Doodles

Work-life...

2011-09-27T16:43:00.002-04:00

...balance is in the air these days. Most working, young moms are pre-occupied with it. I've decided there's only work-life imbalance. How minimal you can keep this imbalance is the game of the day. Some days, the imbalance tilts toward work. On some, towards home. But I don't think anyone can keep it perfectly balanced. The sooner I accepted this, the more contented I became as a working mom.

There have been days when I've dropped the ball at home foregoing time with baby G. Those are the hard days when I feel guilty and sad that I've had to make this choice. But work-wise, those days were probably the most satisfying. I would've cracked a hard problem or written some miraculous code. The personal fulfilment that comes from that is hard to brush away.

Anyway, you can tell I am caught in the classic dilemma -- to work or not to work. And I don't have any answers yet. But one good thing has come out of my personal Motherhood journey: I truly, really understand the plight of working mothers from the previous generation.

These women, at least in India, were probably judged too harshly for opting to work. No matter how hard they worked in the office, society expected them to put in equal hours at home. If not, they were condemned to the "bad mother" or "bad daughter-in-law" status. So these women would put in 14 hour workdays, commute back home and immediately jump into making fluffy, white idlis for the folks at home. How did they do it? Hats off to them!

Where is the professionalism?

2011-08-21T22:17:00.001-04:00

I've gotten used to people knowing their stuff in the US. From personal trainers to dog walkers to house cleaners, most people know the ins-and-outs of their business and will confidently answer questions. In the process, they also educate you. In short, you come out of a conversation in the US feeling productive.

In India, it shocks me how irresponsible professionals can be. I walked into SBI on some personal business recently. I took a seat with the nearest teller. The lady was busy writing something in a ledger. I waited for some sign of acknowledgement or welcome. None was forthcoming. She looked up, nodded, started sipping some tea and talked to her colleague next door.

After about 5 minutes, I was asked what I wanted. I told her and her first response was,

"Last week, another NRI asked the same thing. We simply can't do that because we don't have the originating bank info."

"I transferred electronically. Surely the bank will have some means of tracking it down?"

"Last week, this lady asked the same thing. Not possible."

"What information do you need? I will provide it."

"Do you have the originating bank info?"

"Yes, I'll write it down"

"We can't do this."

I was getting exasperated by how this idiot lady was hung up on the problem, not the solution. I finally had to barge in on the manager, who helped me out.

All this leads me to wonder:

1. How does this poor bank manager deal with daily work life with such stupid underlings?

2. How does any business get transacted given this babu mentality?

3. When is customer service going to become more than lip service?

4. Is there no pride in the job one is doing?

I am not one of those NRIs that constantly crib about India. But, as a working professional myself, it shocks me that people could work in an industry for years and not be able to grasp the basics of their job. Sigh.

TM Krishna's interview in "The Hindu"

2011-08-09T09:13:00.000-04:00

In this day and age, almost every public personality gives media-savvy answers designed to build their "brand". There's nothing wrong with that but most people end up giving cliched answers like beauty queens.

This interview by T.M. Krishna came as a breath of fresh air this morning. His answers feel genuine, honest and real. I, for one, could go for that every time.

The Importance Of Women In the Workforce

2011-06-21T15:28:00.000-04:00

My workplace gender ratio is tipped heavily toward our male kind. I happen to be the youngest employee and the youngest female in my office.

For most parts, I am not complaining. Working with men is easy mainly because there's no tip-toeing around feelings. You get upset with a guy for something, you can tell him,

"I don't like this. I am upset with you."

The great thing is you can be sure this will not be interpreted in any other way. i.e. he won't think you are upset with him because you forgot to invite him to lunch last week. It will never occur to him to think you are getting even with him because of some minor tiff 3 years ago. He will most definitely not think you are upset with him because he forgot to say bye to you on the way out yesterday. All the above things a woman can and will think if you happen to tell her off. It just makes life a tad difficult because you have to be very careful what you say.

With men, it is very straightforward. You say exactly what you think and most of the times, they take it at face value. The good thing too is that they move on. Within a couple of days, they will forget about it and it will be as if nothing happened.

But the downside, if you ask me, of a male-majority environment is that there's no warmth, so to speak. Not that men cannot be warm. But they're mostly practical, solution-oriented and never indulge in boring old emotional behavior.

Consider this: when a woman announces she's pregnant or about to get married, (most) female colleagues will squeal with delight, hug her, share stories with her and immediately start planning a celebratory lunch. When I announced to my male colleagues about my pregnancy, one of them smiled and said,

"Congratulations. So, you planning to take epidural?"

You could almost hear a comical, deflating sound in the background -- the sound of my happy bubble bursting -- when you get these kinds of responses. Another male colleague asked me if I had started thinking of daycare. What, already?

The other drawback is that if you are a woman in a male-dominated workforce, you will never, ever be interested in 90% of the conversations that swirl around. Plumbing, for instance, seems to be a hot topic in my workplace. I never cease to be amazed at how men can get excited about broken, moldy pipes in dark, damp, rat infested places. They will positively beam at you and expect you to commend them when they describe how they found the exact nut or alan key or wrench or whatchamacallit to fix this exciting plumbing problem. I usually go,

"Erm..okay?"

Ooh, here's a good one: the manifold virtues of having a big potty in the bathroom. The husband and his friends have beaten this topic to pulp, I think.

You get my drift. Talk to me about books (Why do men never discuss books, by the way?), movies, fashion, food and I would take it any day over discussions about potties, plumbing and the virtues of having a wonderful hub cap in the rear wheels of your car.

If not for anything else, we need more women in the workforce just to promote warmth, organize baby showers, farewell brunches, halloween parties and other fun stuff in life!

Excuse me. I have to go spread some good conversation in my office now.

Goodnight Moon

2011-06-02T15:03:00.000-04:00

The little man is getting progressively harder to put to bed at night. The only way to calm him down is a series of complicated steps culminating in a bed time story. I've been reading "Goodnight Moon" for the past few nights. Yesterday, S picked up the story reading bit in high spirits and ended up doing a mini lecture demonstration on the ills of children's books.

So, shall we read this book, G? Let's see, "Goodnight Moon".

"In the great green room, there was a telephone, a lamp and a red balloon.."

Why is there a red balloon in this room?

"… and a picture of a cow jumping over the moon."

Huh? Little G, cows never jump over the moon. Besides, what cow jumps like this? Feels like a long jumper trying to set a world record. Okay, whatever.

"…three bears sitting on chairs"

Why are three bears sitting like they're in timeout? Have you ever seen bears sit on chairs, G?

Goodnight nobody?! Why does my son have to say good night to nothing? What is this book that your mom has got you?

The upshot of his tirade was that by the time he was done, G was heavy lidded, half asleep. And I had a good laugh listening to his commentary. According to my dear husband, Goodnight Moon was written by a disgruntled parent who, upon seeing all the silly children's books on the market making millions, decided to write a silly one themselves.

I confess I am not a big fan of Goodnight Moon either. But hey, it works with the little human and that's what really matters in the end.

Virtual Persona Non-Grata

2011-05-06T14:53:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, I received an e-mail from a gentleman in India looking for a bride. He laid out his qualifications in great detail and implored me to let him know if I knew of anyone suitable in the US. In my post-delivery, sleep deprived state, I sympathized with him mentally and promptly forgot about it. A couple of days later, he e-mailed me again. Did I find anyone suitable, he queried, and would I mind calling him?

A few months later, another gentleman who was new to Lexington called me and requested me to arrange accommodations for him. Then it was a developer from Tanjore who wanted to sell coconut groves for a very reasonable price.

The result of all this is that I've developed a very complex relationship with my virtual existence including this blog. I enjoy blogging but I can't do it with the same naivete I had 4 years ago. Alas, many of my blog posts languish in draft mode and never see the light of day because I keep wondering, "Should I really be making this public information?"

My better half wisely recommends staying away from Orkut, Facebook, blogs et al. These are all time killers, he expounds. And as additional gyaan, he tells me I am indirectly contributing to earth pollution by encouraging the growth of huge server farms the likes of Google, Facebook etc..which gobble up electricity, water etc..

Gulp. Do I really want that on my karma?

After getting me all confused, S went onto say, "You really shouldn't be overthinking this, you know."

Yeah, right.

So here's my mind, all loaded with thoughts of the earth, karma, privacy, men selling coconut groves in Tanjore, the pitiable state of Indian bachelors, G's strange head banging habit, my ever-constant weight..the list goes on. It is a wonder I can even function much less write a blog.

Musings about raising babies in the US and other related things

2010-12-15T10:46:00.000-05:00

We are officially back to work now. G is officially included in the "We" because he manages to sit in on conference calls with me and even chimes in sometimes with an, "Ah-goooooo", nodding his head very sagely and thumping our home office desk. Yup, that's working life with a small baby in tow.

The Parents left about a couple of weeks back just as I started work and sure enough, we were crisis mode from the get-go.

S couldn't get vacation. I obviously couldn't get any vacation because ummm, I just got off it. So, until my MIL arrived about 3 weeks later, we were ON OUR OWN. With the baby. For the first time. And both of us were working full-time. Eeeeeks.

G promptly decided to catch a cold, his first, to test his parents' mettle. Okay, I shouldn't blame him really. The crowded, sick waiting room at Central Baptist hospital was the culprit. Seriously, that hospital needs some windows and a make-over. S & I were up 3 nights in a row trying to help G get some sleep. In the process, we didn't get any sleep, of course.

To make things more interesting, I caught G's cold as well. So here we were, mom and son, with congested nose and a cough to boot. Poor S was at wit's end.

The first thing that gets chopped off our "todo" list when things are this bad is: cooking. It is very difficult to run a 24x7 kitchen when you have work + sick baby + no help. A lot of well-meaning folks asked us to cook for an entire week and freeze it. Alas, they don't know that both hubby and I have 4-foot long tongues and absolutely refuse to have the same food more than twice in a row. So, we made do with sandwiches and to-go subs from the ever reliable Subway.

We survived.

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There's a new baby store in town: "Buy buy baby". How much more obviously consumeristic can you get with the name, right? Everytime I walk into this store, I am tempted to buy something or the other for the baby. But I've managed to resist most times. There's this teeny-tiny voice in my head that always goes, "Do we really, really, really need this?" The answer is "No" almost all the time.

Do we really need a high-chair? My parents managed to raise two kids without one. If humanity depended on high-chairs, I guess we'd be extinct by now.

Do I really need that cute diaper bag? Umm, not really. I can make do with umpteen bags in the house. They're all unglamorous but will make do.

Do we need cups and spoons for baby? My mom (and others) suggested that we use our fingers first to feed the baby (By the way, its the recommended way too because its warm and familiar to the baby).

The list goes on and on. But in man-power starved US of A, some things have to be done to make our lives easier. So we got the high-chair and other miscellania. I did manage to resist the cute diaper bag though.

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I've begun noticing other children/babies around me now that I have one. One thing that really scares me is how accomplished all these desi kids are. There are all these educational toys, videos, books, audio Cds and what-not to help raise a brilliant baby. And most children here are wayyy above average. They sign, sing, dance, go to chess tournaments, take advanced classes and do umpteen other things I never did as a kid.

But I can't make up my mind as to whether all this stimulation is good or not. My childhood was fairly simple and straightforward. I turned out okay, didn't I ? And so did thousands or millions of other children of my generation. I am not exactly dumb either. So, if eventually, we all reach our maximum intelligence potential anyway, what's the point of doing a lot of things in one's childhood? Are we, in some unknowing way, ruining it for our kids?

I'd love to hear from you.

Currently, the most happening thing in our lives is...

2010-10-02T13:03:00.000-04:00

... monitoring G's pees and poops. Don't shrink your nose, all you single-types out there. Your time will come too. Every morning, the entire household gathers around G as he does his morning air-kickboxing routine which goes something like this --

Thud, thud, thud.
Break.
Suck fingers.
Watch the people around.
Why is everyone staring at me?
Frowny face.
Okay, not sure I really care if everyone is staring or not.
Stop sucking fingers and give everyone a big smile.
Thud, thud, thud.
[And repeat above.]

Meanwhile, all of us whisper around the little guy speculating on when said poop might happen. Why are we so depraved, you ask? We were not always like this. But after a couple of episodes of upset stomach (G's that is, not ours), we quickly realized that if G's tummy is not happy, we're all pretty much on emergency duty the rest of the day. And not all the people/games in the world will make him happy. Not even Eeyore, the donkey, whom he likes very much otherwise.

When the happy event happens, a whoop of joy like no other will be heard from our house. S will look all daddy-proud. And I will promptly go eat some high calorie sweetish stuff to celebrate the occasion.

PS: baby and I doing very well. 3-months old and growing so rapidly that it scares me. There's no pace he can set that will be slow enough for me. I am already missing the days when he was such a teeny-tiny thing in my arms!

Travelogues - Verona, Italy

2010-09-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

Yup, this is the same Verona as in Shakespeare's "Two gentlemen from Verona". It was a hot, sweltering day in Verona. The sun was beating down on our heads as we toured through the city. One thing we really missed in Europe were water fountains. Bottled water is forbiddingly expensive - one small 0.5 L bottle costs around 5 euros. The guide warned us that locals might just pump tap water into the bottles and sell them (deja vu India!). S & I decided to take a risk and drank water right out of a fountain in the middle of a piazza. S went a step farther and dunked his head in the fountain to escape the 105 F heat. Yup, Italy in the summer == Madurai/Trichy during agni natchathiram.

Ancient roman ruins excavated beneath the present day Verona. It is amazing how much the ground level has increased over the centuries.

©Subhashini Srinivasan

Shakespeare's most famous heroine Juliet's hometown is Verona. The house where Juliet's supposed to have lived is in a nondescript, winding alleyway. Pictured right, her statue in the fictional home. You will be lucky in love if you place your hand over her heart and think of your loved one or some such thing. I couldn't bring myself to subscribe to this belief because look what happened to Juliet herself, eh?

©Subhashini Srinivasan

Everyone's a sucker for love. Wall graffiti at the entrance to Juliet's house. Legend has it that if you write your name along with your lover's on this wall, your love will be successful. We found lots of couples waiting in line to scribble on this wall...

©Subhashini Srinivasan

Juliet's window (right) from where she romanced Romeo...

©Subhashini Srinivasan

Arena di Verona, another giant coliseum, originally built in AD 30.

©Subhashini Srinivasan

They were gearing up for an Operatic concert when we visited there. The arena was impressive in its size and conception.

©Subhashini Srinivasan

I was walking past this statue toward the Coliseum when it suddenly lunged at me. Turns out it is a living guy after all..:) How he managed to be wrapped in this gold dress in the burning hot sun is beyond me...

©Subhashini Srinivasan

A modern world gladiator taking a smoke break..:)

Travel Diaries: Lugano, Italy

2010-09-14T20:36:00.002-04:00

Some years back, S & I took a vacation to Europe. We visited London, Paris, Switzerland and Italy. It was one of the most wonderful, educative trips we had ever taken. I am not sure why I didn't blog about this back then. But I did maintain copious travel notes and TONS of photographs. Here are a few memories from that trip...

The highlight of the trip was Italy. Both S & I had such an amazing time there. So I'll start from there.

Lugano is a quaint little town on the Swiss-Italian border. It is one of those towns right out of an Enid Blyton book - laid back, sleepy and very comfy like a favorite old armchair.

We stopped at Lugano for a coffee break en route to Italy. After tasting insipid, watery coffee in the rest of Europe, it came as a delight to my taste buds. In fact, when we got into Italy, S & I heaved a huge sigh of relief. Here, we could get food that satisfied the salt & spice cravings of the vegetarian South Indian. The cappuccino , pictured right, at a non-descript restaurant was one of the most delicious I'd tasted! Yummm.

Lake Lugano, pictured right. We took a stroll along the promenade next to the lake. It was a beautiful, summer morning with the crispiness of the previous night's dew. The mountain sides by the lake were full of colorful houses.

We found two old, retired men playing chess on this chessboard right by the lakeside. One of them said that they had been doing this regularly for the past 10 years every single day. What a beautiful, relaxed way to spend one's old age - with a cup of coffee, an old friend and a well played game of chess by the lake!

Many of you might be familiar with the legend of William Tell. It was one of the earliest stories my mom told me. I was pleasantly surprised to see his statue in Lugano!

PS: I finally have added copyright info to this blog and the photos. I never thought my writing/photographs were worthy enough of copying. But after an idiot copied my blog posts last year, I've been forced to add copyright information.

An Indian Summer

2010-09-12T23:33:00.000-04:00

When I am not being a super-genius, all-cool software programmer (that's my day job), I like to pretend I am an interior designer. I have a liking for and appreciate aesthetically designed spaces but that's where my talent ends. Sure, I can put together a decent looking living room that people won't be revolted by. But I don't think I can come anywhere close to designing a chic, super-hot room that people will be awed by (like the ones they show on HGTV). Nonetheless, we all want to be something we can't be. Soooo, in my free time, I don the interior designer avatar and go hunting for home decor stuff.

I looove all the colorful little, cutesy knick-knacks that you can pepper the house with -- keepsake boxes, letter holders, scrapbook caddies etc.. Much to S's bewilderment, my latest fad is cute baskets. Honestly, not sure many girls can resist handwoven baskets with colorful linen covers inside and adorable wordings! So, every time I make a trip to Kroger or Babies R Us, S peers worriedly into the shopping bags wondering what sort of junk I've accumulated this time. And sometimes, he convinces me to return stuff.

Anyhoo, this morning, I was doing some blog hopping and landed up at The Indian Summer. Unlike me, she's a real, real interior designer sort. I was blown away by her blog and the spaces she showcases. So, if you're in the mood to shop or decorate your home, hop away to The Indian Summer and feast your eyes.

2010-09-06T10:45:00.000-04:00

Should American Women Learn to Give Birth at Home? - TIME

I am a big believer in natural pregnancy and childbirth. Having gone through one pregnancy here in the US, I think I can safely comment that the birthing process is "overmedicalized" like the article quotes. There are innumerable tests, screenings and procedures to be undergone whether they are necessary or not. To make things interesting, doctors here never offer concrete advice regarding a lot of these screenings/tests. They only have "options" and then they leave it "upto to you", the patient, to decide. Doctors here seem more terrified of insurance companies and libel suits than they are concerned about the patient's health.

With that mistrust firmly in place, I decided to avoid a C-section at all costs. I went the natural route and even took a "natural childbirth" class. Our instructor was excellent but the class turned out to be pretty boring after a while. There's only so much anyone can tell you when you've already read a dozen books on the subject. One of the things that the class often talked about was home births. I had no plans of home birthing initially but midway through the pregnancy, I started having second thoughts. I bounced the idea around among family members just to get some perspective.

I thought the previous generation - my mom, mother-in-law (MIL hereafter) - would be supportive of home births largely because Indian parents are pro-natural. I was in for a surprise. My MIL, who had witnessed a few home births, was vehemently opposed. I explained to her how medicalized the process had become here in the US. But she had witnessed unforeseen complications and even loss of life in the home birthing environment because of lack of medical advancements. She was firmly in the hospital birthing camp. Ditto for my mom who thought that while we hear a lot of positive stories about home birthing, there are women who never live to tell the tale.

