The jigsaw in pieces...
On completion...
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
A 1000 small pieces are equal to a picture....
A jigsaw keeps my restless mind fully occupied and there's fun in piecing a whole together from the parts. This jigsaw is more special to me because one of the cats in the picture looks like my pet kitten - Azhagi..:)
The jigsaw in pieces...
On completion...
Merry Christmas, everyone!
The jigsaw in pieces...
On completion...
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Taking stock...
The end of the year is approaching and everyone is taking stock. Have I grown in some way this year? Have I learnt some things? Have I changed a lot?
- I've learned to consciously walk away from certain relationships that hinder my peace of mind. Its not easy and often, I want to just forget and go back. But I've realized that its unhealthy and consciously stayed away.
- I've cut down on phone talking and consequently, become mentally more calm (Yaay! That's quite an achievement).
- I've given up afternoon coffee..:(
- Most importantly, I am learning to forgive - even when something's not my fault at all; even when the world knows that someone else is wrong; even when I am hurt; even when I'd rather kick and scream. I always thought that anger took more energy to manifest. I've realized that forgiveness is the toughest art to master in this universe and he who does this is truly divine.
- Gotten back to my Carnatic music roots and learnt some new krithis.
- I've become more conscious of the levels of human resource consumption thanks to a lot of conversations amongst friends here. Maybe I can contribute to the betterment of the world? Maybe I can't? But at least, now I am aware and that's always the first step.
- I've learnt that friends will stay friends no matter what you do or don't do. And those that leave because of something you did or didn't do were never friends in the first place. I know that sounds like a Hallmark card but I think this year is when I really realized that fact! :)
- I've learnt that few people remain "friends" because of some incentives. The moment that incentive vanishes, they'll walk away and not care a tuppence.
- I realised that being "good" (whatever that means), is purely principle-based. Being good doesn't guarantee a return favour. I had a bit of soul-searching in the middle of the year about this topic. I guess we still adhere to good behaviours for our own peace of mind.
Lastly, there are so many things to see, learn and do in this world! And there are so many colorful characters that make this world what it is - including heroes, villains, comedians, jesters, heroines, vamps, relatives, well-wishers, hangers-on, passers-by, friends and props! :) And in each story, each person takes on a different role. He who was a hero in one story becomes a comedian in another. When we have all these characters in a play in the right mix, we have an interesting story. Otherwise, it would become drab, wouldn't it? :)
- I've learned to consciously walk away from certain relationships that hinder my peace of mind. Its not easy and often, I want to just forget and go back. But I've realized that its unhealthy and consciously stayed away.
- I've cut down on phone talking and consequently, become mentally more calm (Yaay! That's quite an achievement).
- I've given up afternoon coffee..:(
- Most importantly, I am learning to forgive - even when something's not my fault at all; even when the world knows that someone else is wrong; even when I am hurt; even when I'd rather kick and scream. I always thought that anger took more energy to manifest. I've realized that forgiveness is the toughest art to master in this universe and he who does this is truly divine.
- Gotten back to my Carnatic music roots and learnt some new krithis.
- I've become more conscious of the levels of human resource consumption thanks to a lot of conversations amongst friends here. Maybe I can contribute to the betterment of the world? Maybe I can't? But at least, now I am aware and that's always the first step.
- I've learnt that friends will stay friends no matter what you do or don't do. And those that leave because of something you did or didn't do were never friends in the first place. I know that sounds like a Hallmark card but I think this year is when I really realized that fact! :)
- I've learnt that few people remain "friends" because of some incentives. The moment that incentive vanishes, they'll walk away and not care a tuppence.
- I realised that being "good" (whatever that means), is purely principle-based. Being good doesn't guarantee a return favour. I had a bit of soul-searching in the middle of the year about this topic. I guess we still adhere to good behaviours for our own peace of mind.
Lastly, there are so many things to see, learn and do in this world! And there are so many colorful characters that make this world what it is - including heroes, villains, comedians, jesters, heroines, vamps, relatives, well-wishers, hangers-on, passers-by, friends and props! :) And in each story, each person takes on a different role. He who was a hero in one story becomes a comedian in another. When we have all these characters in a play in the right mix, we have an interesting story. Otherwise, it would become drab, wouldn't it? :)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
A known devil...
I have a lot of blogger friends - people whom I know only through their writings and e-mail exchanges. I have never seen these people but I feel comfortable enough with their personalities as expressed through their blogs. But when it comes to Orkut virtual friendships, I become a tad cynical.
I keep getting friend requests from random people on Orkut asking me to be their best friend. They know nothing about me since I've not divulged much on my profile. I don't know anything about them aside from what they write on their profiles. So how do I "decide" to be best friends with them? Isn't that something that evolves over time? Besides, knowing what movies, books, food XYZ likes really doesn't make you understand them. A thousand people can have the exact same similar likes.
I did add a couple of strangers thinking that maybe I could overcome this "bias" of mine. I could rarely ever get past "hi, how are you?" with these people.And a couple decided to take it up a notch by asking obnoxious personal questions (Girls' "single" status especially seems to be of paramount importance to even strangers..:)). So I just chucked these right out of my friends list. How much can you really divulge to some stranger on chat? And it really becomes boring when, all the time, your conversations go something like,
"Hey, how're you?"
"I am fine. How are you?"
"Good"
Now, I know a lot of people who are very comfortable chatting up strangers on Orkut and even getting to know them well later. I guess I am not one of those.
I recently got an earful from an irate Orkut-ian. He had sent a rather nice intro message and friend request. So I thought I should have the courtesy of responding to him. I asked him, "Do you really believe in virtual friendships? Is this really possible?" Honest to god, I meant it in a really good way just curious to find out what he was thinking when he asked me to be his "best friend". And he responded to it by detailing what a gentleman he is in his dealings with women, how he'd treat me honourably and never step over the line, how I was being callous in my comment etc etc...
