the pictures I took in India onto this blog...
Anyways, I mean no offense but just a whimsical observation: why do fat men tend to be over garrulous and boring? It is a mega-bore to listen to them wax eloquent on the most trivial things you happen to mention. For some reason, even the most humorous things you happen to say become points of deep introspection and advice. I don't know whether their general nature seems to be a consequence of their weight or perhaps vice versa.

Pictures...

Malaikottai

Thiruvanaikkaval Gopuram

Thiruvanaikka Theppakulam

Across the Cauvery...

Fascinated...

I went to get my new employee ID tag today. I was given a thingamajiggy to wear the ID around my neck. It has this breakable plastic connector on the cord. If someone is hellbent on strangling me with my ID cord, then this plastic connector will break and prevent me from choking. It also has this comfortable neck rest so the cord doesn't cut into the skin at the back of the neck. I was totally fascinated by the thought someone had put into designing this neck cord! Just goes to show how much innovation is possible even in the simplest of things if only we put our minds to it.....

Bad Times of India

Mumbai's primary news supplier is Times of India. The Hindu, believe it or not, doesn't have a publishing office in Mumbai. The paper is delivered only in the afternoon. For those who've grown up reading The Hindu, waking up to the Times of India is not a pleasant experience. The paper is almost tabloid-like in its choice of headlines and format. I don't know how you all like your news but I prefer to read my news item at one go. I hate being directed to P8 or P3 for the rest of the piece. It gives me the feeling of a mega-serial. Even NY Times and Washington Post employ this format but at least the quality of their news excuses the format. But given that TOI features Parveen Babi's death and the controversy surrounding her legacy as the headlines, I don't exactly feel like forgiving the paper. Yesterday, the headline was whether Liz Hurley's trousers had a tear on the seam or not. And they had this big photograph of Hurley in her trousers splashed all over the page. I mean, is this what I am supposed to wake up to???? And today, I read a great ode to the Nightie and how it represents the liberated Indian woman (??!!!??). The author had explored why the nightie has become popular, why women wear it to the marketplace, the reasons for its popularity, the peculiar comfort of its design and how it fits the female form.....I really wonder why this piece has to feature in the main sheafs of the paper and I am even more amazed that a writer has the capacity to wax eloquent on a nightie!

Bhuleshwar Market and Phanaswadi Mandir

We were trying to get to Kalbadevi Road but since Mumbai is a maze of one-ways and strange by-lanes, my driver had to take a circuitous route through a very crowded, crooked and narrow street. I had accidentally discovered Bhuleshwar Market. It is like our very own Ranganathan Street, Chennai. Imitation jewelry items, accessories, bindis are piled high on the platforms and shops. Went chudda-hunting at all the glittering, inviting stores. Mumbai Kangan has the best varieties in bangles and bindis. I forget all the other stores I browsed. The saree varieties are quite beautiful out here-typical North Indian fare with lots of chemki and embroidery works. Georgette seems to be the material of the fashion season. Bright colors- yellow, fluorescent green, magenta, aqua blue- are in and the sober colors (brown, gray, beige...) are out. Bold and striking seems to be the fashion trend.
My poor father got carted all over the place and most of the times, he was sitting outside some shop I had entered into. He must've been wondering how he got talked into this. I enjoyed the crowds and the festive atmosphere of the place. I rather enjoy shopping in such areas than prim, proper fashion houses.
Anyways, after three hours of shopping, we decided to go to the nearby Phanaswadi Mandir of Lord Venkateswara. It is quite a pretty temple amidst a bustling marketplace. Then came back home after a good 4 hours of outing. Thus ends another day in Mumbai.

Fashion Street

Fashion street in Mumbai has the hottest deals in clothes anywhere in the city. T-shirts, kurtis, tops, you name it and they've got it. And the maal is quite pretty and nice too. Only thing is that we have to be bargain masters. If they quote a price, we have to start bargaining from 1/3 of the quoted price. I bought a jeans top that was initially quoted as Rs.450 but was given away finally at Rs.100...Anyways, it was quite an instructive affair for me because frankly, I suck at bargaining. I am learning now.

Malaikottai (The Rockfort)

The gates of Mainguard gate are closed for renovation. Chennai silks has opened a branch just opposite Mainguard gate. Two brightly lit, artificial coconut trees advertise the new store. Browsed around their collections. The churidhar and short tops collection is ordinary. Nothing tempted me to undo my purse strings. Other than the novelty of escalators for Trichy residents, it is going to be yet another store. In view of competition, Sarada Stores in Chinna Kadai veethi has expanded his shop to nearly the entire block before malaivasal. The front of the store has undergone a huge makeover intended to convey size as well as splendor. But everything else remains the same.

Had good darshan of Manickavinayagar. Renovation work is going on around the sannidhi. Vinayagar Agaval which was inscribed on the walls around the sanctum sanctorum have now disappeared and given way to marbled walls. New sculptures and paintings adorn the walls above. I preferred the old, authentic temple. Went upto Thayumanavar Sannidhi. As usual, the climb had me huffing and puffing. The temple is as serene and inviting as it has always been. Then visited Uchi Pillaiyar. The view of Trichy atop the Malaikottai is worth having. Looking across the Kaveri, one can see the Srirangam temple tower. The white eastern tower can also be seen. Tiruvanaikkoil is also visible. To the east, one can see the paddy fields near Ariyamangalam. Chathiram bus stand bustles as usual.

Took some pictures with the temple elephant: a playful, young animal. Roamed around Chinnai kadai veethi and Theradi veethi. The unique flavour of Malaivasal mixed in with the smell of jasmine flowers, santhanam, javvadhu, camphor and agarbatthis still lingers in my nostrils. So long till my next visit!

Meendum Srirangam

Srirangam has not changed much in these past 1.5 years. The roads have become more pothole ridden thanks to the development of underwater drainage schemes. The ride from Srirangam station to home was like a ride on a maattu vandi (bullock cart). Apparently, the copious rain of the past year also contributed to road woes. The crowds have increased considerably. I was told that even Srirangam temple regulars couldn't go to the temple on Vaikunda Ekadasi because of unprecedented crowds! The temple is as it has always been. New paintings depicting the history of the Sriranga Vimanam have been added near the Garudazhwar Sannidhi. And a new Devasthanam stall has sprung up selling calendars and books about the temple. Other than that, even the bhattars in the sannidhis have not changed. As usual, I got very good sevai (helps to know all the bhattars around the temple. A simple "Enna maama, sowkiyama irukkela? Ungalai parka dhaan US-lerndhu vandhen..." will do wonders!)
Visited Nachimuthu Stores near the southern entrance and a couple of other well known faces. A new Vasan Medicals store has opened in Subha Complex in Srirangam. This will alleviate the pain of going to Malaivasal for rare medicines, especially for the plentiful octogenerians in Srirangam.
Thirumanjana Kaveri has water flowing plentifully. Usually, this is a small stream with a trickle of water. In my four years there, I've never seen this much water flowing through the stream. Lends a greenish cover to the surroundings. Looks really pretty.
The familiar flower vendor near Mangamma Nagar remembered me and offered me 2 mozhams of jaathi poo at a discounted price for me (Rs. 6 for 2 mozhams. Apparently, it is Rs. 10 otherwise). She even remembered my favorite flower. It was quite gratifying and satisfying to be remembered affectionately by these simple people.
It was just a whirlwind trip around Srirangam in the brief 2 days I had there. In a world of change, it was reassuring to see that my old town had not really changed much. Tenuous though it may be, it gave me a sense of security and belonging.
Watch out for pictures of Trichy in forthcoming posts. More on Trichy coming up....