I have to admit that my fear of doctors and hospitals here in the US was not fully justified. The care that I received during labor/delivery was excellent. Doctors and nurses were very co-operative and supportive of my unmedicated birth. They did not once mention epidural (even though 95% of women here receive epidural routinely) until I asked for it myself. And all through 31 hours of labor, the nurses were so compassionate and helpful that I feel grateful to them. And my midwife didn't once mention C-section since I was doing well.

Sooo, I have revised my black-and-white impression of epidural, medical interventions and hospital births in the US. I still feel like epidural/pain medications are vastly overused. But there's a place for them (in cases like mine) as well. One of our friends, who was aghast when I said I was going epidural-free, asked me if I wished I'd taken epidural early on in labor. I stand by my decision and I don't regret it. If I had to do it all over again, I'd do it the same way. But next time around, I might give home birth more serious thought..:)

Being a stay-at-home-mom

2010-08-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

It has been two months plus a few days since I went on maternity leave. The first few days I was on leave - before G was born - I drove S and my mom crazy with my restless energy. I insisted on driving myself and ran a few errands during the day despite protestations from both. A couple of days before G was born, I took a detour to a bookstore unannounced and got an earful from S about being careful, responsible, blah-di-blah. 4 days into my maternity leave, just when S and my mother were despairing about what to do with me, G decided to make an appearance. That put an end to their high BP.

Being a stay-at-home-mom has been interesting. The first month or so, despite being fully occupied with G, I had this need to get out of the house and go somewhere at least once a day. I felt cooped up not being able to step out and do stuff. But I think I've grown into it. I have slowed down. A lot. Which is quite something because I've always been a very restless type. I am enjoying -

- not being tied to a cubicle all day long
- being able to get out and savor the sun, the rain and the wind at will. I am writing this post sitting outside in our patio, basking in the early morning sun. I could get used to this.
- being able to devote time to reading and introspection.
- hot, home-cooked meals for lunch. I can't tell you how much I hate eating out of lunch boxes which is exactly what I've been doing all these years. Ugh. Takes the joy out of life.
- spending time with my parents and my baby.
- watching a LOT of TV. Granted this is not exactly nourishing, it feels good to watch TV whenever without having to worry about work, grocery lists, cooking and cleaning..
- not having to schedule everything around weekends. Maybe this should make the top of the list. I feel liberated being able to go to the park, watch a late-night movie, stay up late reading or call friends during the week without worrying about work the next day. It feels G.R.E.A.T!

I miss the intellectual stimulation of problem-solving at work. But I've found enough household problems to keep me occupied. Such as the ant-infestation which we can't seem to get rid of. Or finding the best cleaner for the bathrooms and the wooden floors. Or figuring out how to make S's undershirts sparkling white like they show in the Rin ads back home. Or managing the grocery inventory.

Right. So far so good. S is predicting I'll be tearing my hair out in the next few months and will be itching to go back to work. We'll see about that. For now, I am going to get back to drinking my filter coffee as I laze around in the beautiful Fall sun until G wakes up. Ciao.

Memories of school days

2010-08-15T20:03:00.000-04:00

Fall term for Fayette County schools commences tomorrow. I was at Target yesterday and found the aisles full of clamoring, excited kids picking out their school supplies. Harried-looking parents were trying to hunt for the best deals while also satisfying their children's demands.

"Mom, I want that lunch box", said a pouting little boy.

"You already have two lunch boxes, honey"

"None of them have Spiderman though and Carey has a box with Spiderman on it!"

Back in my school days, my brother and I had the ever-faithful, stainless steel tiffin carriers for lunch as did most of my friends. Tiffin carriers were the best suited to satisfy the Indian propensity for having a full fledged meal at noon - sambhar rice, curd rice and a sabzi. Only a select few who always had sandwiches for lunch got the fancy, plastic tiffin boxes. And most of us didn't feel that competing for fancy tiffin boxes was worth the sacrifice of curd rice..:)

No, my consumerist tendencies were directed toward pencil cases. There was the ordinary, plastic pencil box. Then there were the cool ones with dividers for erasers and sharpeners. After that came the really fancy double deckered ones - a top container for pencils and stuff you wanted everyone to see and a secret bottom compartment to house one's really treasured possessions. The really, really cool ones -- the ones all of us wanted -- were the beautiful Disney themed, double-deckered pencil cases with a padded, cushioned cover and a magnetic lock. I was in fifth grade when someone got this to school for the first time. It had the rest of us salivating and pretty soon, the class filled up with these.

This model had all sorts of secret compartments springing up out of nowhere. There were compartments that would pop out on the side for erasers etc..And of course, the so-called secret bottom compartment to house the most vaunted possessions. In my class, there was an unspoken rule that while everyone's pencil cases was shared property, you couldn't touch the bottom compartment without asking permission first. Fights broke out when people opened up this area without askance. Most of us kept our lucky fountain pens in there.

Fountain pens are almost extinct now. But back then, I went through so many pens to find the pen - the One Pen that would flow beautifully, producing exquisite calligraphy in the hands of the right owner and fetch the most marks from teachers. We would scratch the tip of the nib on the floor to make it smooth and produce thicker writing. Of course, we damaged a lot of beautiful pens in this process. Only a few would escape the damage and actually manage to survive. When someone got a Hero pen -- the pinnacle of all pens, all their friends would take turns at writing with it.

Then came our obsessions with glossy notebook covers. When I had gotten to the 9th or 10th grade, the soft-cover, glossy front & backed notebooks with pictures of celebrities were the rage. Guys mostly stuck with Sachin Tendulkar and other cricketing greats. Girls had a wider variety to pick from -- Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Hum Aap ke Hain Koun themed covers, DDLJ-themed covers, cricket hunks and what not. The first day of school, everyone would compare their notebooks and go "awww.." over the most novel, beautiful notebooks.

Looking back at those days, it seems whimsical. But it also feels endearingly innocent, a reminder of days when our fancies and thoughts were occupied with silly, simple things. We didn't aspire to anything great like being dropped by a fancy car or having one's own, separate study room -- things I am told kids boast about these days. Give us a cool pencil case and a notebook with Anil Kumble on it and most of us would've been in Ninth Heaven.

Pink, blue, flowers & animals..

2010-07-29T22:18:00.000-04:00

S and I have been trying to stay away from the stereotypical pink vs. blue thing for our boy. The pink vs. blue mania extends not just to clothes but all the way to crib sheets, blankets, bouncers, sippy cups and what-not. And it is very hard to not get sucked into this stereotype. Last week, we went with my sister-in-law to buy a bouncer for little G. The only bouncer that was comfortable and met all our requirements was a beige-brown color with a couple of pink flowers.

"Are you sure you want to buy this? It has some pink in it", said my SIL.

I shrugged, "This is the only one that looks comfy and it doesn't have any other colors".

"But your kid might curse you later when he sees the photos with the pink flowered bouncer."

S started looking a bit doubtful as he imagined his son cursing him in later life. He looked at an appropriately blue bouncer which wasn't as comfortable as this one. After about 10 minutes of much convincing and wrangling, we settled on the beige one. After we got back home, we ruminated on how easily we could've bought something that was not comfortable just because of the "right" color!

*******************

In the US, boy babies have a very limited selection of clothes - striped or plain shirts/onesies with either an animal on it or wordings like "Silly monkey" or "Wild thing". The colors are nothing to talk about - dull brown, yellow, blue (of course), green (if particularly lucky). While all the girl infants of this world are carted around in cute, frilly frocks with polka dots & flowers in bright colors, my boy goes around wearing a shirt that says "Cat's meow". I honestly don't know what "Cat's meow" means. I think the makers ran out of cute things to say for boys and made something up. Hopefully, G won't have to wear shirts with "Dog's bark" or "Cow's moo". If boys' stuff doesn't have animals on it, it will have cars. I guess someone decided that the male gender can't have anything to do with the finer things of life like flowers or artsy stuff.

S accurately ( but politically incorrectly) points out that G isn't exactly going to care about all this anyway. According to him, this is just the feminine craving in me to buy cute things. Hmph. I don't know about that but it definitely makes S's life easier as far as shopping goes.

This is the BEST-est post in the world

2010-07-25T23:13:00.001-04:00

Observation #1:

Come Father's day or Mother's day, stores are full of "Best mom/dad in the world" paraphernalia. There are variations of the word "Best" like "Awesomest", "Amazing", "Unique" etc...in the balloons, cups, jewelry boxes, greeting cards that the stores peddle. I am all for cute stuff and I do hope one day G will present me with one of these. Call me picky but I have started disliking the "Bestest in the world" phrase. How can only one mom be the best in the entire world? Who are we comparing moms with? Every mom is probably the best for her kid but to claim the "bestest, awesomest" status amongst all the moms of the world sounds rather irritating. I feel like the words have lost their meaning.

Rant #2:

There's no dearth of bad news in today's media. There's always someone dead, raped, missing, mutilated, killed, terrorized or brutalized. And when the family of these people talk to the media, they always talk of the "warm, lively, full-of-life, won't-hurt-a-single-fly, helpful, brilliant" victim. I know we're all supposed to talk well of the dead and I do sympathize with all these victims but I wish people would come up with really thoughtful things to say. Either

a) Everyone in the world is a clone

b) the victim, in reality, was such a sucky person that the family finds refuge in cliches

I guess I should really stop ranting. But hey, I am a sleep deprived new mom and this is what happens when you're awake at all odd hours of the night. I think I've earned the right to rant (for the time being)..:)

the one where I manage to laugh despite serious post-partum pain

2010-07-16T10:58:00.000-04:00

RS lent me Dave Barry's "I'll mature when I am dead" a few days before my due date to while away time. Aside from P.G. Wodehouse, he is t.h.e funniest, wittiest author I've ever read.

Let me just make two points:

- An author who can make a woman laugh hysterically just 2 hours after a marathon 31 hour labor/delivery is worth his salt. If anyone had even merely suggested that I loosen up and take a humorous view of things that day, I would have punched them in the face. That is how exhausted and sore I was.
- An author who can make sleep-deprived, exhausted, new parents loosen up @ 3 AM in the morning (after dealing with baby's 2 hour crying jag) is really worth reading.

Hats off to Dave Barry! Not that he needs my endorsement or approval - he is a Pulitzer Prize winning author. S & I have developed a comfy routine where we read Dave Barry late at night or during the wee hours of the morning after putting the little one to sleep.

As an aside, I also read Chetan Bhagat's "Five Point Someone" alongside Dave Barry. And the contrast was glaring. Granted these are two authors writing different genres, Chetan Bhagat still seemed to fall terribly short in language, style and story-telling. "3 Idiots" seemed a better version of "Five point someone". I started on "2 states" but it seemed to drag on slowly. So for now, I've cracked open "Boogers Are My Beat" by Barry. I am laughing already...

Baby

2010-07-05T17:12:00.000-04:00

After 10 months of joy,worries, excitement,anxiety, discomforts, anticipation, baby G is here at last! He arrived safely in this world after 31 hours of hard labor. It is hard to believe that it has been 7 days already since he made his entry!

S & I are slowly settling down into parenthood in these early days. I am sure it is going to be a fun, adventure-filled journey as baby g grows! And I am starting to enjoy a few things I missed a l.o.t. during these past 10 months -

- savoring a cup of hot, normal strength coffee. I've been sustaining on extremely low strength coffee (by that, I really mean low, low strength) during the entire pregnancy
- sleeping on my stomach. Yaay for that!
- being able to just bend down and see my feet..:)

Ahh, simple pleasures!

Where have I been?

2010-05-25T09:47:00.000-04:00

After a long absence, I am attempting to sneak back onto this blog. No, I've not given up on blogging completely. I've just been busy blogging elsewhere. Yup, after a lot of agonizing, I decided an anonymous blog was a good idea. I can say exactly what I want without people going, "Oh, did she mean me in that post?" or "Hmm. Did she write this post because of that conversation we had last week?" Most of the time, I am just blathering on. When people actually attach too much meaning to what I say and start reading between the lines, its too much of a burden to bear! :)

Anyways, that's not to say I am abandoning this blog. I think I am just going through a zen-like phase. I don't check Gmail every 30 seconds anymore (gasp!). I answer e-mails and Facebook messages with a lag. Where previously I didn't mind sending nonsensical e-mails to friends just to get conversation going, I am now questioning if I should be wasting people's time, server space, electricity and mental concentration before hitting the "send" button. And of all the blasphemous thoughts crossing my mind, I've been deliberating deleting my Orkut account. The mindless banter that goes on in that site is unbearable. Of course, I am not zen enough yet to get rid of Facebook or my cell phone.

So, what in the world am I doing? I've been playing around with my new Nikon DSLR. I absolutely love it! I am part-time consultant to my husband's DIY projects (of which there are many). Last weekend, it was Project Earthworms. The poor sodden creatures crawl into our kitchen and die whenever there's a thunderstorm. S installed some new door sweeps and weather proof stuff so these things can't crawl under. Yesterday, I actually advised S on how to remove the kitchen sink faucet gracefully! Ha, women can be handy too. Oh and since we got Vijay TV at last, I've been devoting quite some time watching "Airtel Super Singer Junior", "Koffee with Anu" and "Neeya Naana?". After the mindless drivel of the other channels, I almost cried with happiness when I found some shows I could actually enjoy.

So there, that's my new Mother Earth avatar. Not sure how long its going to last but enjoying it while it does. So, my dear faithful readers, please don't abandon me. Do continue reading this blog and who knows, my anonymous blog might merge over with this one.

Flavors of English

2010-05-04T08:40:00.000-04:00

Last year, in Tirupati, at a hotel, I saw a sign for wash basin written as "Wash Bastion". Near Bhima's Hotel in lower Tirupati, a detour was announced because of maintenance work. The sign read: "Rob work in progress ahead". Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera handy to capture these choice pieces of literature on display. Now, after Hinglish and Tanglish, China has come up with its own Chinglish. Check it out here.

Lest you think it is only denizens of Asian countries that go about murdering English, there are plenty of examples in the US. Recently, I've been seeing more and more emergency exit doors marked:

"This door is alarmed. Please do not use."

The Godfather

2010-04-25T08:31:00.000-04:00

After years and years of hearing everyone else talk about it, finally watched it Friday night. I must say I loved it! Brando's dialogue delivery was stunning - very understated and powerful. I totally loved the cast, dialogues, lighting and the sound track. I am eagerly awaiting "Godfather II" in the mail now!

It was also revealing just how many scenes/concepts from this movie Maniratnam has imitated in his own flicks..:-) Kamalhassan has also copied a lot of Marlon Brando's gestures and body language in "Nayagan". But that doesn't take away any credit from Maniratnam or Kamalhassan. I still think "Nayagan" is one of the top 5 movies of all time in Indian cinema. It is the only movie that moves me to tears even today.

The Godfather came out in 1972, Nayagan in 1987. Almost 30 years later, Indian cinema hasn't produced a mob-flick that is comparable to either of the above two. Hindi cinema has at least made a few attempts at it ("Sarkar", "Company" etc..) But Tamil cinema is wayyyyy behind. Come on, Kollywood, catch up!

Sexism in music!

2010-03-22T16:16:00.000-04:00

A couple of years back, I played "Ninnukori Varnam.." from "Agni Nakshatram" to one of my American colleagues. He is really into music and very knowledgeable at that. Midway through the song, he asked:

"Why do the female singers in Indian movies screech in this unnaturally high voice?"

I was a bit startled at this new perspective. I tend to think of Chitra and Janaki as just having "high pitched" voices.

"Really? You feel like they are screeching? Or do you just mean they have really high voices?"

"No, it really feels unnatural - this screeching effect. The men sound okay though."

After that conversation, while I was practicing for one of LTCA's music events, I really had to agree with my colleague. Some Tamil songs are sung at a C or D in terms of western scale. Depending on the female singer, it really does sound grating at times. I know I can't listen to certain S. Janaki numbers because it drives me up the wall! Female carnatic musicians sing at a G or G# utmost which happens to be the "normal" range for most women.

More recently, I was watching "Hariyudan Naan" on Jaya TV. One of the girls in the auditioned started singing a song in a lower scale. I thought she sounded fine. Harini (judge) asked her to raise it a couple of notches and we were back to the screeching cacophony. The girl struggled to hit her notes and she was deemed "unfit" for the next round.

How important is being able to sing at abnormally high pitches? Why do composers compose at such high scales? Is it to benefit the male voice which perhaps sounds best at that scale? In that case, it reeks of sexism. Is such an ability even the mark of a good singer? Why can't we sing in our "normal" voices?

Who watches Sun TV?

2010-02-20T08:46:00.000-05:00

We have had Sun TV at home for the past two years. This was the only Tamil channel available overseas. I wanted to hear some Tamil spoken when I got home. So we got it. But, I rarely ever watched it except for some good movies on it. Why? Because it has got the worst program line-up ever in the history of television.

There are serials, mindless game shows, cloying "reality" dance shows, movies, movies and more movies. They debuted "Adaverallam Aada varalaam" recently. The preview shows this guy who injures himself on the dance floor. Prithviraj (aka Babloo) is begging the show's judges to let him be taken to the hospital. Huh?! The injured guy comes up with a really stupid line like, "All warriors want to fall on the battlefield. I'd rather die on stage than go to the hospital." Second huh?!!!!!!! Okay, drama queen, if you want to die on-stage, that's your problem. But we don't want to see it. Of course, its all coached "reality TV" lines. Still, who comes up with such crap at Sun TV?

Then there are the ubiquitous "game shows". First is "Rani Maharani" hosted by Mamathy Chari. It is an insult to the intelligence of the women of TN. They show a piece of some movie star's face and the contestants are supposed to find out who that is. Really, grow up, people. Is this all our women are capable of?! Can they not come up with any other decent idea? And they reward such mindlessness with cash. Next, is "Deal a No Deal a". This is another over-sensationalized, sentimentalized show. Contestants with mentally ill children, autistic children, relatives who need a life-saving surgery are showcased. They tell their story on-stage and then gamble for "life or death". And recently, they advertised that people who watch "Vettaikaran" will be given some special prize on that show. We all know "Vettaikaran" sucks big time but you don't have to show your desperation in such blatant ways! The host guy is rather annoying as well. This was all the gripe I had about the show until yesterday until S said,

"TN state government is sponsoring illegal gambling on the show.."

"huh? Don't we have gambling laws?"

"Nope. They even eliminated all the lottery ticket stuff sometime back."

"Oh..but this is not gambling."

"Why not? You're not required to answer anything or demonstrate any skill. All you have to do is pick a box. That's gambling."

Okay, that was a revelation to me. Is this really true? I don't know what the gambling laws etc..are in TN. So, if one of you out there, can enlighten me, that'd be great.

We got Jaya TV a month or so back. After that, I rarely tune into Sun TV. Jaya has a much more decent line-up than Sun. Of course, it also has its own propaganda machine. But some of the shows on Jaya are truly watchable.

I'd like to know how Sun gets its TRP and what population watches this in India.

Blouse "bit" racket

2010-02-11T12:34:00.000-05:00

One time-tested tradition that hasn't changed in Chennai is that when you go to someone's house, you always walk away with a blouse bit. About 15-20 years ago, this was actually a good thing. I've seen my mom stitch blouses from all the various pieces she got from neighbors, relatives and friends. Sarees were simple back then, didn't have "attached" blouse material, colors were straight forward and blouse pieces were always of the 2x2 variety. Everyone was happy.