Anyways, so I've switched back to doing what I always did before: ignore unknown friend requests...:) One of my friends complained rather loudly that I might be missing out on really wonderful people because of narrow vision. But I desist. Why? Because a known devil is better than an unknown angel...:)
I keep getting friend requests from random people on Orkut asking me to be their best friend. They know nothing about me since I've not divulged much on my profile. I don't know anything about them aside from what they write on their profiles. So how do I "decide" to be best friends with them? Isn't that something that evolves over time? Besides, knowing what movies, books, food XYZ likes really doesn't make you understand them. A thousand people can have the exact same similar likes.
I did add a couple of strangers thinking that maybe I could overcome this "bias" of mine. I could rarely ever get past "hi, how are you?" with these people.And a couple decided to take it up a notch by asking obnoxious personal questions (Girls' "single" status especially seems to be of paramount importance to even strangers..:)). So I just chucked these right out of my friends list. How much can you really divulge to some stranger on chat? And it really becomes boring when, all the time, your conversations go something like,
"Hey, how're you?"
"I am fine. How are you?"
"Good"
Now, I know a lot of people who are very comfortable chatting up strangers on Orkut and even getting to know them well later. I guess I am not one of those.
I recently got an earful from an irate Orkut-ian. He had sent a rather nice intro message and friend request. So I thought I should have the courtesy of responding to him. I asked him, "Do you really believe in virtual friendships? Is this really possible?" Honest to god, I meant it in a really good way just curious to find out what he was thinking when he asked me to be his "best friend". And he responded to it by detailing what a gentleman he is in his dealings with women, how he'd treat me honourably and never step over the line, how I was being callous in my comment etc etc...
Anyways, so I've switched back to doing what I always did before: ignore unknown friend requests...:) One of my friends complained rather loudly that I might be missing out on really wonderful people because of narrow vision. But I desist. Why? Because a known devil is better than an unknown angel...:)
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
A question(able?) post
I am sick and tired of hearing about astrologers and horoscopes. Really sick. I don't blame those who practice the profession of astrology alone. I blame myself and millions like me who really can't take a stand on the issue. I can't stand up boldly and say, "Hey, I don't believe you can predict the future. You're a bogus". Neither can I surrender completely and say, "Hey, you are so right. I believe you completely".
It does seem odd to completely give in to a stranger's prediction of my "supposed" future and take decisions based on it. What if he's wrong? What if I make a decision based on it and then it fails completely? Would I blame myself then? Or the astrologer? Do we believe in astrology to feel re-assured about our future? Can someone really "see" the future so certainly? If he sees the future so certainly, isn't he supposed to be God? Well, what's the purpose of God or any actions that we perform in everyday life if everything's already pre-determined? Besides, if one's karma is so strong and we can't really escape it, why bother evading it using astrology?
In short, I've decided that "predicting" the future is a crime and astrologers as a profession should be banned. I think its better to just do what your heart tells you and consequences be damned. If that turns out to be wrong, hey, at least its your own, patented mistake - not some astrologer's. I meant for this post to be a more coherent, meaningful discussion on the truth/falsity of astrology. But I guess what turned it out to be is a confused set of questions...:) Maybe that's exactly what astrology is - a confused set of questionable practices.
It does seem odd to completely give in to a stranger's prediction of my "supposed" future and take decisions based on it. What if he's wrong? What if I make a decision based on it and then it fails completely? Would I blame myself then? Or the astrologer? Do we believe in astrology to feel re-assured about our future? Can someone really "see" the future so certainly? If he sees the future so certainly, isn't he supposed to be God? Well, what's the purpose of God or any actions that we perform in everyday life if everything's already pre-determined? Besides, if one's karma is so strong and we can't really escape it, why bother evading it using astrology?
In short, I've decided that "predicting" the future is a crime and astrologers as a profession should be banned. I think its better to just do what your heart tells you and consequences be damned. If that turns out to be wrong, hey, at least its your own, patented mistake - not some astrologer's. I meant for this post to be a more coherent, meaningful discussion on the truth/falsity of astrology. But I guess what turned it out to be is a confused set of questions...:) Maybe that's exactly what astrology is - a confused set of questionable practices.
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Saturday, November 25, 2006
A gift of the gods..
The other day a friend and I were discussing playback singers. Some singers are great because they've honed and literally chiseled their voices over the years with hardwork and practice. Today, their voices are like honey maple syrup over pancakes (Yeah, I made that up. Its breakfast time and I can only think of food)! Example: SPB, Hariharan.
But some people are just born with killer voices. Voices that are just rich in cadence and timbre, that can just hit any high note with ease, that can simply twirl and swirl to the whims of the singer. Just listening to them, you know that this is something they were born with! You just can't achieve that kind of a voice through any amount of practice. Example: Shankar Mahadevan, A.R. Rahman, T.R. Mahalingam, K.B. Sundarambal
I was listening to Shankar Mahadevan sing "Rangola hola.." from Gajini. I simply loved the way he has sung this song. Similarly, I love "Kumari.." from Anniyan and "Merke Merke.." from Kanda Naal Mudhal. I've become a total Shankar Mahadevan convert..:)
A.R. Rahman has come a long way from his "Urvasi.." days. Listening to him in "New York Nagaram.." and "Tere Bina.." (Guru), his range just amazes me. I'd thought earlier that maybe he used some kind of audio pyrotechnics to help his voice sound like it did. But, when he performed live at Dayton in June, he effortlessly sang "Dil Se re..." at exactly the same range as the audio recording. I was blown away..!
I watched "Raja raja chozhan" (Cast: Sivaji, Lakshmi, Sivakumar, Muthuraman et al) last weekend and there's this song "Thanjai periya kovil vaazhga". T.R. Mahalingam simply made my jaw drop in one of the sequences of that song. That dude sure had a voice that could beat even Rahman today! He was probably singing somewhere at 4 kattai (sruthi) and he was doing vocal gymnastics at that scale! I know how much I struggle to sing at 6.5 which is considered ordinary for today's female playback singers. Made me envious..sigh.