Fast forward to 2010 and there's a mind-boggling variety of saris and blouse materials. Most saris have the blouse material attached and women are picky about their blouse materials, colors etc..So, when you get a blouse piece as a gift from someone, most women don't know what to do with it. They've got blouses for all their saris. What do we do?

So, we recycle, re-gift and evolve gifting blouse materials into a fine art form..:) I realized the Great Hierarchy of Gifting Blouse Material during the last India trip. I was asked to go fetch a material to gift a visiting mami. I rummaged through the cupboard and picked whichever one came to hand. Big mistake. That's when I received the lecture of how "it is done". You see, there are hierarchies -- silk cotton for people you like, pure silk for people you don't really like but there's no other way out, regular cotton for people of no importance, 2x2 for someone you like well enough, fancy blouse bits with embroidery and mirror work for youngsters and so on…Oh, and you can't re-gift a material that someone might recognize as having been given at another house etc..

Anyway, I tried refusing blouse pieces at a couple of houses I visited. I said I had no use for them in the US. Who would stitch them for me there? And I didn't have time to get it stitched in India. This argument, most often, is met with glares and annoyance. So, I meekly started gathering a pile of these things and silently handed it over to my mom for safe, hierarchical re-gifting..:)

the one about restrooms

2010-01-20T15:22:00.000-05:00

It makes me uncomfortable when people talk across cubicles in restrooms. I don't know if men do this as well. I know some women at my office who are "restroom buddies". They enter the restrooms chatting away about something and continue their conversations from the stalls as they do their business. No matter that they might not even be in adjacent stalls! For someone caught in the crossfire of this talk, it is totally awkward. Can't they wait until after they've left the restrooms to talk?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Indian restaurants in the US continue the glorious Indian tradition of having dirty restrooms. The restaurant will be all posh looking with low lights, soft music and tasteful wall decor. But the restrooms will be stinky, dirty and out of supplies. Why this neglect?!?!?! What in our culture promotes this restroom abuse? I really can't imagine. If anyone has any answers, I'd love to hear them..

Personal space..

2010-01-15T10:49:00.000-05:00

Any married woman living in India can tell you there are innumerable little nits to be borne in daily social life. It could be a nosy relative who sidles over to your mother-in-law to point out that you never wear your diamond earrings as befits a married woman. Or it could be annoying neighbors that drop in at all odd hours borrowing anything from a couple of onions to your new hot water bag. Or it could be the gossipy maid servant who snoops on all your shopping and reports them dutifully to the entire flat complex. Or it could be office colleagues who keep offering unsolicited, unwanted advice.

Yes, the concept of "personal space" is literally non-existent in a country like India. I learnt this word only after coming to the US 6 years ago! It is a place where strangers can ask the most personal, intrusive questions most casually without flinching and they expect you to answer it. But its also the place where people respond unexpectedly to mundane questions like "How are you?". Some questions/responses have startled me in their brutal honesty!

"When are you having your first child? Isn't it late enough?"

"When are you getting married? You're 29 and you've not found a guy yet?!!"

" What's your salary?"

"I had a big fight with my wife today about our daily budget"

"My wife and I have fertility problems."

Here in the US, some of these questions would border on the outrageous/impertinent and no one would dream of talking about their marital life in public with a relative stranger. Hell, even desis here think twice about discussing anything personal even with their close friends. I can't imagine going and telling my co-worker about my personal problems but this happens regularly in India.

But then, sometimes, I feel that despite the general irksomeness of being forced to open up to someone when you least want it, its a good vent. You don't have to schedule an appointment with your best friend to find time to cry on her shoulder. You get a sense of relief when you've unburdened yourself and it takes pressure off other relationships -- spouses, friends etc.. -- to supply one's emotional needs. And in all the unsolicited advice that one gets, there are some nuggets of real wisdom if we're wiling to look deep enough. Sometimes, when we're facing a major life crisis or event, its good to get all the support you can whether it be from a grocery vendor or from the milkman or from a distant relative.

I am not justifying being nosy. After US life for nearly 6 years, I have trouble adjusting to the lack of privacy in India. But I think that we could all do with a bit of opening up here in the US and maybe even a bit more honesty in our relationships.

Flying In The Age Of Obama

2010-01-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

I've been flying for over 15 years now. But the way the flying industry has changed, it seems more like a century ago that flights were easy to board, flight personnel were friendly and people looked forward to flying as an enjoyable experience. Our recent trip to San Francisco only served to reinforce how hard it has become to fly domestic within the US.

There are the baggage fees you have to contend with on top of $500 tickets. Delta charges $25 for the first bag and $32 for the second. Lots of people have stopped checking in bags and instead take one carry-on bag which is stuffed to its maximum capacity and looks ready to split at any time. Most airlines allow one personal item such as a handbag or a laptop bag in addition to carry-on. But people are stretching the concept of a "personal item" as well. One young girl in front of us had a very pregnant backpack which seemed to contain rations for one entire town under a siege! And that was her "personal item" in addition to another suitcase.

Now that everyone has bloated carry-ons and personal items, nasty cabin fights break out between passengers looking for cabin storage space. Our flight attendant announced that "passengers please be accomodative of others' needs and store just one item in the overhead cabins". Okay, so I stored my rather heavy winter jacket, gloves and scarf on my lap only for it to slide off when I fell asleep and get trampled upon by the service carts. Awesome.

Flight attendants too have become a lot short-tempered than before. The ones on our flight slammed down the overhead cabin doors closed with unnecessary force. S asked for orange juice and water. Our flight attendant snapped, "I only have two hands". And its just not us that got this treatment. A couple of years ago on a Lufthansa flight to India, I rang the attendant bell 10 times before I got one sour lady to come to my seat. I asked for water and she waspishly asked me to go get my own water from the service area at the back. On the same flight, another attendant told a young mother to do something about her incessantly crying baby because it was disturbing other passengers' peace!

Since you have to pay for crappy on-board meals, everyone gets their own food. Some, like us, pack stuff from home. And everyone has to get their own earphones because otherwise, its a $5 rental! I wouldn't be surprised if traders start hawking food and other wares on the flight before take-off.

"Chai, chai.." or "Anju pathu rooba, sir..arumaiyana sapota"

If only the US had an efficient train system like our Indian Railways, it will be infinitely more comfortable. Ah, the joys of train travel in India! Will the US govt. act on it?

V.S.V should stop critiquing Carnatic music...

2010-01-05T13:01:00.002-05:00

கடந்த இரண்டு மூன்று வருடங்களாக, ஆனந்த விகடனில் வி.எஸ்.வி 'ஸரி க ம ப த நி டயரி' எழுதி வருகிறார். இவருடைய எழுது மகா அபத்தம். ராகங்கள் பெயர்களை தப்பும் தவறுமாக எழுதுகிறார். கீர்த்தனைகளின் வார்த்தைகளும் தவறு. இந்த வார ஆனந்த விகடனில், பாம்பே ஜெயஸ்ரீயின் கச்சேரியை விமரிசனம் செய்திருக்கிறார். அதில் தீட்சிதரின் "மீனாட்சி மேமுதம்.." பாடல் வரிகளை, "மதுராபுரி நிலவே.." என்று எழுதியிருக்கிறார். உண்மையில் அது "மதுராபுரி நிலையே..". ஒரு எழுத்தை மாற்றி தீட்சிதரை ஏதோ வைரமுத்து ரேஞ்சுக்கு ஆக்கி விட்டார்! ஒரு பெரிய பரிசுரத்துக்கு எழுதும் ஒரு எழுத்தாளர் இம்மாதிரி தவறு செய்யலாமா ?!

சென்ற வருடம் "மியூசிக் அகாடமி" கான்டீனில் என்ன ஸ்பெஷல் என்று ஒரு வாரம் எழுதியிருந்தார். சாப்பிட சென்றாரா, கச்சேரி கேட்க போனாரா? அதே போல் T.M.கிருஷ்ணா, சென்ற வருடம், பைரவி ராகத்தில் அமைந்த 'விரிபோனி.. ' வர்ணத்தை கச்சேரியில் மெயின் piece-ஆக பாடியதால் அவரை கன்னா பின்னா என்று விமரிசனம் செய்திருந்தார். ராகங்கள் பெயரையே செரியாக தெரிந்து கொள்ளாதவர், கீர்த்தனைகளின் வார்த்தைகளை தவறாக எழுதுபவர், இவர்களெல்லாம் வித்வான்களை விமரிசனம் செய்வது மிக அபத்தம்! வி.எஸ்.வி கர்நாடக சங்கீதத்தைப் பற்றி எழுதுவதை நிறுத்தி விடுவது நல்லது.

Two things..

2009-12-22T21:05:00.002-05:00

Avatar 3D:

It has been many years since I gaped slack-jawed and open mouthed at a movie. Those "awed" moments were in my childhood when I was stunned by anything novel. Not many things can jolt me today. But, I came out of Avatar feeling like I was 10 again -- awed, amused, entertained and contented. Thanks to James Cameron for that.. :)

T.M. Krishna in Margazhi Mahotsavam:

After listening to Kalyani, Sankarabharanam, Thodi and Bhairavi over a thousand times in many different concerts, it takes something quite extra-ordinary in a singer to make an audience appreciate a ragam as if new. T.M. Krishna managed that. His Kalyani was truly most sublime. The "Chinnanjiru Kiliye" rendition in Chala Nattai, Hamir Kalyani, Huseni & Subhapanthuvarali was a breath of fresh mountain air. He brought out the beauty of the vivaadhi swarams in Chala Nattai stunningly! Bliss. Thanks to Jaya TV for broadcasting this.

Kurma getting ready..

2009-12-03T19:51:00.004-05:00

What ifs...

2009-12-01T09:58:00.001-05:00

My man has a problem with hypothetical questions. I think many men do. Its like God has turned off the "What if.." switch in men's brains. Which is just fine with me because I don't think it would be fun to have another person in the house come up with crazy scenarios all the time. But it sure would be nice if he answers my hypotheticals..:)

One of our first fights was -- believe it or not -- about Angelina Jolie. I was browsing "People" magazine at a supermarket checkout line.

"Angelina Jolie seems to have such a fun life with lots of travel! How cool is that. Would you like to be Angelina Jolie?"

S gave me a blank stare.

"What? What would you do if you were Angelina Jolie?"

"But I am not Jolie."

"Yeah, I know. But imagine: what if you could live Angelina Jolie's life for one day. What would you do?"

S decided to be mulishly stubborn.

"But I am not Angelina Jolie. I don't want to be."

"Ack. Just imagine you are..I know you're not."

"I can't imagine something like this."

"Why not?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? Can you imagine being someone else -- like maybe Gandhi?"

"No. I am S. I don't want to be anyone else. I can't imagine being anyone else."

Okay. I thought that was a very conceited answer. So you can imagine the conversation went south after that point. I accused him of being unimaginative and he told me I was crazy. This was 4 years ago.

Yesterday, we were watching "Monsters Vs. Aliens" featuring a 50 ft woman called "Gynormica". Her boyfriend dumps her because she becomes a 50 ft freak. So I turned to Sujan and said,

"Will you dump me if I become 50 ft tall?"

"I refuse to answer that question."

"Why? Its a simple question. All you have to do say is 'No, honey, I'll never, ever dump you'."

"I refuse to answer that question because its improbably stupid and its not funny."

"But why? What if I get hit by a meteorite tomorrow and become radioactive or something?"

Silence.

Why do I even try? Grrr. Ack. Thbbbtt.

Gallery Hop..

2009-11-21T20:42:00.005-05:00

A friend has been telling me for quite some time about "Gallery Hop" nights in downtown Lexington. On these select nights, Lexington's downtown art galleries are all free to the public for viewing. As my friend said, it is the one night in Lex "where you feel like you're in a cool big city". My social life being rather abysmal right now, I decided it wouldn't hurt to be "hip" and see some faces. So off we went yesterday night to downtown Lexington.

We first walked into a gallery right off the public library in downtown. They had a series of pictures of people working in different professions in Ecuador. S and I had a "Kadhala Kadhala"-esque moment. We stared at all the different pictures pretending to see some deeper meaning all the while wondering why this was "artsy". Finally, as we exited the gallery, we caught the title of the display -- "Vanishing professions of Ecuador". Ah, ok. Made much more sense.

The next stop was the Lexington Downtown Arts Center. They had a few cute wooden doll exhibits and more modernistic art which I failed to grasp. It was only when we walked into the "Alfa Alfa " restaurant that we could finally relate something.. :p The food was home-made, hot and delicious! We had a sumptuous dinner and returned back home.

2009-11-18T11:29:00.005-05:00

Last night, on Jaya TV, I was watching Actor Sarangapani in the v.v.old movie "Penn" sing "Pennai nambaadhe" rather loudly. The song was pretty funny and Sarangapani even did a Vadivelu-esque dance step that had me howling with laughter. It was only when he got to the line, "இந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே, சந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே" that all my feminist instincts were roused. I've heard this saying many times and absorbed it without question. I never had paused to actually contemplate the meaning behind it until yesterday night.

When Parimalam of Big Street woefully reported that her elder brother had eloped with a mechanic's daughter and her father was up to his neck in gambling debts, people were quick to point fingers at her mom and her supposed ineptitude in holding the house together. After all, they said, "இந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே, சந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே." When my father's cousins drove out their parents, frittered away all their wealth on movies/racing and were reduced to penury, everyone in my father's family blamed the extravagance of their cousins' wives. My father shook his head and said you-know-what.

Now, onto the actual saying itself. In mythology, Chandiran (the moon god) and Indiran (God of the devas) are notorious for often falling into stupid escapades, getting cursed by an irate rishi/powerful demi-god and spending centuries waiting for redemption. In fact, without these two characters, Indian mythology would have a dearth of colorful stories. But the kicker is this. If Indiran decides to fall in love with an innocent rishi patni (Rishi's wife) who happened to be minding her own business, how, pray, is it the fault of the woman?! Note that Indiran is supposed to have a harem of thousands and thousands of women. Similarly, if Chandiran can't keep his roving eye under control and gets cursed by some irate husband, how fair is it to blame the woman? It seems to me that Indiran and Chandiran brought about their own downfall.

The reason it irked me so much is that even today, we see cases where a woman gets blamed for dressing "provocatively" and thereby inviting harassment. The offender gets away with a slap on the wrist whereas the woman gets a big lecture on being a "bharatiya naari". I've heard of similar dispensations in cases of eve-teasing in Chennai. Colleges advise that women shouldn't wear salwar kameez or churidhars lest they "provoke" lust in men. I am sure those rishi patnis and other virtuous women of yore wore extremely modest clothing but that didn't prevent Indiran/Chandiran from indulging their libido, did it?

I think its funny how the "blame-it-on-the-woman" game has been on-going since god-knows-when. From families falling into financial ruin to dysfunctional families to men having affairs, everything gets blamed on the woman. And we continue to propagate it with all these seemingly innocuous sayings like, "இந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே, சந்திரன் கெட்டதும் பெண்ணாலே." Maybe, we should encourage men to take responsibility for their own actions by saying,

இந்திரன் கெட்டதும் தன்னாலே, சந்திரன் கெட்டதும் தன்னாலே.

Real me Vs. Blog me..

2009-10-28T16:33:00.002-04:00

My husband tells me that I have a personality that invites weird questions/observations from people. Everything's fine and dandy in my world when my virtual life and my "real" life don't intersect. But when there's some overlap, it gets a bit zany. People feel like they know me real well because of my blog. I suppose people get a bit disappointed when they find that "real" me is not as fun as "blog" me.

"I thought you would be really gregarious. But you're not."

"Ummm..I am always like this. It takes time for me to warm up to people. "

"Why?"

The "why" always gets me. Would anyone ask the same question of S? No. Hmph.

"I guess I am a reserved person. I don't talk much in person until I know them real well.."

"No, you're not. I've read all your blogs and you are very out going."

Oh boy.

"Erm..yeah, I am. But I've met you in person for only 5 minutes.."

Hehe. Weak laugh. Now I feel like I am Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. Full of conceit and disdain.

"So..what's up?"

"Umm...."

When under pressure to talk, I can barely think of anything meaningful. Has this ever happened to anyone? For god's sake, I can't even make some comment about the weather! Ugh.

"Hmph. You put out all these personal things on your blog but you won't talk to me in person? I think you're being very rude to me."

Mental head-thunk. How do I get into these conversations?

"NO! I am not being rude..."

"So your blogs are not the true you?"

"Well, they are...but I get to selectively post what I want there..which may have misled you.."

"You're a false woman."

That does it. What does a "false woman" even mean? Is it like "false teeth" or something?

I start talking weird gibberish because I am under pressure to talk. Which only goes to re-inforce the opinion that I've lost my marbles. No way to build a good readership.

Guilty pleasures..

2009-10-24T19:17:00.003-04:00

Not sure if anyone out there is wondering why I've been absent from blogosphere for quite sometime. But if you are, then here's the answer:

It has been an early winter in Lexington. I've been huddling inside with good books and movies. Having exhausted good chick-lit reads quite some time back, I strolled into the library for something new. "Finger Lickin' Fifteen" seemed to be a rather interesting title. Plus the cover was a beautiful, bright orange and I needed something bright to offset the gloom of winter. I fell so in love with the book, I started backtracking to the first 14 books in the Stephanie Plum series by Evanovich!

This series will not win any prizes for literary excellence. Nor will it wring your heart with moving stories set in war-torn nations. It most definitely will not rock your world with beautiful prose or poetry. But if you are like me and love a feisty heroine who muddles through life as a bounty hunter bouncing from one humorous adventure to another, this is the book for you! I am on #6 of the series now and I still have 9 more to go. Perfect to cuddle up on the couch with on cold, wintry evenings. Yummmm.

Female dumpers..

2009-10-06T16:55:00.002-04:00

I was recently at a gathering where I ran into an old acquaintance. Back when I got to know her, she was living with her boyfriend and they were going steady. Both of them are now happily married to other people. The nub happens to be in the fact that she dumped her boyfriend who was well-liked by most of their common friends. So as the dumper, she became the villainess of the piece in their friends' eyes.

So, at this party I went to, the air was rife with awkwardness. Everyone was trying to avoid talking of her ex, her recent wedding, her husband etc.. I tried to initiate conversation but she was very guarded in her replies. She obviously thought (so would I) that I was judging her for her past actions. I wasn't but I generally get very awkward in a generally awkward atmosphere. I am not one of those people who can break the ice by saying something hilarious.

Anyway, I felt really, really sorry for her. I think it takes great courage to walk out of a relationship. The longer the relationship, the harder it becomes. But I respect her for the fact that she knew her own mind, decided that something wasn't working and was bold enough to find someone else.

It got me thinking if society treats female dumpers a bit more harshly. If a man dumps a woman, most people regret the fact, feel sorry for the woman and then move on. People might think the guy is an #@$ but they give him the benefit of the doubt. But if the woman is the dumper, then there are all these whispers of, "What kind of a woman is she to dump a guy after x years? What kind of morals does she have?"

Totally unfair but then, women get the wrong end of the stick most of the time anyway..

Little Miss Sunshine

2009-09-24T10:06:00.000-04:00

I am the Queen of the Netflix queue in our house. Since S doesn't bother to create/manage online accounts and suggest movies, I get to have all the fun. To his credit, he rarely ever protests about any movie I get. God-given tremendous patience stands him in good stead while watching movies and it is I that usually ends up walking away from a boring movie mid-way through.

I marketed "Little Miss Sunshine" as a comedy movie. It got two Oscars and I saw some good reviews online. Figured it would be a nice evening watch. 20 minutes into the movie, S and J were staring me down asking me what in the world made this a "comedy" movie?!! S said that he only found the movie pathetic, not funny. I turned around for support and found my father staring very intently at the TV screen, hands crossed, brows drawn in concentration.

"Appa, don't you find this funny?"

"I haven't understood a single dialogue in this movie for the past 20 minutes.I am staring at the screen in the hopes I'll get at least a single dialogue before I go to bed."

Doh. Okay. No luck there. Soon S and J bailed out too.

I finally managed to finish the movie yesterday. I have to admit that it wasn't an out-and-out, laugh-out-loud funny movie. It is dark humor all the way through. But watching the antics of the characters on screen, I couldn't help chuckling a couple of times. But toward the end, I was more disturbed and shocked than anything else.

The story revolves around little Olive Hoover. She has a dysfunctional family with a foul-mouthed grandpa, an aggressive father who wants to win at any cost, a homosexual uncle who is recovering from a suicide attempt and a Nietzche-reading brother who has sworn a vow of silence until he becomes a pilot. Olive herself dreams of becoming a beauty queen and the entire family drives her to one such contest called "Little Miss Sunshine".

The final few scenes showed how beauty contests for young children work. It was awful to watch 7 year old kids made up like adults, doing adult-like moves and even looking like them! One of the contestant girls had exactly a doll face (I swear. No exaggeration. It was like watching the doll in "Child's Play" come alive!). And I positively squirmed when Olive decides to do a pseudo strip-tease dance on stage. Ugh.

So, anyway, if you're just looking for a fun movie to watch, please don't pick "Little Miss Sunshine". If you want to get a good dose of reality, then watch this movie.

Birthday..

2009-09-23T16:42:00.003-04:00

I don't get terribly excited about birthdays. But this year was special because, after a gap of nearly 8 years, my parents and my brother were all around in-person for my birthday. S baked a lovely upside-down pineapple cake which came out totally fluffy and yummy. And he gave me an exquisite, hand-carved gift that took him many hours to finish! This is the most creative gift yet that I've received from him. Thanks, S ! :)

Chithi, serials and the like..

2009-09-17T16:36:00.001-04:00

"Chithi" -- the mega-serial -- marked a watershed moment in Tamil TV serials going from good to tolerable to absolutely nonsensical. There was much hullabaloo in Srirangam when this serial started airing in 1999 (?). The ads had been showing for a good month before the launch and everyone was terribly excited seeing the Srirangam temple elephant in the title song. Folks living in Mainguard gate were enthralled with the shots of Malaikottai and Cauvery. All-in-all, many people in Trichy were going to be glued to the TV come premiere-night.

Rumors floated around that the entire serial was set in Srirangam. My cousin came home with news that her friend's house in East Chithirai Street had been used for filming the first few episodes. Both of us made a slight detour to the said house during one of our shopping trips. We were terribly excited!

Anyway, the serial was good enough for the first few episodes. After that, CJ Bhaskar or someone else decided that the public had no brains and started dishing out crap. Of course, many more crappy serials followed.

The reason for this post is not weepy Tamil soaps but rather, another class of TV serials that seem to be extinct now. I had long ago given up hope on serials until S suggested watching "Rudhra Veenai". I was sceptical initially but started watching anyway. I was totally thrilled with the direction, screenplay and the story! "Marma Desam" and "Vidaadhu Karuppu" followed on my list. Director Naga has done such an excellent job with the lighting, plot, casting and dialogues!

Watching the series made me wonder how we made the descent from the likes of "Marma Desam" into crappy serials like "Selvi". When I was growing up, we used to watch "Kaiyalavu Manasu.." and "Vanna Kolangal" regularly. There were many more classy serials the names of which I can't remember right now. Why are comedy/mystery stories not a main course in the serial fare today? Where have all the good directors gone? Where are all the good stories? Just like they have competitions these days for singing, dancing etc.., someone ought to come up with a forum that'll let directors with innovative story ideas showcase their wares. There's no telling but what in 20 years, I might be sitting at home during the day and I definitely demand better entertainment than weepy soaps! :)

Phaeton...

2009-09-01T17:44:00.005-04:00

There was a phase during my adolescence when I was on a steady diet of Regency novels. Long before I had even heard the term "chick-lit", I devoured novels by the Queen of 19th century chick-lit -- Georgette Heyer. Set in London or its surroundings, Heyer's heroines are always stylish, witty, adventurous and defiant of 19th century notions of female propriety. One of the ultimate acts of defiance that a stylish 19th century female could conceive of was to drive a perch Phaeton. Considered highly unsuitable for women, it was considered an act of ultimate skill to be able to drive one without overturning it. Not having Google at my disposal then, it was left to my imagination to conjure up what a phaeton might look like and how daring someone might look driving it! Over the course of years, my imagination had built this up to Herculean proportions and I started to believe that someone driving a Phaeton had attained janma sabalyam.

I finally found a real phaeton last week at the Kentucky Horse Park. I was a teeny tiny bit disappointed because it looked so timid and normal -- nothing compared to my wild conjectures. I suppose this is what you get when you hit stark reality as opposed to the luxury of imagination :-)

At Tweet's end..

2009-08-26T09:43:00.002-04:00

I created a Twitter account 3 years ago when I was in one of these "Sign up now!" frenzies. I posted exactly two messages on Twitter when I joined --- "Hi" and "sdfsdf" (or some garbage of that sort). Then I promptly forgot about Twitter. Recently, I have been getting a spate of e-mails about people following me on Twitter. My curiosity piqued, I decided to actually login to Twitter and see how many followers I had. And lo behold, I found that my Twitter account was suspended for wrongful use.

Dutifully, I sent an e-mail to Twitter's support desk telling them that seeing as how I had entered only two messages in the span of two years, I couldn't have really "abused" the system. I got this back:

Twitter suspends accounts for Terms of Service violations or spam investigation. Please review our policies for more detailed information:
http://help.twitter.com/forums/26257/entries

If you are suspended, it's most likely for one or more of these reasons::

User Abuse
* a large number of people block the profile or write in with spam complaints
* aggressive following
* imbalanced ratio: the number of followers is small compared to number of people following
* misuse of the reply feature
* updates consist of duplicate links and/or text
* updates consist mainly of links and not personal updates
* updates consist of updates poached from others' timelines, passed off as one's own

Technical Abuse
* updates consist of links pointing to phishing sites, malware, or other harmful material
* a large number of accounts is created in a short amount of time
* an account is identified as belonging to a spam cluster

Huh. Okay. I e-mailed them back saying none of the above would apply to me because I've barely used the account. Haven't heard back. I am righteously miffed now!

the four corners of the sky

2009-08-19T21:27:00.003-04:00

For the first time in my life, I had to race to finish a book before the library due date. I have had an awesome two weeks now with my parents visiting. Between eating hearty meals, weekend visits to nearby attractions and hectic work schedules, it was quite a challenge to finish the 14-day book loan.

The book revolves around Anne P. Goode's troubled relationship with her father. Everything in her life is defined by that one relationship. So when her father calls out of the blue with a dying wish, Annie is left in a dilemma. The story moves at a thrilling pace after that. But more than the story itself, I enjoyed the author's stylish writing. His character sketches are so lively, rich in detail and endearing that they will linger in my memory for quite some time.

An extremely good read if you are looking for something funny and charming. I am moving onto "Farm City" by Novella Carpenter now.

Random question

2009-08-11T09:43:00.001-04:00

In India, I don't have technology addiction -- the need to constantly have a cell phone near me, to check Facebook every 10 minutes, refresh my Gmail inbox every 5 minutes and read every single blog I am subscribed to. It seems easy to switch off, stay off and I don't miss it so much. But, here in the US, it feels like a part of my life is missing if I don't do these things. Why?

Twenties Girl

2009-08-02T08:28:00.006-04:00

I finished reading "Twenties Girl" by Sophie Kinsella last week. As is usual with Kinsella books, I wolfed it down giggling and laughing throughout. As I finished the book, I was reminded of another "twenties girl" in my life.

This time, during my India trip, I managed to find this picture of my paatti ensconced within the folds of an ancient album. My grandma showed this to me when I was about 7 during a summer visit. I can still remember the shine in her eyes, face agog with excitement wreathed in a wide grin as she recalled this triumphant moment from her youth. Her eldest brother had returned from South Africa with a novel "thing" that could take still pictures. She was one of the first people in Sivaramapuram to be photographed much to the envy of her neighbors. Most people had not seen or even heard of a camera in the 1920s!

So there she is, my grandma, when she was around 18 standing in the thaazhvaaram of her family home. Old age has gotten to her these days and she can't move about much. But she still happens to be one of the most colorful, feisty and cheerful people I know. When I showed her this picture, her face softened as she went back in time and I think for a few minutes, she became 18 years old again -- shy, expectant and ready to take on life. If you ask her, she'll say she never feels older than 18. Ever. I believe her.

There and back again

2009-07-31T09:05:00.002-04:00

Another India trip has gone by. On the flight back home, as I was trying to ease my cramped legs, I wondered how many years I was going to do this -- the months of planning ahead for the 3-week trip, weeks just looking forward to the moment I would board the flight back home and the insane cramming of all things possible into the 3 short weeks at home. There's family and friends to visit, festive occassions, weddings to attend (if you go in the months of June/July), shopping for esoteric Indian supplies to last you the next year in the US, packing all manners of podis, oorugais within the allotted 100 lbs per person and of course, if you get lucky, some personal time to do the things you really, really want to do.

Someone wrote in a blog that US desis seem to live only during weekends. We wait the entire week for the weekend to have "fun". Add the 3-week India trip to that list, and I seem to come truly alive only for these short moments! I can hear the naysayers out there sniggering, "Maybe you live on the weekends. We know how to have fun throughout the year!". Perhaps.

Tamilnadu is where I feel completely at home, at ease. It is where I can eat thayir sadham with my hands, wear colorful, fragrant flowers in my hair every single day, don bright sarees and not have to explain anything to anyone. When I landed in Chennai airport after a 30 hour journey, I felt light. Along with the heat wave that washed over me as soon as I stepped out, there was also this wave of relief! Not even Mumbai evokes this feeling for me.

I was trying to explain this feeling to one of my father's friends and I blurted out, "Ermm.. Chennai is my natural habitat!" like I was some primordial being. But it is true -- the heat, sweat, humidity just didn't bother me after a week. I was home.

There are a lot of NRIs out there contemplating R2I. Everyone discusses the merits of schooling in India, the amount of pollution in the air, the time it takes to commute, the interminable traffic and crowds etc.. I confess I do as well. But it finally has dawned on me that R2I means I can stop living a dual life -- trying to fit into the American life by day and being desi by evenings -- and be my harmonious own self. That, I think, would be priceless and beats every other consideration hands down. Amen.

The Half-Blood Prince

2009-07-25T09:16:00.002-04:00

Warning: If you have not read the books and seen this movie yet, spoilers ahead.

I actually liked this 6th installment movie better than some of the earlier ones. It is still not as good as the books but passable. Other aspects of the movie aside, my bouquets and brickbats have to be directed chiefly against the casting director --

-- Alan Rickman as Professor Snape is a brilliant choice! I have loved him from the first movie. Toward the end of the movie, he could have shown a bit more emotion on his face especially when he reveals to Harry that he is the Half-Blood prince. Instead, I thought it was a singularly emotionless, passionless dialogue delivery.

--Dumbledore is/has been one of my biggest disappointments in this movie. Back when I started reading the series, Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey in LOTR, was my mental image for Dumbledore. He still seems like the perfect person to have played the role. The actor playing Dumbledore currently seems singularly wooden and uninspiring. What a pity that the director missed McKellen!

-- Daniel Radcliffe is mediocre. He seems to do good in the funny sequences but when it comes to showing other emotions, he seems to get his expressions wrong. Disappointing.

-- I don't know why but the movie Ron Weasley annoyed me. He looked so wooden that I wanted to just bonk him on the head. Same goes for Ginny whom I expected to have a little more fire and mischief.

--Emma Watson as Hermione was good!

Anyways, if this series had managed the acting coup that Lord of the Rings pulled off, maybe it would be on a totally different plane.

Mango season..

2009-07-12T11:29:00.002-04:00

After 6 long years, I finally made it to India during the summer mango season! The highlight of this trip so far has been the mouthwatering, yummy mangoes I have been enjoying. Banganapalli, Imampasand & Alfonso are available at almost every house I visit. If anyone offers me the customary coffee,I unashamedly settle for mangoes instead..:)

The Secret Life of Bees

2009-06-22T18:45:00.004-04:00

Okay, I have to admit -- it has been a very long time since I absolutely relished a book like this. I lingered over this book enjoying the author's writing style and the beautiful, vivid imagery she conjured up! A story about one girl's longing for her mother, it is about the strength of sisterhood, the ability to heal and move on in life.

Some of my favorite quotes --

“You know, Lily, people can start out one way, and by the time life gets through with them they end up completely different.”

This one made me laugh. I remember, when we were kids, people used to ask my brother and I this question all the time. I came up with cluelessly staid answers ("Doctor", "Engineer" etc..) while my brother would say something startling like "Motorbike" or "Race car".

“You think you want to know something, and then once you do, all you can think about is erasing it from your mind. From now on when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I planned to say Amnesiac.”

This one resonated with me.

“There is nothing perfect,” August said from the doorway. “There is only life.”

“For starters, everything was blue. Bedspread, curtains, rug, chair cushion, lamps. Don’t get the idea it was boring, though. She had ten different shades of it. Sky blue, lake blue, sailor blue, aqua blue -- you name a blue. I had the feeling of scuba diving through the ocean.”

“A breeze moved through the room from the open window. I walked to it and stared out at the dark fringe of trees by the edge of the woods, a half moon wedged like a gold coin into a slot, about to drop through the sky with a clink”

This one is so true that I found myself nodding in assent.

“People, in general, would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard. If God said in plain language, “I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die,”, a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.”

“The month of August had turned into a griddle where the days just lay there and sizzled.”

“There will be a few hundred bees doing laps around the hive boxes, just warming up, but mostly taking their bathroom break, as bees are so clean they will not soil the inside of their hives. From a distance it will look like a big painting you might see in a museum, but museums can’t capture the sound. Fifty feet away you will hear it, a humming that sounds like it came from another planet. At thirty feet your skin will start to vibrate. The hair will lift on your neck. Your head will say, Don’t go any farther, but your heart will send you straight into the hum, where you will be swallowed by it. You will stand there and think, I am in the center of the universe, where everything is sung to life.”

2009-06-07T07:27:00.002-04:00

I like to play with babies. They are pretty irresistible, charming little things with tremendous social skills (which they lose as they grow into a "functional" adult). I never had a second thought about reaching out for a smiling child that had its arms outstretched from his mother's lap. During college days, the bus home was always crowded. Sometimes, standing moms would hand over their children to the person sitting close to them. My friends and I would amuse the baby (and ourselves) by making funny faces to get a laugh out of them. In trains, buses, temples, super-markets, there was no barriers to playing with babies with the parents close by to watch.

All that has changed since I came to the US. The meaning of "touch" has taken on an almost exclusively sexual connotation. And mothers in the US are more fiercely protective of their kids' personal space. I got frowned upon once when I made eye contact with a baby at the mall and smiled at her. The mother almost was about to report me as a sexual predator! The other day, at the supermarket, I saw this really pretty, bouncy baby. I said out loud to the mom, "She is so cute!" and that the mother glared me down! I was so shocked that I just walked away.

I guess everyone is trying to just watch out for their child's well-being and in today's world, with all its perversities, I can relate to that. However, there is something as taking it too far. Interpreting every touch/glance with a baby that happens in full view of the parents as a "sexual" one is terrible, in my opinion. It feels like we are imposing adult-ish notions on a very innocent relationship. These days, if I see a baby, I just give a curt smile or look away for fear of being reported to the police.

Up!

2009-06-04T07:32:00.002-04:00

I cried when I saw Maniratnam's 'Nayagan' way back in the early 90s. After that, in 2009, I had tears in my eyes in the initial 20 minutes of Pixar's 'Up'. I expected nothing more than a mindless, fun movie in the true style of animated movies. However, it turned out to be a little more than that offering a peek into human love, dreams and failings. Touching, humorous and fantastic at the same time, I had a great time watching this movie.

Maybe I was feeling hormonal when I watched 'Up' and that is why I am raving about it.. :-) Hormonal or not, go see 'Up' if you get a chance!

Incredible India Ad..

2009-05-31T08:05:00.003-04:00

I saw this ad for the first time yesterday on Sun TV. The voice-over for Aamir in Tamil is pretty awful but I liked the content of the ad a lot. If our celebrities put their star-power to use for causes like these, it does go a long way...

Vices and People..

2009-05-09T17:52:00.003-04:00

Some of the most entertaining and likeable people I know smoke and drink. Interestingly, all of them are men. They belong to different generations and some of them have quite a number of other vices as well -- women, gambling etc.. But they're charming rascals all the same! A lot of my strait-laced friends are quite interesting in their own way. But they lack that dare-devil, happy-go-lucky, crowd-pleasing charm of the former category.

Do entertaining/interesting people have vices because they're very open to new experiences and sometimes, these new experiences turn out to be addictive? Or does having vices generally gives you a certain perspective about human life that you become extremely tolerant and well-loved by other people?

Spare the rod and join anger management..

2009-05-04T12:28:00.003-04:00

This child died because a teacher decided to punish her for not knowing the alphabet properly. Punishment in Indian schools is not new. I've been through it and so have many others. But I've never liked it and I count myself lucky that I survived. The principal of a government school in this article claims:

"Most children in my school are criminal-minded," says Dr. S.C. Sharma, the principal of a government school in South Delhi. "We have caught them stealing fans from classrooms and even the iron grills from the windows. How do you discipline such kids?" In Sharma's school the teacher-student ratio is 1:63, compared with a recommended ratio of 1:35.

Okay. Maybe government school teachers have it harder than most. And a child that steals should be disciplined. But why is punishment necessary in private schools? And that too, for silly things like not turning in homework or talking during class or drinking water in class or being late after recess. I've been "punished" for all the above reasons.

The concept of public humiliation as a means of correcting "unwanted" behavior stinks. It kills a child's self-confidence, makes him/her diffident and creates all kinds of insecurities and fears in an impressionable mind.

I think a harder line should be taken toward India's teachers in public or private schools alike. Most of the time, they are just venting their anger against a helpless section. If you had a fight with your wife, take it out on the kids. Sure, they can't hit back. They'll take it silently.

I am sorry to say this but I was never lucky to have great teachers at school. Sure, there were the rare exceptions once in a while. But I had a healthy disrespect for most of my teachers. I don't feel sorry for this teacher who killed a child. I think the case should be handed over to the police and let justice take its own course.