But some people are just born with killer voices. Voices that are just rich in cadence and timbre, that can just hit any high note with ease, that can simply twirl and swirl to the whims of the singer. Just listening to them, you know that this is something they were born with! You just can't achieve that kind of a voice through any amount of practice. Example: Shankar Mahadevan, A.R. Rahman, T.R. Mahalingam, K.B. Sundarambal
I was listening to Shankar Mahadevan sing "Rangola hola.." from Gajini. I simply loved the way he has sung this song. Similarly, I love "Kumari.." from Anniyan and "Merke Merke.." from Kanda Naal Mudhal. I've become a total Shankar Mahadevan convert..:)
A.R. Rahman has come a long way from his "Urvasi.." days. Listening to him in "New York Nagaram.." and "Tere Bina.." (Guru), his range just amazes me. I'd thought earlier that maybe he used some kind of audio pyrotechnics to help his voice sound like it did. But, when he performed live at Dayton in June, he effortlessly sang "Dil Se re..." at exactly the same range as the audio recording. I was blown away..!
I watched "Raja raja chozhan" (Cast: Sivaji, Lakshmi, Sivakumar, Muthuraman et al) last weekend and there's this song "Thanjai periya kovil vaazhga". T.R. Mahalingam simply made my jaw drop in one of the sequences of that song. That dude sure had a voice that could beat even Rahman today! He was probably singing somewhere at 4 kattai (sruthi) and he was doing vocal gymnastics at that scale! I know how much I struggle to sing at 6.5 which is considered ordinary for today's female playback singers. Made me envious..sigh.
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Soft corners
I ran into an old Asan Memorial school-mate of mine in Orkut. I had a crush on him while in school ( yeah, yeah, that was a really long time back when I was in 6th grade). It was actually a kind of collective crush. A lot of my friends traveled via the school bus. And he traveled via Pallavan. We used to lean out the window and giggle whenever we passed the busstop where we was waiting for his bus... :-) Our day was made if he turned around and gave us a smile. Thinking back, I think he must've thought - "Oh, what a bunch of cute kids!" - which is really not what we hoped for but then ignorance was bliss.
He was 6 years our senior. We never found out his name until after he graduated from school. We heard that he wasn't exactly, err - pleasant company. None of it mattered. We were just having giggly, girly fun!
The funny thing is I still have a soft corner for him. All these years past and I still giggled when I saw his profile pic in Orkut. He is still cute and I am not in love with him. But I wonder if we always carry around soft corners in our hearts for our past crushes, loves, flames etc... There's nothing like completely erasing these hidden shadows from the past! I find it really weird when I read about stories of intense love turning into intense hate or psycho-like behaviour. How can you ever dislike someone you once liked? Isn't it like disliking a part of yourself?
He was 6 years our senior. We never found out his name until after he graduated from school. We heard that he wasn't exactly, err - pleasant company. None of it mattered. We were just having giggly, girly fun!
The funny thing is I still have a soft corner for him. All these years past and I still giggled when I saw his profile pic in Orkut. He is still cute and I am not in love with him. But I wonder if we always carry around soft corners in our hearts for our past crushes, loves, flames etc... There's nothing like completely erasing these hidden shadows from the past! I find it really weird when I read about stories of intense love turning into intense hate or psycho-like behaviour. How can you ever dislike someone you once liked? Isn't it like disliking a part of yourself?
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Vallavan:
Hero's name is "Valluvan" the Vallavan. He becomes "Pallan" because he decides that being ugly, clumsy and annoying will impress Nayantara. Idhu enna logic?? Adhu Simbu-kku mattum dhaan puriyum nu ninaikkiren. He does do a good job of acting like "Kalyanaraman" Kamalhassan including dancing to the remixed number "Aaha Vandhurichu". But why this is essential to the main plot beats me! He spouts a few chauvinistic, pyscho dialogues from time to time and turns around and says:
"Ippadi ellam naan sollalaam..aana naan solla matten yennaa...blah blah.."
Mr. Simbu, ippo dhaane idhellam sonna? Apram enna solla matten-nu oru dialogue? He has some wonderful, logic-less scenes all over the place in the movie.
Reema Sen looks awful without make-up. But she has done an excellent job of acting like a pyscho. I, personally, liked her performance. Nayantara seriously stinks big time! Yuck.
Simbu, for all his self-generated hype, fails to give a hit. I saw one of his press releases where he praised this movie to the skies. Romba dhaan nenappu!
Music stinks. One question for the music director: Why in the world is there a kuttichathan, pisasu type laughter in the background each time Reema Sen is shown? Surely, this is no Vittalacharya movie. To add to the misery, Simbu croons a couple of numbers. He isn't a bad singer but then, his abilities are limited and it shows in the compositions. There's too many finger swishing, whoosh-whoosh sounds.
The cameraman seems to have gone haywire. My head started spinning after watching 30 mins of the movie. Lots of zooming, rotating,back and forth shots etc... Makes the viewer annoyed rather than entertained.
Jillunu oru Kadhal:
Contrary to reviews, I liked this movie. Jo-Surya chemistry sizzles on screen. The acting is natural and flows. A rather improbable plot but I thought it was decently picturized. Bhoomika's transformation from the first to second halves seems rather unreal and startling. The girl who acts as Jo's daughter does an excellent job! Of course, music pathi edhuvume solla vendam...it was superb!
I thought it was a decent watch.
Hero's name is "Valluvan" the Vallavan. He becomes "Pallan" because he decides that being ugly, clumsy and annoying will impress Nayantara. Idhu enna logic?? Adhu Simbu-kku mattum dhaan puriyum nu ninaikkiren. He does do a good job of acting like "Kalyanaraman" Kamalhassan including dancing to the remixed number "Aaha Vandhurichu". But why this is essential to the main plot beats me! He spouts a few chauvinistic, pyscho dialogues from time to time and turns around and says:
"Ippadi ellam naan sollalaam..aana naan solla matten yennaa...blah blah.."