Cleveland!

2009-04-13T21:18:00.015-04:00

We were at the opening weekend of the 32nd Tyagaraja Aradhanai in Cleveland, Ohio. And what a feast it was for the eyes and ears!

The 'Pancharatna' rendition started early on Saturday morning. The stage of the "Waetjen Auditorium" erupted in festive colors as all the gathered vidwans and vidushis -- about 150 of them -- gathered on stage. Dr. Ramani and Haridwaramangalam Pazhanivel took the lead in co-ordinating the performers. Tiruvarur Vaidyanathan on mridangam gave a rousing finale to "Endaro Mahanubhavulu"!

MS Gopalakrishnan performed Saturday evening with his son and daughter. Even though a RTP in Todi was the main piece, "Siva siva" in Panthuvarali was easily the best! I heard later that MSG's school is famous for their Panthuvarali. They render it with a Hindustani touch which adds beauty to the Ragam. My next personal favourite was Nalinakanthi. MSG's delicate handling of the Ragam is sure to have melted hearts in the audience! Dr. Narmada's violin literally speaks. She easily won the most applause even topping her father.

Wesleyan University students performed Sunday morning. I was amazed and moved by the dedication these Americans had toward Carnatic music. To be able to relate to songs composed in an unknown language about things far removed from their daily life/culture is no mean feat! It was a treat to watch them sing.

'Nrityacharya' Dhananjayan suggested to Sudha on the morning of her concert to have a Tambura. "Tambura irundha dhaan kalaiya irukkum!" were his words. They looked for a Tambura player minutes before the concert was due to begin. Dhananjayan himself volunteered to play the Tambura for Sudha! It was one great talent saluting another graciously. I think this pic of mine might be worth millions in another 100 years..:p

Nisha Rajagopal has one of the most commanding voices I've heard in recent times. Slightly remniscient of Sowmya's voice, it is quite arresting to hear her sing. I wouldn't be surprised to see her star rise in the coming years!

Gopalakrishna Bharathi's "Nandanar Charithram"
was the highlight of the entire trip. With all all-star team comprising the vocal and instrumental support, it was a treat to watch Dhananjayan speak with just his abhinaya and bhavam. Even if there was no music in the background, I think I'd have understood what he communicated! Prof V. Balasubramaniam has a very pleasing "Othuvar"-like rendition of Tamizh songs. Subhasree Thanigachalam, the anchor, did a very good job of presenting the opera.

All-in-all, a very satisfying weekend!

Sunday scribbles...

2009-04-05T15:32:00.000-04:00

For the longest time, to the Lexington Aunty-Uncle community, I was a "student". Never mind that I'd finished my Masters degree and transitioned to a full-time working life for a while now. I could cry myself hoarse reminding them that I was no more a student now but it never stuck. Besides, they were mostly really well-meaning and kind. Why bother correcting them? I gave up.

Last weekend, our Lexington temple had a "Sita kalyanam" festival for Rama Navami. And I got tapped by an Aunty to make sambhar for the festivities! Really? Me? I guess that means that I've now graduated from being a "student" in the minds of the community. Which is good and bad.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We watched "Vennila Kabadi Kuzhu" last week. I really enjoyed the movie. No ultra-glam heroines in skimpy dresses. No drop-dead gorgeous heroes in hi-fi, colorful houses. Just regular people -- people I could relate to -- filled the movie. The simple pleasures of going to a local "thiruvizha", eating "panju mittai" (cotton candy) and the joy of going on the super-simple "raattinam" were beautifully portrayed. I was that person once! And of course, the Madurai twang brought smiles to my face all through the movie..:-)

Speaking of movies, it is heartening to see good movies (aside from the usual romance story-line) being made. Also, what's up with Surya? He seems to be growing younger by the day. In the latest trailers of "Ayan", I wouldn't put him past 22! No fair! Grr.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I've been itching to read good Tamizh books for a while now. I've exhausted my store at home. So I ordered a few new ones and they arrived yesterday. I've got enough to keep me going for a month. Super-excited about it!

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wake up sunshine!

2009-04-01T14:28:00.000-04:00

Back in high school, Mr. Esralson -- my chemistry teacher -- often used to say, "Wake up Sunshine!" A friend explained to me later that because the Canadian Sun is usually so slow to come up and the sunshine quite hazy, the phrase basically means that someone is a slow top! Coming from a place where the Sun God is very diligent to come up and even more diligent when it comes to blazing down, this phrase never sat comfortably with me.

Today is one of those blindingly beautiful Spring days. The sky is an azure blue and the sun's shining. I feel more alive and more motivated to work on days like these. Rainy days just make me feel bleaaargh. Maybe I am just imagining all this but feels like I am truly a creature of the sun!

2009-03-25T11:36:00.002-04:00

I stink at negotiations especially ones concerned with money. Being an Indian, it shames me to say that I don't know how to haggle. My mother is an expert negotiator when it comes to vegetable vendors, servant-maids, plumbers, auto-rickshaw wallahs and every other person you deal with in everyday situations. What makes her particularly deadly is that she is a walking database of the "correct" prices for the day. Her view of the "correct" price is not just what the service is worth. It factors in practical realities such as the cost of running a family, "fair" profit the person can expect to make etc.. Most of the time, she gets whatever price she wants.

Unfortunately, I've not inherited this trait from her. Not that I am particularly sensitive but I hate, hate, hate confrontations even when they are absolutely necessary. Yesterday, at a car dealership, I sat squirming in my chair as S negotiated with the dealer. The dealer came back with horrifically low trade-in prices for S's car. S refused to accept anything below a certain amount and stuck to his guns. He even feigned outrage, anger and helplessness. The dealer mounted attack after attack coming back with very firm refusals and counter-offers. Just hearing the harsh tone in which these two men argued made me cringe. Left to myself, I would have just succumbed to a ridiculous price and bolted from there. I tried to help S but I was more of a hindrance than anything else blurting out unnecessary information to the dealer.

"I think the right price for your old car is $1000"

S, keeping a poker face, said, "No, I saw on the internet that it is $6000"

"Didn't you have a print-out of it? It said $1000"

S: "No no. This might not be accurate but I think it was around $6000"

Me, thinking that S couldn't really remember and trying to help: "Erm..S, wasn't it really like $4000?"

S glared me down of course. So I shut up after that.

Anyways, after 3 hours worth of hard negotiations, S got what he wanted.

After spending close to 4 hours there and completing the paperwork, we dutifully told the dealer we couldn't take delivery that day because of "Marana Yogam". As usual, we left him confounded and walked away.

The month of goodbyes

2009-02-28T10:06:00.002-05:00

February has been the month of endings for me. Faced with the economic slump, my company let go of some employees. My teammate, someone I’ve worked with for the past two years, bid farewell to work last Thursday. It was sad for me to watch him go.

February was also the month when my periappa bade farewell to this world forever. He passed away on Feb 12 suddenly due to cardiac arrest. For many years, our families had been estranged due to various reasons. I had my own resentments toward him. But that’s not how I want to remember him. Life’s all about editing out the bad parts and retaining the good ones. 20 years from now, I know I’d like to remember my periappa fondly.

He was a man of many excellent qualities. Proud and determined, he along with his brothers, rose up in life through sheer hardwork and dedication. My father used to say that he had vowed to either get into the IAS or do nothing else at all. Of course, he got through and was extremely successful at work. He made as many friends as he did enemies and he did both with passion.

He liked his arguments. Equally at ease with politics, religion or current trends, he would argue with Mani periappa for hours on end. It was very entertaining for the younger members of the family to watch them fight passionately about something totally unrelated to their daily lives. Personally, I used to wonder at his oratory, eloquence and stamina in holding onto his position. My love for English literature was definitely fueled by his oratory and command of the language!

During one of his visits to Trichy, he asked me if I wanted to go eat “good rava dosai and godhumai halwa”. I thought we would go to some nearby restaurant. At exactly around 4.30 in the evening, we both set out to the “best place to eat evening tiffin”. We ended up at the junction of Big Street and Gandhi Market at a small hole in the wall called “Rama’s Cafe”. And sure enough, the home-style rava dosai and halwa served there were the best in the entire town! He loved his food. During family get-togethers, as we all sat down to eat in the traditional banana-leaf, he would pick the “right” banana leaf that would let him have his fill of payasam. Too narrow and you can’t pour too much liquid in it. Too flimsy and the food will fall out of the leaf. He would have the rich payasam toward the end of the meal (instead of in between courses as is the tradition) so nothing else would taint its taste! :)

He was a towering figure in the family in many respects. He raised my father, educated him and helped him make it in life. He helped countless family numbers financially, morally and in other ways. Ultimately, the qualities that made him formidable at work -- pride and stubbornness-- also contributed to his estrangement from the family. He came to my wedding and the last few words he spoke to me were words of blessing.

My grandmother used to say that my brother was the exact replica of how Pasupathy periappa used to look in his childhood. B definitely has periappa in his make-up somewhere. He sleeps like periappa -- one leg crossed over the other knee. He loves sweets as much as periappa did and he has the same streak of stubborn-ness in him. Maybe that’s why periappa loved him so much.

I am glad I didn’t see periappa’s body in the end. I find it very hard to imagine a man of his vitality lying very cold and still. Farewell, periappa, rest in peace.

I am Pablo

2009-02-01T16:06:00.001-05:00

Facebook's "Who were you in your past life?" quiz says --

In your past life you were Pablo Picasso. In this life you continue to be revolutionary, stubborn, an active lover, enjoy breaking the rules, and react poorly to heartbreak.

Sunshine State, Weather Gods, Cabin Fever & "42"

2009-01-23T09:39:00.004-05:00

* Made a trip down to Orlando last week. Stayed at the Walt Disney Swan. Wherever you go, its Disneyland. Disney owns the place! But I liked it. Of course, I bought a bunch of Disney stuff -- most of them silly but what the heck!

* When I left Lexington, I was gloating over the fact that I was going to warm, sunny, tropical Florida. Lexington was freezing. Ah, freedom for a week! Alas, I didn't pray to the Weather Gods. The temperatures in Orlando were in the mid-twenties for most of my stay there. Sigh. So much for escaping freezing weather. Nonetheless, it didn't deter a bunch of us from going to Universal Studios one very cold evening. "The Simpsons" ride was easily the highlight of the trip!

* The minute I landed in Orlando, my cell phone died. No life. Zilch. Zip. Nada. I tried many different avenues of getting it to work. Finally, I abandoned it and decided to have fun without it. It wasn't that difficult to manage without a cell phone. I actually enjoyed the freedom conferred on me.

* When I got back to Lex, of course, the wrath of the weather gods pursued me. We had an ice-snow storm two days back. Driveways were iced up and the roads were slick. We couldn't get out of the house. Our satellite dish couldn't pick up any signals. No TV. No cell phone. Sitting at home for three days without seeing anyone else other than S gave me cabin fever.

* Which brings me to my last point -- "42". The combination of not being able to venture out + no TV + no cell phone gave me tons of time to do some reading. I've been devouring "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"! And I am becoming a cult fan! Currently reading the fourth book of the series -- "So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish!". If you want to know what "42" means, go read the book.

Strays..

2009-01-17T08:58:00.004-05:00

Whenever I see a cat or a dog running around the streets without any visible owner, I just go, "Look, there's a dog crossing the campus." To me, its just part of the scenery. Nothing special or notice-worthy. A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded that this is not how everyone in the world reacts. My friend went, "Oh my God! Look, there's a stray dog! I am going to call the pound."

I am used to seeing stray dogs, cows, cats on the street everywhere in India. In residential colonies, if they happen to wander around, people give them left-over food. Cows, especially, have a field time during Pongal. They are in demand everywhere. Of course, these animals cause traffic problems and irritate some people who dislike having their picture-perfect neighborhood "dis-figured". But they manage to survive, procreate and have a life on the streets. I am not saying that it is a great life. But they manage to be alive.

I know people who run shelters and pounds are trying to save the stray animals from pain, cruelty and starvation. But if no one adopts an animal from the pound, they are euthanized. Is it fair to kill an animal because we want our streets to be picture perfect?

I think humans have developed this exaggerated sense of entitlement to Planet Earth. Like it belongs only to us and we can do what we want with it and all its other inhabitants. Everyone makes fun of President Bush's statement, "I know the human and fish can co-exist". But maybe one day, all the fish in the seas will get sick of being caught. Then, we'll have a fish uprising in history. Maybe, the fish and the rest of the animal kingdom will decide to euthanize us all because we are ruining their environment. And Bush will seem like a messiah. I know I am blaboring. So I'll shut up. :-)

A new beginning...

2009-01-02T17:16:00.001-05:00

My first post of the year is going to be just an assemblage (is that a word?) of random things in my head. I tried to go for an emotional and meaningful post but it backfired on me.

--I wanted to write a New year's eve post commemorating the fact that I had 44 posts last year compared to the 35 in 2007. It would have been nice to make it a round 50 but I am not complaining. I think I kept up a steady stream of posts in 2008 every month instead of the spasmodic pattern of 2007. Enough gloating.

--Have been on a reading spree lately. Managed to devour four books in the span of 1.5 weeks! Started reading the Stephanie Meyer "Twilight" series. I am sure series-lovers will want to crucify me for this but the first book -- "Twilight" -- really sucked. It felt like I was trapped between the pages of a very badly written Mills and Boon romance. Too touchy-feely for me. Stephanie Meyer redeemed herself with the second one, "New Moon". The third, "Eclipse",was positively engaging. I guess it gets better as it progresses. Two more books to go in this series.

I also struggled through "The Gatecrasher" by Madeline Wickham (alias Sophie Kinsella). Extremely meandering story with no concrete plot. Ugh. Didn't expect this from the creator of the "Shopaholic" series!

Finished the "The Lost Army of Cambyses" by Paul Sussman. Masala thriller story in the mould of Dan Brown (though not close enough). Worth reading on a flight or a train!

I am about to start on "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini.

-- 2009 has started out very promisingly with lots of cleaning getting done @ home. We managed to buy things we had been putting off, clean things that were pending and re-organized our home. I finally managed to hang up some photographs on the walls. I even got a rolodex so we can be better organized about phone numbers/addresses. Yippeee to that!

-- Some people have this gaping dichotomy between what they want to be and what they are. They insist that they are just suffering a lack of will-power and they really, really "want" to do something. But no matter how much you help or how hard you try, their actions point in a different direction. Makes me wonder if people have no idea what they want or what is good for them. I've also realized that spending energy trying to alter the course of someone's behavior is EXHAUSTING! :-)

Okay, for this largely trivial post, I am going to write something a bit more deep. I have been thinking about this for a while and want to get it off my chest. There have been times when I wondered if it was just freakish chance that I was on this earth, that maybe there was no rhyme or rhythm to the universe, that there was no 'karma" guiding the paths of our lives. I had my first taste of intense grief last year and with that grief came a tiny glimmer of intense appreciation of human life. A realization of truly how magical life and a living being is. It is difficult to explain that feeling. I think everyone has to feel it to really know it.

Farewell 2008 and welcome 2009! Belated new year wishes to all! :-)

Etiquettes..

2008-12-30T08:05:00.000-05:00

Handshakes are becoming my current worst social embarassment. A couple of months ago, at the temple Diwali festival, we met up with some acquaintances -- C & J -- who had come with their parents. The old man started a conversation with S and shook his hand. When he started talking to me, I raised my hand for a handshake. Oops. An embarassed pause followed. He smiled uncomfortably and just folded his hands in salutation. Maybe I should have just said 'Namaskaram'?!

A month later, I met a desi in his 30s at Kroger. This time, fresh from my handshaking faux pas last time, I just said 'Hi'. Oops again. The guy had already extended his hand for a handshake and my 'Hi' sounded like a snub! Ughh. Of course, in my embarassment, I hurriedly took his hand which made it seem like I was desperate to shake his hand (Thankfully, I am not single or this could've been construed as something else). The same thing happened with an American at work when I forgot to shake hands with him!

When Dr. Kalaam visited Lexington in March 2008, it was confusion galore for me! An American I had just met hugged me like I had known him for years. Another one shook my hand very enthusiastically. Young Indian guys shook hands with girls. Older Indian guys refrained from it. Middle-aged guys were in as much confusion as myself. Dr. Kalaam himself, I noticed, didn't shake women's hands. He just folded his hands.

Anyways, the point is, being caught in a social 'Trisanku sorgam' in the US, its difficult to keep all these various cultural permutations and combinations clear in my head. Until then, I guess I'll continue to be embarassed..

Psstt..we went to Jared's..

2008-12-15T09:02:00.002-05:00

Those of you in the US might have seen the ad for the jewelry store "Jared's". It has a whole bunch of people whispering "He went to Jared's" at a table when a couple announce their engagement and the bride-to-be flashes her ring exuberantly. About a year and a half back, S decided to get me a wedding present. On a whim, we both landed up at the nearest Jared's.

After 15 minutes of looking around, we realized that the designs were plain as can be and there was nothing attractive enough to capture our GRT-Thangamaligai-sensitized imaginations. Just as we were about to make a silent exit from the shop, a sales-guy captured us red-handed.

"May I help you with your purchase today?", he asked smilingly.

We could have said "No, thanks" and walked out. But something got into S and he said,

"Yes..we are actually looking for a ring."

"Would diamond interest you?"

"Err..ahem..sure"

I glanced at S desperately to ask him why he wanted to see those boring, old rings again.

The sales guy flourishingly displayed a set of about 30 diamond rings set in platinum. All of them had a plain band with a single stone of varying sizes set on top.

I was about to say, "okay, I am not interested" when S suddenly chimed in,

"Do these diamonds have doshas?"

"Do they have what?"

"D-o-s-h-a-s. Doshas. Meaning -- are these diamonds fit to be worn?"

Sales guy: "These are of the finest quality made by the best jewelers in the world"

The poor sales guy thought we were questioning the quality of the products. How wrong he was..:-)

S, nodding sagely, said, "Ah, yes. But they will not affect the wearer?"

Sales Guy: "You mean allergies? We have the best ---"

Hubby Dear: "No, no, no..you see, in India, people say that some diamonds will cause the wearer harm or bring bad-luck..."

Sales Guy: "Oh..okay. How do you know that?"

Hubby Dear: "We don't know that..our parents do."

Sales Guy: "You want to come with your parents another day?"

Hubby Dear: "No..that's difficult"

Sales Guy: "Can I interest you in some other stones then?"

I was already giggling and struggling to compose myself. S was in full form that day.

Hubby Dear: "Umm..we're not sure if we can wear any stone."

Salesguy: (Dumb-founded, confused silence)

I thought I would alleviate some of the awkwardness and said,

"Only some stones can be worn by some people depending on their birth star.."

"Birth star?", the sales guy asked incredulously.

"We are all born under a star at the time of our birth.."

"You mean sun signs?", he asked doggedly.

"No, no..there are 27 stars..and some stones don't go well with some stars.."

"What?"

"One of my aunts wore an emerald stone ring against advice and a thief broke into their house within a week."

"So...that's because of the emerald and your Aunt's birth star?"

"Umm-Hmm"

After 5 minutes, we left the store, our heads held high leaving behind an extremely aggravated sales person. Both of us burst into uncontrollable laughter. The incident still evokes laughter!

2008-12-04T09:13:00.003-05:00

The coverage of the Mumbai attacks in the US has been intense. I am angry and outraged at the partisan politics India's parties seem to be waging amidst this tragedy. But I am also annoyed at the western media's consistent referral of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) as a "Hindu Nationalist Party".

If the BJP is termed so, can the Republican Party in the US be henceforth referred to as the Christian Fundamentalist Party"? Honestly, I don't see much of a difference between the values these two parties espouse vis-a-vis religion. So , why not? Would this be a mis-representation?

Healing Mohanam..

2008-11-12T09:19:00.000-05:00

I read in Hindu sometime back that Apollo Hospitals, Chennai has a music therapy center. A call-center employee had recurring migraines and associated health problems. She was asked to listen to the Raga Mohanam 6 times a day whenever she felt a migraine come on. The lady reported 4 months down the line that she rarely ever had headaches now!

I was feeling super-stressed this morning. For lack of anything else to distract me, I started playing a Ragam Tanam Pallavi in Mohanam by TV Sankaranarayanan. I can swear that the moment I heard the initial notes of Mohanam, I could feel the stress draining out of me, literally. My neck muscles loosened up and I was feeling much more peaceful in a few minutes.

I have felt that hard-core music enthusiasts discount Mohanam as a Ragam. They extol the virtues of Bhairavi, Todi, Kharaharapriya et al. because of the scope offered for manodharma. But if you ask me, I'll take a beautifully sung Mohanam over any other Raga in Carnatic music! :)

Holy Cow!

2008-10-30T21:28:00.002-04:00

Way back in the 1960s, my grandparents suffered a series of tragedies. A row of children died as soon as they were born or a few months after. When my mother was born, she was quite sickly as well. She had some kind of a liver problem which prevented her from ingesting food. They took her to Dr. Jemmi, then the most famous Liver specialist in Chennai. Unlike so many doctors today, he prescribed a simple home remedy: Buy a cow, raise it organically with good fodder and feed the children with milk from the cow. Apparently, he challenged my grandfather, "Let's see how your children don't become healthy in two years' time!"

So my grandfather bought a jersey cow, Rani, and he raised her dutifully. And true to prediction, my mom and her elder brother improved steadily and became quite healthy! I've heard this story told so many times over and over. But I've always thought: why bother raise a cow when you can buy milk?

I got my answer recently. A year or so back, I started reading about going organic. That's when I discovered the horror stories about milk in the US. Cows are never allowed to see the daylight, cooped up in huge factories, fed anti-biotics and milked using machines. There is much more information about this torture if you google for it. I am pretty sure part of this is going on in India as well. Anyways, I was so upset that I thought of swearing off milk for a while.

I don't mean to sound very superstitious but if you extract a product out of an animal/plant that gives it great agony physically and mentally (think fear), does it not affect the person consuming it? All the evil karma probably goes into our lives. Anyways, that's when I started thinking about solutions. Going organic and supporting local farms definitely helps. However, these are not long-term solutions. When anything becomes a business, there are certain compromises that have to be made for profits.

Personally, I feel like the right thing is to have a cow per household. A household pet will never be treated harshly and can provide enough milk to sustain the family. And we would know the source of the milk and rest assured that it won't have some scary chemical in it. Definitely not a simple solution because maintenance of another living being is complex. Given our lazy lifestyles and apartment living today, it seems near impossible. And I am no exception.

But the hope is that some day, I might see light. If we are convinced and set our minds to it, I believe this is possible at least in India. The exercise involved in cow maintenance might just get us IT-types a workout and maybe, people will learn to respect all animal life? Or we find a different solution to the milk situation?

2008-10-29T11:42:00.000-04:00

Recent events in life have proved to me that self is a very good leader. I know that sounds very ego-maniacal and presumptuous. Happenings in the past 6-7 months have shown that 95% of people

a) don't know what they're supposed to do next
b) don't bother to do it even if they know what the next step is,

Given that even people in supposed leadership roles fumble around in either a) or b), think self is much, much better off. Even if I don't know whether the next thing I propose to do is "correct" or not, I have some idea of what I can do next. People seem to crave leadership and decisions -- good or bad doesn't matter. Maybe this is how Hitler and all other tyrants of the world had such huge followings. The trick is to just do something or pretend to do something..:)

PS: I know that is a weird mixture of "self" and "I" in this post. Effects of reading Bridget Jones. Please excuse..:)

Deepavali

2008-10-28T11:28:00.001-04:00

For the first time in my five years in the US, I took the day of Deepavali off from work. This year, I was having we-are-not-celebrating-ANY-festivals-fatigue. I got tired of spending all festive occasions in my grey cube in drab jeans & an unironed T-shirt under the harsh glare of the computer screens and fluorescent lights. I desperately wanted to feel the festive season of my childhood -- making sweets at home, watching special programs on TV, visiting friends and family, wearing new clothes and bursting crackers. So we did what we could here. We lolled around home, called India, watched looooots of Sun TV and K TV and ate quite sumptuously.

S attempted cashew cake yesterday. It turned out like a gooey halwa instead of the perfect, mysore pa-like consistency he was hoping for. But the taste was just decadently rich and yummy!

The evening was spent at a potluck with about 20 people. And needless to say, we ate our fill, watched snatches of "Annamalai" and chatted away. Now, after being immersed in festive mood for more than 3 days, I am having trouble coming back to my "regular" life. Sigh.

"Ha" moments..

2008-10-21T09:03:00.002-04:00

The best pieces of writing are those that touch your heart before your mind has even fathomed the meaning of what you just read! At those moments, my heart exclaims "Ha!" with pleasant surprise and admiration. I had one of those this morning when I read these lines from Khalil Gibran's "The Prophet":

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see in truth that you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Thandalai

2008-10-18T19:44:00.001-04:00

The cult of guardian deities or "kaaval deivams" in Tamilnadu is something I've been trying to fathom for a while. It is not that I don't believe in it but I cannot relate to it. Our guardian deity is in a village called Thandalai, about 5 kms from Tiruvarur. It houses a very small temple to Shashtha or Ayyappan, Badrakali and the more famous "Eetty Manickam" (The Manickam with a Javelin). Anyone in the surrounding regions of that village will be able to point you to the temple of "Eetty Manickam". All vehicles, especially buses and lorries, passing via that temple will stop, drop a coin toward "Eetty Manickam" and then proceed on their way. Legend has it that if they do not do that, they will meet with a fatal calamity. For many years, the temple drew a sustenance based on the charity of these passers-by and still does even though it now has other sources of funds as well.

Until the 1990s, our family had no idea of this temple. Somewhere along the way, many generations past, we'd lost the memory of this place. In the early 1990s, my eldest Uncle was looking to marry off his eldest daughter. Try as they might, they couldn't find a satisfactory alliance for my cousin. One day my Uncle had a very vivid dream of a temple in an isolated village. He dreamt about a Badrakali in that temple and was told that because we had neglected this deity, the marriage of his daughter was being delayed. He could accurately describe the temple, its surroundings and the way to the Badrakali sanctum. But no one in our family knew what this temple was. Finally, my grandmother had some vague recollection of a place near Tiruvarur that was supposed to be our guardian deity. So my uncle hunted around that area for a while and figured out that there was a little-known village called Thandalai.

The entire family consisting of my Uncle, his three younger brothers including my father, their spouses and children made the visit to this place. We worshipped there and when we went to the Badrakali sanctum, my Uncle swore that it was exactly as it was in his dream. "Eetty Manickam" came as a surprise to me. The image was of an English-looking guy in khaki trousers and shirt, with a gun and a white horse. The statue was huge and stood on the outside of the temple. Here's where the drivers threw their coins. "Eetty Manickam" was supposed to guard the village at night and many villagers swore to hearing horse hoof sounds in that area. Anyways, after propitiating the gods there and promising to go back every year, we returned. Soon enough, my cousin got married and we attributed it to the temple.

To go back to the beginning of this post, I have trouble relating to these "kaaval deivams" because of their punishing nature. I've never believed in fear-induced worship and many of the Ayyanars, Karuppannasaamis,Ellai Kaalis, Badrakalis seem to be very punishing. But I suppose their very nature makes people feel protected if they offer the right worship.

S & I just started watching "Marma Desam - Vidadhu Karuppu" and that prompted me to write this post..:-)

Failures..

2008-10-09T11:28:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, it is good if life deals you a couple of crushing blows when you are young. You are bruised, hurt and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Life is all dark. But youth has a way of overcoming all hurdles. You pull through and maybe the experience leaves you accustomed with failure. You know what it is like to fail, be a failure and you know how to get through it. If the first taste of hardship one faces is in adulthood, it becomes hard to digest. It is impossible to say what drives humans to death but maybe, it won't lead to this.

How Women Hate..

2008-10-02T22:31:00.002-04:00

This has got to be one of the most succinct and hard-hitting articles written on how women "feel"! :) Yes, the "feel factor" that men have so much trouble understanding. I can't recall the number of times in a week that I've said to S,

"Did you feel the vibe there?"
"Did someone say something?"
"No..no one said anything. But did you feel it?"
[Greeted by confused look]
" If nothing was actually said or nothing happened, how can I "feel" anything?"
"Well..."
"You know, you should not spend so much energy on such things! "

This article had me chuckling and nodding through-out!:) All ye women , do read and enjoy..

On Monarchy Vs Democracy

2008-09-27T09:25:00.000-04:00

I've often heard my grandfather lament,

"வெள்ளைக்காரன் ஆட்சில எவ்வளவோ சுகமா இருந்தது நம்ம ஊரு !"

To which, my grandmother would retort,

"அரம்பிசுட்டேளா, உங்க வெள்ளைக்காரன் புராணத்த! சாயங்கால நேரமும் அதுவுமா ! வாயை மூடுங்கோ!"

And they would get into a rip-roaring fight that provided great amusement to all by-standers. Sometimes I've old-timers say the same about "Raja kaalathu" reigns. And they would point to all the great temples and works of art that were executed under monarchs and ask, "What has democracy done?"

Monarchy affords high-handed rule. If the lucky draw happens to be good, a nation gets a good monarch and uses high-handedness to do good things. Eg. Akbar, Chandragupta Maurya, Narasimha Pallavan, Raja Raja Cholan, Queen Eizabeth. On the other hand, if the Royal brood is a bunch of maniacs, God save the poor nation! However useless, this latter category definitely yields more interesting characters -- Louis XIV of France who reveled in his courtiers watching him use the toilet, Aurangzeb who was a nut-case etc...

I think no matter what the merits of monarchy are, Democracy is the greatest gift to the people of this world. If 10000 fools vote to elect one fool, we, the fools, know that we brought it on ourselves. Besides, the one fool that got elected is a fool of our own making. We get a chance to try again later.

All this brings me to another question I've been pondering awhile: Does the 'Karma theory' apply to nations? If the ruling class brings misery because of actions they take on behalf of their country, where does this 'paavam' go? To the individual who committed those actions? Or the populace that elected him?

If the population that elected him gets all the bad karma of the elected representatives, that would explain why Indians suffer so much! :) What do you think?

Marie Antoinette

2008-09-25T15:52:00.000-04:00

Inspired by the magnificent Versailles palace and a desire to get a different angle on the infamous Queen, I ordered 'Marie Antoinette' from Netflix. I suppose I was thinking this would be a la Shekar Kapur's 'Elizabeth'. Alas, was I mistaken! This Marie Antoinette (played by Kirsten Dunst) speaks English with an American accent, uses American slang (Example: "That is soooooooooooooooo du Barry"),doesn't utter a single word of French or German and is a pathetic,shallow puppet.

It would be too much to expect documentary-like precision in a commercial movie. However,is it too much to expect that the French Queen at least utter a couple of dialogues in French or speak in accented English? One of the worst performances I've seen from Dunst. Besides, what in the world did this movie want to convey? They finish the movie right when the French mobs move in to capture the Royalty. Isn't that the time to really show Marie as the misunderstood figure that she was? Surely the French Queen has enough character depth for a 2 hour portrayal?

Anyway, this movie is nothing but a director's whim to see and visit Versailles at the producer's cost. Please don't see it. Basically, producer mouth-la halwa! :)

Engeyo Ketta Kural

2008-09-24T10:44:00.001-04:00

On a slow afternoon, I switched on Sun TV . "Engeyo Ketta Kural" starring Rajini, Ambika & Radha had just started playing. Sun TV is famous for "good-for-nothing" movies during day times. I'd never heard of such a Rajini starrer and I was wondering if this was another god forsaken movie from the 80s. Tamil movies from the 80s tend to broad caricatures rather than intricate character portrayals. The villain is usually a comic-book definition of evil. The hero, a by-the-book version of goodness. There are standard plots, turning points, endings. Not that they are any less entertaining but they don't evoke a "hmmm" reaction from the audience.

To my pleasant surprise, this one turned out to be a pretty riveting, well-made movie! It tackles the prickly subject of a troubled marriage very maturely without overt typecasting of anyone as "bad" or "good". Ambika and Radha are sisters with very different temperaments. Ambika is a well-read, educated girl who aspires to things other than tending to cows and fields. She's betrothed to her "Murai maama" Rajini at birth. Rajini is head over heels in love with Ambika but she's indifferent. Radha in love with Rajini completes the triangle. However, due to familial constraints and an inability to make up her mind, Ambika ends up marrying Rajini. The couple have lots of skirmishes and fights because of their differing ambitions and goals in life. Ambika, unable to bear this unhappy marriage, leaves town with her early love -- the village zamindar's son -- who is more suited to her temperament. The consequences of this action are explored in the second half of the movie.

Rajini has given a very sensible, balanced portrayal. He forgives Ambika her desertion of him and their daughter. In fact, he tries to reconcile Ambika with her family toward the end. For a change, it was refreshing to see a cinema husband act "normal" instead of throwing fits and temper tantrums. Director S.P. Muthuraman has explored a lot of grey areas in complex relationships between sister-sister, mom-sister, husband-wife etc... Some scenes are a commentary on how people react because that's how they're "expected" to react. For instance, Ambika's parents' reactions when they learn their daughter has run away. There are some scenes which are brilliant in their highlighting of some issues with marriages. The scene where Ambika tries to make up her mind whether to marry Rajini is perfect -- "I neither like him or hate him. I am indifferent. It is difficult for me to make up my mind because of this!I guess I have to marry him for family reasons because I don't dislike him."

There are some obviously masala things that could've been avoided at the end but all-in-all, a very feministic, forward-looking movie for its era. Definitely worth watching for its novel value..:)

2008-09-06T21:16:00.002-04:00

I've never had much luck taking pictures in aquariums. My previous 4-year-old Kodak camera had very primitive settings that did not work out for an amateur photographer like me.

Recently, we bought a Canon SureShot 1100 and I've loved it so far. It has very sophisticated image stabilization and different pre-set modes to help in various environments. When we visited the Newport Aquarium yesterday, I thought I'd try out the "Aquarium" mode. The results were pretty good. I took some very random, point-and-shoot pictures and they turned out better than I could've ever expected!

DNC -- History is made!

2008-08-28T07:17:00.005-04:00

Barack Obama was nominated by acclamation as the candidate of the Democratic Party for Election 2008, the first African-American to ever lead a major part ticket. It was an emotional moment for African-Americans. Tears were rolling down their cheeks. Many of them were crying outright as they raised their heads proudly. An African-American party official said he wanted to dedicate this moment to his late father who lived through segregation and racial discrimination in the 50s. Finally, finally, vindication that they could aspire to the highest office in the USA and officially represent a major party!

It was a historic moment and I can now say that I watched it live.

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I've been following the race for the President of the US since January this year through the
grueling primaries, Hillary's defeat and the melodrama that followed afterward. I, for one, thought that Bill Clinton, after his wife's defeat, was a shadow of his former self, acting like a baby denied candy. I thought I'd see more of his wordplay yesterday night and a wishy-washy approval of Obama.

Instead, he came out swinging with his GOP slamming and outright approval of Obama. In the process, he showed everyone how its done..:) The thing with Clinton is that you forget all his faults when he shows up and starts talking nice. He sounds so sincere, eloquent and coherent that you want to believe him. Thus far, I thought no one, including the candidate, made a case for himself so strongly as Bill did for Obama! Definitely, one of the best talks of the convention.

S & I were wondering how in the world the country managed to listen to George W. Bush for 8 years after hearing someone like Bill.

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Tonight is Obama's acceptance speech. I am a sucker for good speeches and am looking forward to hearing this guy speak! :)

India Post

2008-08-20T15:57:00.002-04:00

India is still new to the Internet. A lot of established trading houses, merchants and even the Indian Embassy don't have good, usable websites. But I was pleasantly surprised by the India Post website. The website is usable, information is easy to find and most important actions are up-front in the home page. Way to go! :) The postal service has had the sense to hire a good developer who knows his bread and butter to do their website.

If you want an example of a badly done website, you should look at the Indian Embassy (Washington D.C) website. S had to fill an online application form to renew his passport and they had a big disclaimer saying they would ONLY accept online apps. So we dutifully tried it and ended up being their QE team. The 'Submit" button on the application threw a JavaScript error. We couldn't print or save the application because of some other exceptions. Some developer had forgotten the basic rule of coding -- HANDLE EXCEPTIONS!

I can't tell you how annoyed I was -- both as an end user as well as a software professional. As an end user, when I am sending confidential information, it is scary to see some strange exception. Do you take it that your operation failed? Succeeded? As a software professional, I intensely dislike people who can't do their basic homework and follow good practices. Is the Indian Embassy so poor that it can't hire a decent company to do their website? Or is it yet another example of the "chalta hai" attitude we see so much?

Brain dump..

2008-08-14T11:20:00.002-04:00

The people in the house behind ours put up a fence yesterday. Our next door neighbor did the same 2 months back. Our house had a fence when we bought it. I feel boxed-in when I see a bunch of fences around me instead of a clear view. Besides, the neighborhood children were playing in the backyards this summer. They were using the undivided space between the houses to play softball and to run around screaming. I guess now they're confined to limited space which must suck! Bah!

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I watched three movies this weekend. 'Thedi Vandha Mappillai' starring MGR, Jayalalitha has to be the worst movie made in that era. Horrendous dialogues and acting. Jayalalitha looked very pretty though! 'Enga Veetu Ramayanam' was a laugh riot. S.Ve. Shekar cracked me up. 'Jab We Met' was alright. Shahid Kapoor looked really cute! It was a feel-good movie but I thought the "crazy, simple girl does whatever her heart tells her to" routine is getting old these days. Recently, Genelia did that in 'Santosh Subramaniam' and now, it is Kareena. Honestly, I've not met one girl like that in all these years. So not sure whether to believe such people exist..:-)

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Belated Independence Day Wishes! This blog has been in draft mode for two days. I've not managed to publish it.

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One of my college friends sent me a link to Amitabh Bachchan's blog -- http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/ . It is interesting in its own way. I am surprised he finds the time to post regularly (and he insists it is he that's writing, not some ghostwriter) despite his busy schedule. It is quite nauseating to read the comments section of his posts --- all fawning, servile and irrelevant. I wonder if Indians have lost all sensibility. If someone is pouring his heart out about his mother, the only thing someone can find to say is, "You are awesome!" or something like it?? What's wrong with people!