Mr. Simbu, ippo dhaane idhellam sonna? Apram enna solla matten-nu oru dialogue? He has some wonderful, logic-less scenes all over the place in the movie.
Reema Sen looks awful without make-up. But she has done an excellent job of acting like a pyscho. I, personally, liked her performance. Nayantara seriously stinks big time! Yuck.
Simbu, for all his self-generated hype, fails to give a hit. I saw one of his press releases where he praised this movie to the skies. Romba dhaan nenappu!
Music stinks. One question for the music director: Why in the world is there a kuttichathan, pisasu type laughter in the background each time Reema Sen is shown? Surely, this is no Vittalacharya movie. To add to the misery, Simbu croons a couple of numbers. He isn't a bad singer but then, his abilities are limited and it shows in the compositions. There's too many finger swishing, whoosh-whoosh sounds.
The cameraman seems to have gone haywire. My head started spinning after watching 30 mins of the movie. Lots of zooming, rotating,back and forth shots etc... Makes the viewer annoyed rather than entertained.
Jillunu oru Kadhal:
Contrary to reviews, I liked this movie. Jo-Surya chemistry sizzles on screen. The acting is natural and flows. A rather improbable plot but I thought it was decently picturized. Bhoomika's transformation from the first to second halves seems rather unreal and startling. The girl who acts as Jo's daughter does an excellent job! Of course, music pathi edhuvume solla vendam...it was superb!
I thought it was a decent watch.
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Overheard in the Restroom...
We, the people, need to talk. Talk, talk, talk. These days, we can't even resist responding to restroom vandalism. Although, I did it find it very amusing..:) Scribbled on a cubicle cube:
Some poor soul in need of help: This is a cry for help!
Some vetti person: Not a very good one at that, if you're scribbling in restrooms! :)
Some poor soul in need of help: This is a cry for help!
Some vetti person: Not a very good one at that, if you're scribbling in restrooms! :)
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Sunday, November 05, 2006
Addendum to my last post...
Well, I've had quite a few people disagreeing with my last post. But just to clarify a few things:
- I am not against singing Telugu or Sanskrit songs. I can and I do sing a lot of Telugu krithis.
- I am not a languaget fundamentalist who is maniacally in favor of the mother tongue..:)
- The legacy of the Trinity needs to be preserved for posterity.
- Tamizh speaks to me more than any other language. But hey, that's just me!
- I believe music is a mix of intricate handling of swarasthanas in a Ragam + bhavam + bhakthi. I am NOT speaking in favour of words alone as opposed to a raga.
- Understanding the lyrics and meaning of a song helps me focus more on the bhakthi underneath it. There are people who can just hang on to the raga bhavam and not worry about lyrics, meaning etc... When you reach that level of devotion, obviously everything is rather trivial! I am one of those that has not reached that level of consciousness yet..:) So the lyrics AND their meaning matter to me to help me be focused.
- And lastly, there's no excuse for people who mangle the sahithyam because of their lack of language skills. You can cry yourself hoarse about how only the ragam, bhavam etc..matter. But hey, there needs to be some respect to the composer.
It is "bhaasura/mukha/ kari/ rajuni /brochina/ vaasudevudavu /neevu/ kaadha"
NOT - "aasura mukhakari rajuni brochina vaasude neevukadha"
Anyways, the opinions expressed are solely as they pertain to I, Me and Myself...! :)
- I am not against singing Telugu or Sanskrit songs. I can and I do sing a lot of Telugu krithis.
- I am not a languaget fundamentalist who is maniacally in favor of the mother tongue..:)
- The legacy of the Trinity needs to be preserved for posterity.
- Tamizh speaks to me more than any other language. But hey, that's just me!
- I believe music is a mix of intricate handling of swarasthanas in a Ragam + bhavam + bhakthi. I am NOT speaking in favour of words alone as opposed to a raga.
- Understanding the lyrics and meaning of a song helps me focus more on the bhakthi underneath it. There are people who can just hang on to the raga bhavam and not worry about lyrics, meaning etc... When you reach that level of devotion, obviously everything is rather trivial! I am one of those that has not reached that level of consciousness yet..:) So the lyrics AND their meaning matter to me to help me be focused.
- And lastly, there's no excuse for people who mangle the sahithyam because of their lack of language skills. You can cry yourself hoarse about how only the ragam, bhavam etc..matter. But hey, there needs to be some respect to the composer.
It is "bhaasura/mukha/ kari/ rajuni /brochina/ vaasudevudavu /neevu/ kaadha"
NOT - "aasura mukhakari rajuni brochina vaasude neevukadha"
Anyways, the opinions expressed are solely as they pertain to I, Me and Myself...! :)
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Friday, November 03, 2006
A musical introspection...
Minister Duraimurugan has made a comment that there should be more Carnatic songs in Tamizh. I agree with him partly.
When I was a kid, my parents put me through Carnatic music lessons. My daily commute from Kodambakkam to my school took me 2-3 hours by schoolbus. The driver used to wander all over town before he reached school and ditto on the return trip. When I reached home around 5.30 PM, I'd find my music teacher waiting for me. To my eyes, she used to be the very devil who prevented me from eating and made me shout at the top of my lungs for 2 hours! I'd have a glass of coffee and start singing.
I don't remember anyone having ever explained to me the meaning behind having sarali varisai, jantai varisai, alankarams ,ragam, thalam etc...Don't get me wrong, my teacher was an excellent one. But I was the rambunctious kid that wanted explanations for everything. So, there I was - singing in some unknown language (Telugu, mostly) sans the meaning, without knowing the raga bhavam or the history behind the song. Besides, I didn't have any peers at school who were learning music. Or let's just say, I didn't know anyone who did and we never talked about music much. Film music was much more catchy and interesting and I understood the meaning of the lyrics (for good or for bad!). We used to discuss it on the schoolbus and the lyrics being in Tamizh did help. I don't find it strange that I gave up carnatic music when the opportunity first presented itself to me! It had no meaning to me.
We moved from Chennai to Madurai and my father kept pushing me to take music lessons,
"Child, you'll regret it later. Learn to sing."