Sivaramapuram

2008-08-02T09:20:00.001-04:00

On the highway from Kumbakonam to Mayiladuthurai (Mayavaram), near Kadiramangalam, lies a quaint little village on the banks of the Cauvery. It has been my grandmother's dream that I visit this place, her native village, at least once in her lifetime. Last year, after years of talking and dreaming about it, I did just that.

Our driver almost missed Sivaramapuram. He had never heard of it and he had been driving in those parts for quite some time. We managed to find it and our car couldn't get into the one-street village. We went on foot. It wasn't a big deal because the entire village consists of just one street.. :) The entrance to the village was dotted with a Siva temple.We were accosted by an old maami in madisaar clearly excited at the prospect of some new comers! I left my parents to banter with the madisaar maami and walked down the length of the street to the Cauvery.

It was an intensely personal journey for me filled with memories of my grandmother and her childhood tales. Narrated over afternoon siestas or lazy evenings in the thinnai of her house, her stories were always colorful and entertaining. To me, she and her village stories belonged to a magical, idyllic world that I could never personally experience! She is a good storyteller, that one..:)

Most of the houses in Sivaramapuram are dilapidated.I heard the madisaar maami say that most of the owners are in the US with their sons/daughters. Ha! The reach of the US even in these old parts. I reached the Rama temple at the end of the street on the banks of the Cauvery. It was always as my grandmother had told me! The padithurai where she and her siblings bathed every day was now dilapidated. I was a bit disappointed. People don't use rivers when there are bathrooms, I told myself. A couple of ancient banyan trees were hanging over the river, their branches lazily touching the Cauvery. My grandmother had told me that her boisterous brothers would swing from Banyan trees and jump with a splash into the river while the women were going about their chores. Could these trees be the one from her stories?!

We visited the erstwhile house of my grandmother. It had now become a Raghavendra Madam. The person next door was a distant-relative of my grandmother and she was maintaining the madam. She showed us inside the madam and gave us a tour. This place was once a 4-kattu house..This was where my grandmother grew up..I was lost in imagination until the maami invited us home to coffee. And what a coffee it was! The cow in the backyard had just been freshly milked. The smell of fresh boiling milk and decoction in the filter was simply intoxicating. I have to say that coffee was from Heaven! No Starbucks can beat that taste ever.

Some of these old places in the Tanjore district still maintain their old lifestyle. They are self-sufficient. Almost every house has a cow that feeds the family. Some of these families still manage agricultural lands and live off that produce like my grandmother's family once used to. They know where their food comes from and how it was grown. They know that their milk doesn't have anti-biotics, pesticides and artificial growth hormones. It is not that they do not know the joys of city life. A lot of them have well to-do sons/daughters in Chennai or abroad. But they choose to live there..

Today, there is talk of world famine and food shortage and everyone is encouraged to go "local". In the US, there's talk of encouraging people to have their own farms. That's how India used to be! That's the lifestyle we so vigorously rejected a few decades back! Now, its back in fashion but I am not sure that the knowledge still exists...Life's a Circle.

As Sivaramapuram faded away into the distance, I found myself thinking, "What have we done..God, what have we done?"

Outpourings on a Tuesday night..

2008-07-22T20:37:00.003-04:00

I went to Starbucks with a long-time friend this evening. It was just the two of us and I was all tingly with anticipation because she'd told me she had "special news" to share! Outings with girl friends are just so much more fun in some ways! You get to bond about a lot of things a guy is never, ever, ever going to get (even if it is one's husband). Back in college, Shailu and I used to regularly do this -- just hang out and do "girly" things. I miss that so much in the US! I had an awesome time just catching up on old times, talking about her guy, wedding plans, moving plans, the whole works.

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Some questions just become difficult to ask as we get older. Especially, topics about marriage and salary packages even with good friends. People get defensive about their choices and even if you were just asking most innocently, the conversation goes all awkward. Can words really mean so many things? I wouldn't mind if someone I know well asks me a similar question but different people come with different baggages, experiences and responsibilities. So these days I've drawn an invisible lakshman rekha with most people (Of course, there's still the few people I take that liberty with!). Does it bode well for those relationships? Do we need to risk asking hard questions sometimes? Or does not asking very personal questions somehow strengthen the relationship? I guess the answer to most of these questions is "It depends"..:)

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Speaking of relationships, I've agonized over a lot of friendships that "could have been". You really like a person and you want to get to know them well. But sometimes expectations aren't always balanced on both ends. Sometimes, people want more or they want less. Or maybe one blurts something that'd have been better left unsaid! The situation gets awkward and a once promising friendship fades away into obscurity. I've had my fair share of these and I've spent a lot of mental energy wondering if it could've turned out differently.

But these days I've had a lot of perfectly normal, conflict-less, amicable friendships fade into oblivion as well! These are due to the more practical demands of physical distance, work, school, family etc..

I've reconciled myself to the fact that if long-time friendships can fade into nothing, losing a few budding-friendships isn't so bad.

Acham Enbadhu Madamaiyada..!

2008-07-21T09:56:00.003-04:00

The 1960's in Tamilnadu must have been a time of revolutionary ideas, fiery leaders and pumped-up "I-can-do-it" attitude. It was the time when the DK was rising to power rapidly (There was no DMK-ADMK split yet) with its Tamizh-pride and anti-Hindi stances. I am not sure if the DK had already formulated its "Thani Tamizhnadu" (separate Tamilnadu) philosophy but to reach out to the masses and inspire them, the DK found a hero in Maruthur Gopala Ramachandra Menon (MGR).

MGR teamed up with Kavichakravarthy Kannadasan (lyricist), Mellisai Mannar MS Viswanathan and singer non-pareil, T.M. Soundararajan to deliver some of the most memorable songs of yesteryears. The simple lyrics were calculated to send a message to the masses while inspiring them with Tamil pride and courage. And of course, the foot-tapping melodies made sure that the songs would become a favourite in rural outposts! I am ambiguous about the MGR-DK agenda but one can't but appreciate the creativity that spawned such wonderful songs!

As I was driving to work, I was listening to "Acham Enbadhu Madamaiyada" from the film "Mannadhi Mannan". Even today, as I listen to it, I feel uplifted and enthusiastic. The lyrics go something like this:

அச்சம் என்பது மடமையடா!
அஞ்சாமை திராவிடர் உடமையடா!
ஆறிலும் சாவு, நூறிலும் சாவு,
தாயகம் காப்பது கடமையடா!

கனகவிசயரின் முடிதலை நெறித்து
கல்லினை வைத்தான் சேர மன்னன்!
இமய வரம்பினில் மீன் கொடியேற்றி
இசைபட வாழ்ந்தான் பாண்டியனே!

கருவினில் வளரும் மழலையின் உடலில்
தைரியம் வளர்ப்பாள் தமிழன்னை!
களங்கம் எழுந்தால் பெற்றவள் மானம்,
காத்திட எழுவான் அவள் பிள்ளை!

வாழ்ந்தவர் கோடி, மறைந்தவர் கோடி!
மக்களின் மனதில் நிற்பவர் யார்?
மாபெரும் வீரர், மானம் காத்தவர்
சரித்திரம் தனிலே நிற்கின்றார்!

Listen to the song here!

These days, every Tom, Dick and Harry actor gets a "cool" nick-name whether its applicable/desirable or not. But in those days, I really think MGR deserved his title "Puratchi Thalaivar"! The genius of these artists has always been largely under-appreciated. They didn't have the luxury of media exposure and the Internet that people have these days. But their art lives on and will continue for decades....

2008-06-20T10:51:00.001-04:00

There are many perks to an adult working life. But more than anything else, I L.O.V.E it because it confers on me three fundamental freedoms --

- freedom to use the restroom whenever I want (oh yeah, this is Numero Uno on the list!)
- freedom to eat when I am hungry
- freedom to drink water without being at the mercy of some eccentric teacher

With respect to the above three things, I am not sure how your experiences have been in schools. Mine have been rather, erm, interesting.

Asan Memorial in Chennai was good. We used to eat under the desks in between classes or even during a class (of course, without the knowledge of the teacher!). I was a kid and had limited inhibitions. I've asked to use the restroom in the middle of a class and teachers were usually accomodating. Restrooms were in good condition and had plenty of water. Of course, there were those kids who'd do it for a chance to just get away from the boring classes and teachers would deal rather sternly in those cases.

When I entered my teens, it became a bit complicated. In TVS Lakshmi, Madurai, you had rules for girls to use the rest room. I don't know if its just conservative mofussil towns or what, but boys would stare if a girl asked to use the toilet. The entire class would come to a grinding halt and all heads would be turned in the boys section toward the Girl Who Asked To Go. It was ridiculous! Sometimes teachers would refuse. What person in their normal senses would refuse a request for a basic need?!!?

Coming from cosmopolitan Chennai, I was unaware of all the "toilet" rules but I was enlightened soon. I outraged the modesty of all girls in the class by asking to use the restroom in front of a male teacher.

1. Don't ask to go before a male teacher. Heights of immodesty! Even if you are desperate, you have to preserve your modesty and die in your seat.
2. You have to secretly whisper it in the teacher's ears. You can't just raise your hand and speak from your place. That's for boys!
3. Don't use the dreaded "Toilet" word. That's yucky! Say "Please excuse me for a few minutes". That's more ladylike!
4. Don't look at the boys section when you get back. Lower your eyes and sit down.

It seems kinda stupid now but back then, I followed it because that's what everyone did. A lot of girls wouldn't drink water during class hours because of this problem. Girls restrooms weren't always clean at TVS Lakshmi. During peak summer, there wouldn't be water in the restrooms.

Things were similar in Trichy where I did my college. Girls were not supposed to go in the middle of class hours. But I was older, wiser and bolder for my high school experience in Canada. Once, a stupid Civil Engineering professor refused permission. I walked out of the class. That raised a huge uproar and I was summoned to the Staff Room. It just goes to show how ridiculous people can sometimes be!

It was a similar story with drinking water. You have to ask "permission". If guys do it without permission, that's understandable because "boys will be boys". But girls?! Oh no, we're supposed to be prim and proper even at the cost of our health.

I understand the need for teachers to maintain order in the class and all that jazz. But I think teachers sometimes take it to inhuman extents. I know of hundreds of girls who were dehydrating themselves because of this stupid rule. Is that good for our women in the long run?

Hopefully things have improved now in the schools of TN!

Working in the Summer

2008-06-19T09:26:00.002-04:00

Everyone in the US is talking about sky-high gas prices, cutting energy costs, going green etc..Awareness amongst people is definitely growing. Grocery chains like Whole Foods & Kroger have eschewed the use of plastic bags and are promoting re-usable cloth bags. Last week, I was pleasantly surprised to see Kroger & Walmart doing away with plastic bags!

We got these huge 'Naidu Hall', 'Pothys' cloth bags as remnants of my wedding saree shopping. I don't know why we decided to cart them to the US but they seem to be the wonder of the world here :) The Whole Foods cashier girl stops for a second to admire them every time we go. They also give me wooden nickels for every bag that I re-use. For every wooden nickel that customers donate, Whole Foods gives 10 cents to various charitable causes. S gets a kick out of deciding which cause he's going to donate to.

While all this is good, I wish they would do something about buildings in the US. These buildings have been designed to work only with artificial lighting. Even in the blazing summer when the Sun God decides to shine till 9.30 PM, we have lights on in the office buildings and shopping malls! For instance, Lowe's near my house is huge, big warehouse with zero windows. If they had skylights or huge windows every 10 feet, there wouldn't be a need for electrical lighting.

Besides, sitting in dark cubicles with harsh white lights on makes everyone sick. I get headaches in the office which vanish when I take a walk in the sun for 15 minutes! My tropical body is not designed for 60 F A/c either! Sigh. So I walk around with a sweater in the office all day. What's the point of wearing nice clothes to work if you have to drape a sweater over them anyway? I go to work looking like a hobo with faded jeans, wrinkled T-shirts etc..You get the picture.

Well-dressed people are important for eye-candy and give you something interesting to chew about (at least women) --

'That red top looks good. I need to get it!'
'Maybe I should get the capris that go with it too...she looks good in it!'

Therefore, the overall productivity of the US workforce will increase if more natural light is allowed in offices. You can tell I am desperate.

Dasavataram Experience...

2008-06-17T12:11:00.002-04:00

400-500 of us were packed into Danbarry theaters in Cincinnati on Sunday evening. The A/c was not turned on. It was sweltering hot inside. Tickets were oversold for 'Dasavataram'. People who had arrived 20 minutes earlier before showtime couldn't find seats. The person next to me had "reserved" seats for his friends/family with empty coke bottles, kerchiefs, napkins, popcorn boxes etc..There were many like him in the audience. There were shouts of "Alwarpettai Andavaaa..thalaivaa!" in the enthusiastic audience. A lot of people were standing in the back row because of the tickets confusion. Some people had to refund their tickets and return disappointed.

It was a typical Indian cinema experience! :) For a minute, I wondered if I was back in Chennai.

I wouldn't call this movie a total disappointment. The racy screenplay was engaging and the fast pace of the movie left little time to ruminate. However, Kamalhassan could definitely have avoided these overt make-up gimmicks. Some of the roles would've been better if played by others.

What I liked:

1. Screenplay

2. Intelligent weaving of chaos theory concepts

3. Boovarahan, Balram Naidu, Paatti. The portrayal of Boovarahan was particulary touching and authentic. I was moved by this character. The Paatti was funny because she used language that reminded me of my own grandmother..:)

4. No stupid duets in unnecessary places. Even the songs were effectively used to move the screenplay on. Good job!

5. The first out-and-out thriller/chase Tamil movie I've seen with biotech terrorists and what-not.

6. Questions about the existence/non-existence of God. Beautifully portrayed! Makes the audience question co-incidences.

7. The Tsunami scene. What I didn't realize through 4 years of articles and media coverage, I realized in those 5 minutes of the movie -- the scale of disaster, the impact on the average person etc...Very poignant, touching scene!

8. Napoleon looked the part as the Chola king. Was pleasantly surprised! His Tamil sucked though. I was thinking that he'd make a good Periya Pazhuvettarayar if 'Ponniyin Selvan' is ever made.

What I didn't like:

1. The deliberately inflammatory Rangarajan Nambi episode. I am not an exclusive Saivite nor am I an anti-Vaishnavite. But I was offended by this portrayal of Saivism. The lines from the song "Kallai Mattum Kandaal.." --

"Ettukkul Aindhu adangividum Aanal
Aindhukkul ettu adangaadhu.."

(Meaning: The eight-lettered Namo Narayanaya can encompass the five-lettered Nama Shivaya. But five letters cannot contain 8)

particularly inflamed me. If we're talking about Vaishnavites being victimized in the 12th century, let's talk about what's happening today in Srirangam and other Vaishnavite-dominated places. I've personally been discriminated against in Srirangam many, many times (within and without the temple).

2. Music. Himesh Reshamaiyya has single-handedly delivered a mortal blow to this movie.

3. The feet-licking sycophancy in the last scene -- what relation has Karunanidhi to this movie?!

4. Make-up overkill. Could've easily avoided 5-6 roles. Many of the characters didn't have depth and weren't developed well.

5. The Rangarajan Nambi episode didn't tie in with the rest of the story. If any of you knows how it relates, please do comment.

6. The title 'Dasavataram' has very minimal relation to the storyline. And that leads me to..

7. The movie is about Kamalhassan, the man and not about the story/characters/roles. This, according to me, is THE biggest drawback. Even the title is about the man doing 10 roles.

Definitely watchable once or twice!

Young Men in Spats - Page 123

2008-06-15T12:19:00.003-04:00

In response to IBH's book tag: "The tag is about the book that you are currently reading, turn to page 123, count till line 5 and write down the lines after that!"

"But listen..."
"Good night, Mr. Widgeon."

The aunts said good night, too, and so did the butler. The girl Dahlia preserved a revolted silence.

From " Young Men in Spats" -- P.G. Wodehouse

I was looking for Jeeves-Wooster stories at the public library. Couldn't find a single one, darn it! So I settled for "Young Men in Spats".

'Dasavatharam', Cholas and Racism...

2008-06-13T10:26:00.001-04:00

S is dead-stubborn that we should watch 'Dasavatharam' playing in Cincinnati this Sunday. We got the tickets yesterday. I wasn't (am) not very excited about it because I have my own personal grudge against this movie.

In one of the roles, Kamal plays Rangarajan Nambi of Srirangam. Rangarajan Nambi gets persecuted (in the movie) by Kulothunga Chozha I for his Vaishnavite faith. Kanniks told me that this role was based on Sri Ramanujar's life. Now, I have my own soft corner for the Cholas and I refuse to vilify these kings who nurtured Saivism/Vaishanvism alike and endowed millions to Vaishnavite temples (including Srirangam. There's an inscription in the temple to support this).

Personally, I've always felt that the Tamilnadu government glorified the Pandyas and the Pallavas while ignoring the Chozha heritage of TN. We hear of Narasimha Pallava of Mahabalipuram fame and the Tamil Sangam nurturing Pandyas of Madurai often in the history books. Why are Chozhas not given as much prominence? What about Raja Raja Chozha who retrieved the Tamizh devarams from ruin? I've never read more than 2 lines dedicated to Raja Raja Chozha or Rajendra Chozha.

Coming from the heart of Chozha countries, some of these things strike close to heart. Assuming that Kulothunga Chozha indeed was a religious fanatic, why single out Chozhas for religious persecution?! What about the Pandyan who massacred the Jains near Madurai? What about Narasimha Pallava/Mahendra Pallava who did the same?

I'll reserve final judgement after I see the movie. Watch out for more rants on this space..:)

Telephone guilt

2008-06-03T22:03:00.002-04:00

The Mr. is gone to a traffic class all evening today, the result of getting a speeding ticket about 3 months back. You get to escape the hefty dollar fine by signing up for a 3.5 hour class. PB told me once that this lecture was actually quite engrossing. I'll find out from S tonight..:)

I hate cooking alone without conversational company. So I dialed a few friends I haven't called in ages. I always dread calling people after a looooong time. I can never tell what the opening gambit will be:

a) a gushing "Wow! How are you? I have so much to tell you...!" OR
b) a sarcastic "Oooh, you actually remember me?!! Glad you could spare a few minutes from your schedule!"

With a), the conversation just flows and you never feel the long gap in communication. With b), everything goes downhill from the first moment. This happened today. My friend tried to make me feel very guilty for not calling. I spent time justifying myself and explaining in detail my busy, daily schedule. In the end, I was exhausted and he was frustrated and neither of us got to really catch-up on our respective lives.

I've played this game myself sometimes. But that lasts for 30 seconds. This lasted 30 minutes. I think that sometimes it pays to take some things for granted -- like friendship. If a person's commitment/trust is continually called into question and one has to prove oneself almost daily, it becomes annoying. This is precisely the reason I don't call relatives as well!

Sometimes, when you have face-time with a person, all these guilt-games fade into inconsequence. Do telephonic conversations play-up insecurities and maybe, hasten the end of some relationships?

Brands of 10 things I currently can't live without..

2008-05-15T16:21:00.001-04:00

1. Internet

E-mail, photos, feed reader, blog, maps -- Google rules my life while I surf the web!

2. Yogurt & Buttermilk -- Organic Stone Valley Whole Milk Yogurt with Cream on Top & buttermilk

I have a tendency to put yogurt on anything I eat as a finishing
course -- curry, rotis, it really doesn't matter! :) I can't survive
without yogurt/buttermilk for a week!

3. Toothbrush -- Colgate

Honestly, I am not consciously inspired/loyal to Colgate. I've been using it since I was a kid and I don't see any reason to complain. So I stick with it. It is one of those things I take for granted.

4. Coffee -- Bru

For while I tried Nescafe. But nothing beats our good, old Bru!

5. People

I guess I don't have a brand for this one but the ones that are fun, lively and kind would make the cut..:) I can't survive without some kind of human contact everyday..

6. Cellphone -- Samsung T509

My first cellphone in the US was a Samsung which I absolutely loved. It was easy to use and the battery life was amazing. It didn't switch off randomly and the software was pretty intuitive. The next phone was the disastrous Moto RaZr which I bought in a fit of aattu mandhai mentality. Boy, did I regret it! After 2 years of it, I drove S crazy by insisting that I'll buy ONLY Samsung. This is one brand I am very loyal to!

7. Laptop -- Lenovo (nee IBM) Thinkpad

I am a huge fan of Thinkpads. I love their light-weight feel and the cooling system is the best I've seen. I own two Thinkpads..:)

8. Music --

iPod, iTunes, my car's mp3 player and my hardy laptop -- these things provide my daily fix of music. I guess there's no one brand I go to for my music.

9. Shoes -- Reebok

I am not a brand name junkie, in general. But when it comes to shoes, it makes a difference what you wear. Especially if you run/walk a lot. I like my current Reebok sneakers.

10. Videocam -- Sony

I use this to capture most of the memorable moments in my life. What'll I do without thee?

Carnatic musicians and the music lovers of today..

2008-05-10T09:59:00.001-04:00

I cannot claim great theoretical knowledge of Carnatic music nor can I identify 200 different ragas in the bat of an eyelash. Expert musicians may frown at me because I can't tell Huseni apart from Nayaki. But I listen to lots of music and have strong opinions on music/musicians. I think D.K. Patammal's rendition of "Mamava Pattabhirama" is THE best. I might not like Sanjay's Abhogi as much as I like his Darbar. I like to listen to Maharajapuram Santhanam's Raga Dwijavanthi when I want to be soothed but I'd listen to the same Raga by Sudha Ragunathan if I want to feel hyper. It is my pet peeve that most artists sing "Anandamritakarshinim.." in Raga Amritavarshini like an express train and lose the beauty of Raga Amritavarshini. And I believe next to Sri Muthuswami Dikshithar, Ilayaraja is the king of Amritavarshini (Thoongadha Vizhigal Rendu from Agni Nakshathiram)!

I am sure there are millions of other novices like me who have similar ideas. Meet the new generation of armchair music philosophers. I am sure this clan existed as long as music has but this generation is more empowered. Technological profileration in the form of iPods, portable mp3/CD/Cassette players have helped this on. But the attitude of the music-listening public has changed as well. I don't have to wait until December season to buy expensive concert tickets to listen to T.M. Krishna or Sanjay or Nithyasree in full form. I can listen to music in the privacy of my own home/car when and where I choose to. Thanks to the Internet, I can listen to thousands of songs from lots of different artists. I form opinions & expectations even before I go to a concert.

I am stating the obvious here. So what does this new generation audience mean to performing artists? Familiarity breeds contempt. If a musician falls into a pattern of singing songs from his/her CDs all the time and does it in the exact same style, will the audience enjoy it? No more than once or twice. This is precisely what happened with me at the Aruna Sairam concert last week.

I like Aruna Sairam but this concert was like listening to one of her CDs. She sang Nannu Vidachi in Reetigowlai the exact same way as I've heard her in iTunes. Most songs didn't have raga alapana or neraval. They were just renditions of flat, straight-up krithis. Besides, the audience asked for 4-5 tukkadas which've been sung by her a thousand times before! I could almost guess even before she started --

Enna kavi padinalum in Nilamani
Baje Mrudunga in Darbari Kanada
Madu Meikkum Kanne -- Folk

I was looking for something new/refreshing and I was disappointed! How much can an artist afford to satisfy the audience?! Wouldn't it be like getting into a rut? In today's world where music is so freely available, I don't think artists can afford to get into a predictable pattern of songs.

I am very much a fan of Aruna Sairam. I believe the bhavam she brings to songs is quite hair-raising. But I would definitely like to see her improvise, sing new songs and startle the audience once in a while.

T.M. Krishna Concert

2008-04-27T18:00:00.001-04:00

I am writing this post in a pleasant, food-induced stupor (Vegetable pulao + raitha). I have to say that I've surpassed myself this time with the pulao! Yummmm..Of course, my pulao has nothing to do with T.M. Krishna's brilliant concert last week in Cincinnati..:-)

Frankly, I didn't go to the concert expecting too much. I like T.M. Krishna and own a couple of his CDs but I've never been raving fan of his. But he managed to convert me into a believer in the span of 3 hours and 45 minutes! It was a classic, traditional Carnatic concert replete with Ragam Tanam Pallavi. What really attracted me in this concert was the refreshingly off-beat krithis that were chosen in very common Ragas. The ragas he chose for the evening were quite crowd-friendly -- Ananda Bhairavi, Kamas, Sankarabharanam, Atana, Riti Gowlai, Hamsanandi and Salaga Bhairavi. When he started on Atana, I thought he'd sing Tyagaraja's "Yela Nee Dayaradu" or Sivan's "Nee Iranga Enil". Surprisingly, he embarked on "Kumaralaya Nagara.." by Swathi Thirunal. For the main piece of the evening in Sankarabharanam, he chose "Dakshinamurthe.." in Misra Jhampa talam.

The Ragam Tanam pallavi was also quite an interesting piece demonstrating his mastery over intricate talams and ragas. He started off in Ritigowlai in a 10-beat cycle. In the pallavi section ("Dasaratha Bala Rama Chandraiyya"), he cascaded onto Mohanam, Dhanyasi, Kalyani before coming back to Riti Gowlai.

I think T.M. Krishna is half-way there on his way to greatness. I'd have loved to seen a bit more bhavam in his singing along with technical flourishes. This week its Aruna Sairam in Cincinnati. More on that concert next week....

Random rant to vent and make me feel better

2008-04-11T15:20:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning, I found out that a first cousin of mine has cancer. It was diagnosed recently and she had to go through surgery. I am quite fond of this cousin and it hurt me that she had to go through this trauma. We share a lot of similarities of personality and I see part of myself in her. That's why it hit home.

If she can get it, I can too (someday) because we share the same genes.

The worst thing is that she came to my wedding and she was already silently suffering.

News like this sends me into the "Why us, Dear God?" mode first. As I drive to work, all failures/frustrations in the extended family flash through my mind's eye -- failed marriages, cases of black magic, illnesses, heartbroken parents, fatherless children, shattered dreams. I don't talk with all my family members all the time but I think about them often. And each time some tragedy strikes, its like a wound in the collective consciousness. I feel it as much as the affected people do.

And of course, on days such as these, the universe tests one's patience by sending other irritants. I almost got hit by stupid drivers twice on my way to work -- once on the freeway and once on the exit from the freeway. Both these drivers decided to cut across lanes without indicators. For the first time in my life, I gave vent to road rage. Then, I had to end up reading about the Congo war and that caused even more misery.

Anyways, end of rant. Hopefully the sun will smile from the clouds soon enough..:)

2008-04-10T15:33:00.001-04:00

In my random afternoon browsing , I ran across this article about the war in Congo. Incidentally, NPR ran a feature about the same war yesterday in their "All Things Considered" program. I suppose I should be used to these kinds of brutalities now after hearing about Darfur, Iraq, Afghanistan etc...But I am not and I felt an overwhelming physical urge to just throw up after reading this article..:( Having to hang your own baby with your hands?! Jeez.

But the maturity of this woman is stunning. Hats off to her!

Zawadi has one big wish. She wants the Interahamwe, the Rwandan Hutu
militia, driven from the forests of Congo. "Do you also," I ask her,
"want these men, the ones who destroyed your family, to be punished,
tracked down and killed for what they did?"
Her answer is the same as a year ago: "No I don't. I still feel
that I don't want those people to be killed. I know that God will judge
them."

Can we really ignore where we're from?

2008-03-13T12:20:00.003-04:00

I watched Jodhaa Akbar. I loved it mainly because of Hrithik's performance as a dignified yet vulnerable emperor who's trying to woo a proud woman. This might never have happened in history but I loved the performance anyway (The scene where Maham Anga is briefing a sheepish Hrithik who gets distracted by his beautiful wife is class)!

Fueled by this movie, I began a frenzy of reading about the Mughals. All the Mughals except Akbar were well-read and they're surprisingly candid in their memoirs. I've read bits and pieces of Babur's writings, Jahangir's memoir, Aurangzeb's letters and the Ain-i-Akbari. History books have always emphasized that the Mughals after Babur were quintessentially Indian having been born and raised in Hindustan. I had also come to think of the Mughals as Indians and the British rule as an unjust "foreign" rule.

However, what really shocked me was how most of these Mughal emperors (except Akbar) viewed themselves as "outsiders" and "superior" beings to the local populace. Babur openly writes that he hates the clime and the "infidel" people of "Hindoostan". He viewed himself as a "ghazi" or holy warrior. Jahangir was openly a religious zealot and believed that his was the superior clan. Shah Jahan seems to have followed the pattern. Aurangzeb was perhaps the worst of them all. In one of his letters to his sons, he tells him to hold "firm to his faith" and to persecute the "infidels" mercilessly by torturing them. I can understand the "hold firm to your faith" part but torture your own subjects just because their non-believers? That too, 150 years after your ancestors entered Hindustan and adopted the country?

History books also seem to have mislead us by parroting that everyone was happy under Mughal rule and that the Britishers were the "bad guys" who fostered dissessions. Based on all these memoirs, it sure feels like the Hindu-Muslim discord was always there festering under the calm veneer of society. The flames were fanned higher by Aurangzeb who made it a point to destroy Hindu temples to build his palaces and places of pleasure. I don't think the resentment felt by the Hindu population chafing under Mughal rule was ever resolved. Before it reached a healthy conclusion, the Britishers took root in the land but it was always there, lurking. Godhra, Babri Masjid et al.. are just occasional outbursts of that resentment.

To some extent, I feel cheated. I know it sounds silly after 500 years. But here we are, preening our Mughal heritage to the world, crowing about Mughal paintings, music and the Taj Mahal as examples of beautiful, "Indian" art while the king who created it really felt like he was a Persian and not really part of Hindustan! :(

Being immigrants to the US, a lot of us face the same conundrum the Mughals faced. We want to hold onto our faith, our beliefs, our culture but we also try to blend in. How much blending in is acceptable? How much will make us just "one of them"-- a betrayer of our faith and values? Can we ever ignore the fact that we're Indian and make decisions excluding that fact? At least for first-generation NRIs, I don't think it is possible. No matter how many years you've lived in your adopted country, the call of the homeland will always be in the blood and it will always resound stronger than any other call.

The My-Five Tag

2008-02-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

Umm..err..the thing that has come out of trying to write this tag is this re-discovery of how crappy some (most?) of my previous posts have been. Bad English, bad usage, could've rephrased some sentences etc.. The list goes on. But here they are..

Family

My forays into personal, familial stuff on this blog has always been cautious and limited. Lots of relatives, friends and extended family read this blog and that's always a deterrent..:) I've been flirting for a while with starting an anonymous blog where I can say anything I want. But I've been stumped by what to call it.

Anyhoo, in what little glimpses I've given of my family in this blog, my baby brother, dad and this rant make an appearance.

Me, me, me!

If you just surf through the archives, you'll find that's what this blog is all about: ME. There's a lot of useless info here including what I like, what I don't like, what drives me nuts, who I like etc..:) If you don't know me much, here's two posts you can read to acquaint yourself -- here and here.

Friends

One of the best trips I had in the US was to the Niagara. I went with Priya and Venky back in 2005 and it was quite a memorable trip. Apart from the usual sight-seeing stuff, there were some, umm..err, very funny incidents on the trip. Since Venky might not agree with me, I dare not post them here..:) But this is what I wrote after we came back from Niagara. Here's a post I wrote with fond memories about my childhood friend Gunpun here.

I daresay there have been lots of posts here about friends. Surf around if you want to find more..:)

My love

Of course, it is marathamizhan..:) Then come the beautiful temples of TN and Tamizh!

What I like

Music, Pets, Indian handicrafts and arts and writing in this space.

In which I manage to successfully throw garbage on a bitter cold, ice-rain day

2008-02-21T21:17:00.001-05:00

I am watching Friends ("In which they play touch football on Thanksgiving day") as I write this. So you can tell where my title inspiration came from. Tomorrow is garbage day in the area where we live. When we were dividing household responsibilities, I'd sneakily managed to push off putting out garbage onto S's list. I claimed the delicacy of the fairer sex and my perpetual cold hands/feet in winter. Anyone who has had to do garbage in the winter will vouch that it requires physical endurance. You have to attire yourself for the cold and brave the icy, whipping winds. You see, I really do have valid reasons for getting S to do it. So this can't really be categorized as sneaky.

Anyhoo, we usually only remember garbage day when we notice our punctual neighbors' garbage cans outside as we drive to work. By then, of course, it would be too late to go back home. We'd solemnly tell each other that next time, we would definitely remember to do the garbage on time instead of letting it hibernate in our garage for one more week. You all know how that story would've carried on.

S is out of town for some days. So this glorious responsibility of throwing garbage fell on me this week and wonder of wonders, I actually remembered! On this horrible ice-rain, sleet and slush-rain day, the brave trooper decided to do her duty. She knew it would be cold and bundled herself up in two sweatshirts, gloves, hat and a scarf. What the brave trooper didn't know was that the driveway would be all covered by ice. As I moved my car to wheel the garbage cans out, the car started slipping. Brakes and handbrake didn't work. So I just let the car slowly slip down to the curb and then parked it. Now, I put one foot on the driveway and fell with a resounding thud. No worries, I thought, I've got to put the garbage out. I managed to crawl my way up to the house and rolled out the garbage. Mission accomplished with two more falls, a few grazes and some ungraceful, waltzing on the ice. Whew.

Now, I wanted to park the car back in the garage. This was seeming like an Olympian task to me at this point. The car refused to get any traction on the icy driveway. It slipped, twisted and waltzed its way back to the curb each time I tried. So, after a ten minute fight, I gave up and managed to decently park the car on the curb.

So, here I am, sitting on the couch with hot badam milk, watching "Friends", nursing my sore body but feeling proud about my garbage accomplishment! Go girl power! Now you know why I had to write this. So much adventure for nothing? Naah. Can't let it go without a post! :)

PS: Arun, I've not forgotten your tag. It follows tomorrow.

Yoga Craze

2008-02-13T11:45:00.002-05:00

I've become a Yoga freak. Initially, I tried a couple of Ayurvedic home remedies and they worked like a charm. Then, one day, I came home with a tension headache and read somewhere that Sarvangasana (Shoulder Stand Pose) cures tension headaches. I tried it and in a couple of minutes, I was feeling much better! So, I am officially now a Yoga fan. We got this BKS Iyengar book about Yoga yesterday and I am planning to religiously follow a Yoga regimen.

Of course, as with all fads that hit me, let's see if I actually follow this through to completion. But, this one, I really, really, really, really want to do be consistent!:)

Snakes in Dreams...

2008-02-10T20:23:00.000-05:00

I read "Queen of Dreams" by Chita Divakaruni Banerjee in the 10 days before my wedding. Originally, I'd borrowed it from a friend when he went to India. But somehow, it ended up sitting on my shelf for a year without me turning a single page of it. I think I had a pre-conceived notion that the book would put me to sleep (maybe because of the "Dreams" reference in the title..?) and never read it. So, this was my in-flight reading for the trip home for the wedding and if it put me to sleep on the flight, good for me! In between shopping trips, chatting with relatives and mad dashes to the tailor, I finished reading the book.

Honestly, I can't say I was very impressed. The plot was initially very intriguing and definitely seemed to go somewhere. Rakhee is a confused ABCD with a very strange mom. The mom sleeps apart from her daughter and husband. She takes to sudden bouts of illnesses and has strange people visit her. Rakhee stumbles across her mom's diary after her death and reads about her past in snatches. It is a tale of caves, dream-tellers, of time travel and the "Elders" etc..Anyways, I was looking for some clarity and closure toward the end of it all. But there was none. Instead I started wondering if Rakhee's mom was perhaps just, you know, mental and living in two realities.

Anyhoo, the opening passages of the book say that if snakes appear in dreams, they foretell change. When I was between 5 - 15 years old, I would regularly have creepy dreams about snakes. One repetitive dream I had was a five-headed snake slithering down our street calling out my name and when I came out, it would start conversing with me in Sanskrit. Another one was when we'd be playing cricket on our terrace and the ball would fall into the sunshade. I'd climb into the sunshade to get the ball and suddenly find myself mired in a snake pit. None of the snakes in my dream would ever bite me or hurt me. But they'd slither around in their yucky fashion and make me extremely upset. Not that these dreams prevented me from sleeping or anything. But they were just mildly annoying and fatiguing.

My parents consulted some astrologers about this. They said that Mars was very weak in my horoscope and I had to wear a topaz ring to offset the weakness of Mars. I was also told to pray to Lord Muruga every day as he was the commander of all the planets. Well, honestly, I can't say all this helped. Nonetheless, the topaz ring was pretty and I still wear it today..:) I continued having horrible dreams until I was about 17. Then, one fine day, they suddenly ceased.

I don't know if in some Freudian way I'd come to terms with life and therefore, my subconscious stopped surfacing these dreams. Or maybe I'd just gotten used to snakes in some way. Anyways, it was a relief in some ways. Almost everyone I know has some recurring dream or other. What's yours?

Wuthering Heights..

2008-02-05T09:22:00.001-05:00

I had this book for non-detailed study in Grade 9. I can confidently say that I never really GOT the book. Oh, I understood what was happening but I couldn't really connect to the spirit of the book at that age. The emotional motivations of the characters were just too complex for me to fathom --- especially the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine. Why did Heathcliff torture Catherine if he loved her? And why would she lead him on if she liked him and then not marry him?!! In the end, I couldn't really figure out if Heathcliff was a good guy or an utter villain or why he did what he did. I disliked the book.

Last week, a friend forwarded me a short story with a protagonist called Heathcliff. That reminded me of Wuthering Heights and on a whim, I decided to actually read a synopsis of Wuthering Heights. Wonder of wonders, it made a lot more sense to me now than 13 years ago! I think it takes some emotional maturity to understand how intense love can turn into an intense love-hate emotion. By the way, I still believe that if love turns to hate, it was not really love in the first place. But I've seen it happen and I guess I can accept it now.

So, my advice to the designers of school syllabi is: Don't introduce novels just because they're high sounding and have good titles. You're killing the spirit of the literary work by introducing it prematurely to a young audience when they're not capable of appreciating the different shades of the novel. It gives them a dislike of such works.