I was reluctant. I didn't want to scream at the top of my lungs on an empty stomach again in some unknown language blah blah blah...
But my parents used to listen to a lot of carnatic music. One fine day, I ended up listening to the Late Maharajapuram Santhanam. It was a collection of "Oothukkadu Venkatasubbaier" kritis on Krishna sung live on Janmashtami. I was mesmerized. The voice, the ragas and the bhavam in his singing held me spellbound. For the first time in my life, I understood the meaning of the songs because they were in Tamizh instead of Telugu. It kindled my interest in music again and I started listening to more and more music. I learnt "Mohana rama" on my own with a vengeance just because Shri Santhanam had rendered it so beautifully! I think my teacher would've been happy if I'd applied myself with half the interest I showed in learning this song. :)
Anyways, many, many years later, I feel that now I have a better sense of appreciation for carnatic music than I did as a kid. I understand certain nuances that I didn't earlier. Its not like I am much more knowledgeable now. Maybe, age tempers you with experiences and stress that you realize the soothing quality of music? I don't know. But I completely agree with Suhasini's Sindhu in "Sindhubhairavi":
"Kavalai edhumilla rasikkum mettukudi
Cherikkum sera venum, adhukkum paattupadi
Enniye paaru, ethanai peru
thangame neeyum tamizh paattum paadu.."
[The rich don't have any worries and they enjoy music. But your music should also reach the poor masses. Think about how many people are out there. Thangame, please sing Tamizh songs also...]
Even today, when I sing a Papanasam Sivan krithi in Tamizh, I enjoy it much more than I do a Tyagaraja krithi. A while back, someone asked me to translate my Tamil blog on "Akhilandeswari" to English. I sincerely tried it for two days but I couldn't find the words in English! But when I thought about the same topic in Tamizh, I felt like I could write 10 more pages about it. Sigh. There's something about the mother tongue. Maybe I'd have continued music lessons if my teacher had taught me more Tamil krithis? :)
Regardless of how many foreign languages one is fluent in, the mother tongue will always rule the roost!
When I was a kid, my parents put me through Carnatic music lessons. My daily commute from Kodambakkam to my school took me 2-3 hours by schoolbus. The driver used to wander all over town before he reached school and ditto on the return trip. When I reached home around 5.30 PM, I'd find my music teacher waiting for me. To my eyes, she used to be the very devil who prevented me from eating and made me shout at the top of my lungs for 2 hours! I'd have a glass of coffee and start singing.
I don't remember anyone having ever explained to me the meaning behind having sarali varisai, jantai varisai, alankarams ,ragam, thalam etc...Don't get me wrong, my teacher was an excellent one. But I was the rambunctious kid that wanted explanations for everything. So, there I was - singing in some unknown language (Telugu, mostly) sans the meaning, without knowing the raga bhavam or the history behind the song. Besides, I didn't have any peers at school who were learning music. Or let's just say, I didn't know anyone who did and we never talked about music much. Film music was much more catchy and interesting and I understood the meaning of the lyrics (for good or for bad!). We used to discuss it on the schoolbus and the lyrics being in Tamizh did help. I don't find it strange that I gave up carnatic music when the opportunity first presented itself to me! It had no meaning to me.
We moved from Chennai to Madurai and my father kept pushing me to take music lessons,
"Child, you'll regret it later. Learn to sing."
I was reluctant. I didn't want to scream at the top of my lungs on an empty stomach again in some unknown language blah blah blah...
But my parents used to listen to a lot of carnatic music. One fine day, I ended up listening to the Late Maharajapuram Santhanam. It was a collection of "Oothukkadu Venkatasubbaier" kritis on Krishna sung live on Janmashtami. I was mesmerized. The voice, the ragas and the bhavam in his singing held me spellbound. For the first time in my life, I understood the meaning of the songs because they were in Tamizh instead of Telugu. It kindled my interest in music again and I started listening to more and more music. I learnt "Mohana rama" on my own with a vengeance just because Shri Santhanam had rendered it so beautifully! I think my teacher would've been happy if I'd applied myself with half the interest I showed in learning this song. :)
Anyways, many, many years later, I feel that now I have a better sense of appreciation for carnatic music than I did as a kid. I understand certain nuances that I didn't earlier. Its not like I am much more knowledgeable now. Maybe, age tempers you with experiences and stress that you realize the soothing quality of music? I don't know. But I completely agree with Suhasini's Sindhu in "Sindhubhairavi":
"Kavalai edhumilla rasikkum mettukudi
Cherikkum sera venum, adhukkum paattupadi
Enniye paaru, ethanai peru
thangame neeyum tamizh paattum paadu.."
[The rich don't have any worries and they enjoy music. But your music should also reach the poor masses. Think about how many people are out there. Thangame, please sing Tamizh songs also...]
Even today, when I sing a Papanasam Sivan krithi in Tamizh, I enjoy it much more than I do a Tyagaraja krithi. A while back, someone asked me to translate my Tamil blog on "Akhilandeswari" to English. I sincerely tried it for two days but I couldn't find the words in English! But when I thought about the same topic in Tamizh, I felt like I could write 10 more pages about it. Sigh. There's something about the mother tongue. Maybe I'd have continued music lessons if my teacher had taught me more Tamil krithis? :)
Regardless of how many foreign languages one is fluent in, the mother tongue will always rule the roost!
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Why, oh, why...
NY carries this article on working moms. The poor things are converting business trips into time to relax and recuperate. I personally know a lot of working moms who have had to compromise on career to have motherhood.
Read an article that said Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) is a disease solely brought about by stress and that women are more susceptible to it. Breast cancer. Periods. Hormonal changes. Pregnancy and associated physical discomforts. Compromises, compromises, compromises.Too many emotions. Too much thinking. Sigh.
Wonder why men have it all easy and why anyone would want to be born a woman again....sigh.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Confessions of a Desi Mem...
I eat with my fingers sitting cross-legged on the floor. I like to mix the food with my own five fingers and feel the food in my hands. And no, I don't think its "yucky". For the record, I intensely dislike eating with forks and knives. Everytime I pick up a fork and put it in my mouth, I have this paranoia that I am going to poke the insides of my mouth or tongue with the sharp edged fork. And for some psychological reason, I hate "cutting" my food with a knife. I've been conditioned by subliminal messages from movies, soaps and media that knives are meant to kill, maim or disfigure. I remember Vivek's remark in some movie, "Sapattula ithanai vanmuraiya?" meaning "Why so much violence in food?". I am not going to pretend that I am at home eating with forks, knives and spoons.
I write this because of a recent remark of a highly successful relative that knowing to eat with forks and knives is "essential to succeeding in your career". I guess he meant well because you can blend well with your international colleagues if you can mimic their culture. I am perfectly ok with westerners eating with forks and with Indians who are comfortable with it. But then, there are some prissy desi gentlemen and women who look down upon those who can't. Its like you've committed some unsophisticated, primitive act if you say, "I eat with my fingers"!
Speaking of which, I can almost feel the peaceful bliss that descends on me when I eat Thayir Sadham (curd rice) and Avakkai pickles with my fingers...Hmm..
I write this because of a recent remark of a highly successful relative that knowing to eat with forks and knives is "essential to succeeding in your career". I guess he meant well because you can blend well with your international colleagues if you can mimic their culture. I am perfectly ok with westerners eating with forks and with Indians who are comfortable with it. But then, there are some prissy desi gentlemen and women who look down upon those who can't. Its like you've committed some unsophisticated, primitive act if you say, "I eat with my fingers"!
Speaking of which, I can almost feel the peaceful bliss that descends on me when I eat Thayir Sadham (curd rice) and Avakkai pickles with my fingers...Hmm..
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Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Musings on Desh...
I wonder if this Raga was named "Desh" because of the inherent patriotism (Song: Vande Mataram) it is able to conjure up in the hearts of the listener; Or is it because it speaks to the soul that it is called "Desh"? After all, there's few things that touch a person's heart as his/her motherland. Whoever named it so must be definitely an intellectual.
Some tunes lull the mind into peace and serenity for a few moments. Desh is one such. It conjures up images of moonlight, stars, the Tajmahal in early morning light, an infinite ocean of bliss occassionally surfacing a playful wave to dance to the tunes of a Raaga....Aptly enough, Desh is meant to be sung in the early parts of the night lulling the sleeper deeper into undisturbed slumber.
"Brindavana Saranga" is one Raga that reminds me of monsoon seasons, rain drops dangling on the edge of leaves, rivers dancing on pebbles etc...I don't know what this raga is meant to embody but I am thinking it should be something close to what I imagine..:) Aruna Sairam is my favourite for this Raga. She has given wonderful renditions of "Rangapura Vihara" and "Soundararajam". There may be purists and naysayers who'd cite other musicians who've done more justice to this Ragam. But I feel she gives the Hindustani touch (it is a Hindustani Raga adapted to Carnatic music) perfectly!
There's umpteen movie numbers in this Raga and a lot of re-recording in movies and dramas. The serial "Rudra Veenai" by YG Mahendra has used this raga exclusively for re-recording!
These two Ragas have given me islands of peace in the past week or so amidst stresses.
technorati tags:desh, raga, brindavana, saranga
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
Please help Aditya...
RS has a post on her blog here about a little 4-year old, Aditya, who has an acute form of leukemia. His parents are trying to raise funds for his bone marrow transplant. This is not a fraud scheme. Please check it out here and kindly do what you can to save a young life.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Of People, Pizzas and Personalities...
Started watching "Omkara" yesterday. My Hindi is pretty limited to a few commonly-heard dialects. I struggled a bit with the dialect in "Lagaan" initially but then I got used to it. But Omkara went over my head. Plus, the audio quality was a bit bad and I could neither make head nor tails of what was being said. It was like watching a deaf and dumb movie. After "Lage Raho Munnabhai", this seemed so dark, sinister and boring. I gave up midway and went off to make "semiya upma".
*********
This week has been "damage vaaram". First, on Saturday, I left Cauliflower to boil on my new, shiny non-stick bowl. I completely forgot about it and went swimming. When I came back, the smoke detector was going crazy and my entire house had a charred, roasted smell. The Cauliflower looked like it'd been put in an incinerator and the non-stick bowl was beyond repair. The teflon coating was totally torn off..:(
The cover of one of my plastic containers was touching the edge of the stove and it got melted. Then, this morning, I took a shower and left the restroom door open. The smoke detector, which is closeby, detected the steam from the restroom and started screaming. Annoyed, I threw a pillow at it to ward away the smoke. Well, guess what, the smoke detector came tumbling down from the ceiling. So I stared at it a bit and then shrugged it off. Good riddance to bad stuff. At least, it won't scream at the slightest provocation!
********
I was reading an article about how to be "like-able" amongst co-workers, friends, people etc....I have doubts about how a person can become "caring", "good" and "interested in other people" all of a sudden. The article also went on to prescribe a good dose of "compassion" and "helpfulness" to others.
I have always had arguments with a few friends about the basic nature of a person. My friends say that a person can change completely if the right kind of influence is there. Allow me to be a bit nonsensical here. A person is like pizza. The crust, cheese and toppings together make up the personality. Certain traits are like the toppings on a pizza. If they're bad, you can change them and the pizza is good. But the crust of the pizza is not changed easily. A person's intrinsic nature is like the crust of the pizza. You can't change it that easily. And no matter what you do with the toppings, the pizza is going to be bad if the crust is bad! Anyways, that's my opinion.
I have seen a lot of well-liked people here in Lexington and elsewhere. Certain things just come naturally to them - like being friendly and genuinely interested in other people's welfare. I don't think you can "make" yourself be a certain kind of person.
*********
This week has been "damage vaaram". First, on Saturday, I left Cauliflower to boil on my new, shiny non-stick bowl. I completely forgot about it and went swimming. When I came back, the smoke detector was going crazy and my entire house had a charred, roasted smell. The Cauliflower looked like it'd been put in an incinerator and the non-stick bowl was beyond repair. The teflon coating was totally torn off..:(
The cover of one of my plastic containers was touching the edge of the stove and it got melted. Then, this morning, I took a shower and left the restroom door open. The smoke detector, which is closeby, detected the steam from the restroom and started screaming. Annoyed, I threw a pillow at it to ward away the smoke. Well, guess what, the smoke detector came tumbling down from the ceiling. So I stared at it a bit and then shrugged it off. Good riddance to bad stuff. At least, it won't scream at the slightest provocation!
********
I was reading an article about how to be "like-able" amongst co-workers, friends, people etc....I have doubts about how a person can become "caring", "good" and "interested in other people" all of a sudden. The article also went on to prescribe a good dose of "compassion" and "helpfulness" to others.
I have always had arguments with a few friends about the basic nature of a person. My friends say that a person can change completely if the right kind of influence is there. Allow me to be a bit nonsensical here. A person is like pizza. The crust, cheese and toppings together make up the personality. Certain traits are like the toppings on a pizza. If they're bad, you can change them and the pizza is good. But the crust of the pizza is not changed easily. A person's intrinsic nature is like the crust of the pizza. You can't change it that easily. And no matter what you do with the toppings, the pizza is going to be bad if the crust is bad! Anyways, that's my opinion.
I have seen a lot of well-liked people here in Lexington and elsewhere. Certain things just come naturally to them - like being friendly and genuinely interested in other people's welfare. I don't think you can "make" yourself be a certain kind of person.
Monday, October 02, 2006
A few weekend thoughts...
Finally found a few contiguous hours to watch a movie last weekend. I ended up watching Lagaan. I had a jinx going with this movie. I'd start watching it, something'd happen and I'd stop. My movietime yesterday was also peppered with phone calls and little errands but at least I finished what I started..:) I liked it. It gave me a feel-good feeling. But after having heard years of talk, reviews about it, I didn't have much surprise left. So I wasn't "wowed" or awed, but I liked it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Went Garbha dancing on Saturday. I didn't dance much because my poor body gave way to aches and pains mid-way and I sat slumped in a chair watching everyone else. I've decided I should get a chanya choli type dress. All the Gujju aunties/girls wearing colorful clothes and jewelry swirling around with their full skirts gave me this jealousy..:) Gosh, if there was one thing that South Indians miss out on, its dancing! Our culture just doesn't have this woven in. I was just amazed watching all these Northie Aunties - old and young - swaying and dancing with abandon. They weren't worried about who was watching, who was not or whether they were doing it gracefully. They "danced like none was watching" and it was fun!
I was reminded of Gaancase. She sure knew how to twirl to a number..:)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Weekends should have more than 48 hours...:( What with golus, body-aches, dandia etc.., I still haven't cleaned my house. I have a pile of dishes in the sink (that pile never goes away! It is a veritable "amudhasurabhi"), laundry to be done, a closet full of messy clothes that I should arrange, a few calls to make, grocery shopping.....Aaaaaaargh! Grocery shopping and washing dishes are perhaps the bane of every desi in the US. You turn around and you are out of groceries....:( Anyways, now that the work-week has started, I am pretty sure I'll never get anything done until Friday. Then of course, the "extra-curricular" fun starts and I'll not remember all this until next Monday...:)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Went Garbha dancing on Saturday. I didn't dance much because my poor body gave way to aches and pains mid-way and I sat slumped in a chair watching everyone else. I've decided I should get a chanya choli type dress. All the Gujju aunties/girls wearing colorful clothes and jewelry swirling around with their full skirts gave me this jealousy..:) Gosh, if there was one thing that South Indians miss out on, its dancing! Our culture just doesn't have this woven in. I was just amazed watching all these Northie Aunties - old and young - swaying and dancing with abandon. They weren't worried about who was watching, who was not or whether they were doing it gracefully. They "danced like none was watching" and it was fun!
I was reminded of Gaancase. She sure knew how to twirl to a number..:)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Weekends should have more than 48 hours...:( What with golus, body-aches, dandia etc.., I still haven't cleaned my house. I have a pile of dishes in the sink (that pile never goes away! It is a veritable "amudhasurabhi"), laundry to be done, a closet full of messy clothes that I should arrange, a few calls to make, grocery shopping.....Aaaaaaargh! Grocery shopping and washing dishes are perhaps the bane of every desi in the US. You turn around and you are out of groceries....:( Anyways, now that the work-week has started, I am pretty sure I'll never get anything done until Friday. Then of course, the "extra-curricular" fun starts and I'll not remember all this until next Monday...:)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Maitreem Bhajatha...
I have a deep reverence for Mahaperiyaval Paramacharya Sri Chandrasekharendra Saraswathi. He had composed a song called "Maitreem Bhajatha.." which MS rendered in her golden voice. I've heard that MS always concluded her concerts with this song. It is a song for world peace and harmony. I found an excellent translation here.
Please do read it!
Please do read it!
Monday, September 18, 2006
I don't know what to name this post....
People have an image of you in their head. I consider it more like a map. This image is probably a snapshot of "you" at some point in your life - 10, 20, 30, 34 etc... They make a map initially when they get to know you. And they relate to you based on that map. Initially, this is fine. That's the way I do it, you do it, everyone does it!
But people change in all aspects, in all dimensions all the time! You drift away from people - due to physical distances or some other pressures in life. After a while, when they come back into your life, the image that someone has of you in their head might not reflect the real "current" you accurately. I might have changed tremendously - in attitude, likes, behaviour, eccentricities etc...! If they update their mental map and say - "Hey, this is how they are right now..so we update our map", that'd be awesome! This happens many times and you stay in a healthy relationship. But sometimes, people insist on sticking to their old, worn-out mental map and expect me to conform to it. It gets annoying after a while.
How do you tell them that? It seems rude to say, "Hey, wake up! I am not that person anymore!". Personally, its a bit scary for me because it is equivalent to negating the premise- the person I was some 6 years ago- on which we built a relationship. Sometimes I try to verbalize that I've changed but when they ask, "In what way?", I don't have a clear-cut answer. And what's sometimes even more annoying is that they'll brush away my words and say, "Bah! You're still the same...Don't give me crap!". Denial is the worst form of ignorance that blinds people and the hardest to deal with.
This is especially true with people we don't see often. They don't track your progress or transformation that closely to update their mental map of you. So they are stuck with an outdated map and you are not that person anymore. As for me, I've had a suffocating feeling where I am being forced to be the "old" me!
But people change in all aspects, in all dimensions all the time! You drift away from people - due to physical distances or some other pressures in life. After a while, when they come back into your life, the image that someone has of you in their head might not reflect the real "current" you accurately. I might have changed tremendously - in attitude, likes, behaviour, eccentricities etc...! If they update their mental map and say - "Hey, this is how they are right now..so we update our map", that'd be awesome! This happens many times and you stay in a healthy relationship. But sometimes, people insist on sticking to their old, worn-out mental map and expect me to conform to it. It gets annoying after a while.
How do you tell them that? It seems rude to say, "Hey, wake up! I am not that person anymore!". Personally, its a bit scary for me because it is equivalent to negating the premise- the person I was some 6 years ago- on which we built a relationship. Sometimes I try to verbalize that I've changed but when they ask, "In what way?", I don't have a clear-cut answer. And what's sometimes even more annoying is that they'll brush away my words and say, "Bah! You're still the same...Don't give me crap!". Denial is the worst form of ignorance that blinds people and the hardest to deal with.
This is especially true with people we don't see often. They don't track your progress or transformation that closely to update their mental map of you. So they are stuck with an outdated map and you are not that person anymore. As for me, I've had a suffocating feeling where I am being forced to be the "old" me!
Monday, September 11, 2006
To the brats in my life....
Before you get double-meaning(ed) ideas from the title, let me clarify. This post is dedicated to the spoiled, ill-behaved people a.k.a brats I've met in my life. These people have contributed to ruining my mood a few times and I've had a few moments of hurt/pain because of them. But nonetheless, these people are important to me because they succeed in teaching me a few lessons of life that even my closest relations cannot teach me! :) If you're a brat, please don't read this post since it may contain certain unflattering remarks about you.
The first and biggest brat I've met so far in my life is one of my cousins. I refrain from mentioning her name in the unfortunate event that this person comes across my blog (and also to save the family izzat? :)). To her alone goes the dubious distinction of having the most acerbic tongue, the ability to unswervingly sting people in their weakest areas and attaining satisfaction from their pain.
During my college years, I met a replica of X. By then, I had become experienced enough in dodging such personalities. My association thus was extremely limited with Brat No. 2. Of course, after coming to the US, I've met quite a few more.
One thing I understood while dealing with brats is that its always about you. YOU made them angry. YOU insulted them. YOU annoyed them. YOU are the problem. YOU are dumb/untalented/boring. They are the most perfect, beautiful, smart, talented beings ever created by Brahma (or Christ or Allah).
I've seen parents/friends/relatives condone such behaviour dismissing it as "childish" or "immature" or "Oh he's my only pampered son!" or "You're elder..why don't you adjust?".
My argument:
How can being rude or hurting others ever be "childish"? Isn't a child supposed to be the embodiment of divinity? "Devilish" is more like brats than "childish"..:) How can a child even conceive of hurting others? And haven't these people ever heard of the quote:
ஐந்தில் விளையாதது ஐம்பதில் விளையாது. (What isn't sowed at 5 won't be sowed at 50 either).
The point is - if kids make a mistake, you correct it and teach them the right way. You don't justify it. To my parents or anyone 30 years elder to me, I will be a kid even now. So can I behave any way I want and hope to get away with it?
I guess we all have a brat in us. I have my own likes/dislikes/anger etc...But I know that disliking someone doesn't give me the right to hurt them in private or in public. And even if I did, I'd probably apologize.
Spitefulness is never justifiable. And brats, thank you for teaching me how NOT to live life! :)
That's my rant for now...
The first and biggest brat I've met so far in my life is one of my cousins. I refrain from mentioning her name in the unfortunate event that this person comes across my blog (and also to save the family izzat? :)). To her alone goes the dubious distinction of having the most acerbic tongue, the ability to unswervingly sting people in their weakest areas and attaining satisfaction from their pain.
During my college years, I met a replica of X. By then, I had become experienced enough in dodging such personalities. My association thus was extremely limited with Brat No. 2. Of course, after coming to the US, I've met quite a few more.
One thing I understood while dealing with brats is that its always about you. YOU made them angry. YOU insulted them. YOU annoyed them. YOU are the problem. YOU are dumb/untalented/boring. They are the most perfect, beautiful, smart, talented beings ever created by Brahma (or Christ or Allah).
I've seen parents/friends/relatives condone such behaviour dismissing it as "childish" or "immature" or "Oh he's my only pampered son!" or "You're elder..why don't you adjust?".
My argument:
How can being rude or hurting others ever be "childish"? Isn't a child supposed to be the embodiment of divinity? "Devilish" is more like brats than "childish"..:) How can a child even conceive of hurting others? And haven't these people ever heard of the quote:
ஐந்தில் விளையாதது ஐம்பதில் விளையாது. (What isn't sowed at 5 won't be sowed at 50 either).
The point is - if kids make a mistake, you correct it and teach them the right way. You don't justify it. To my parents or anyone 30 years elder to me, I will be a kid even now. So can I behave any way I want and hope to get away with it?
I guess we all have a brat in us. I have my own likes/dislikes/anger etc...But I know that disliking someone doesn't give me the right to hurt them in private or in public. And even if I did, I'd probably apologize.
Spitefulness is never justifiable. And brats, thank you for teaching me how NOT to live life! :)
That's my rant for now...
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